I dont know what I've done, and I dont know how I did it. But some how I managed to become completely alone. My "best" friend ...what ever that means, just stopped talking to me. And I have tried to keep the friendship alive, but it seems its only my part that wants to make it work. seven years of nothing I guess. Shes only ever talked to me when shes needed something, like a drive to a concert, inviting me to her play to raise money for her school. She doesnt ask me to hang out anymore. And I dont know.. I havent a clue as to what I've done. Then theres the fact of this guy I really cared about, one day we made out.. bad idea.. now everything is non-existent. I haven't spoken to him in over 4 weeks. I guess I can see where I went wrong. I've tried to fix it, but it hasnt worked. My grandma who is the ONLY person whos ever put anything in perspective for me is in the hospital with a broken leg. And to call her, any way in my mind and tell her whats going on with everything, would be just making her more depressed. I dont want that. My mom, the final person who I love most enough to miss, well shes pretty stressed with her school, the house and the money, the food and the family with everything. She doesnt need to hear me, I dont want her to.. last time I tried to talk to her she just used it against me. I guess what I'm saying is that with everything thats happened this past year just seems like it was on the wrong thing. I need to make things right again, but I dont know how. I dont know where to start... because Im still trying to figure out where I went wrong. I needed to let this out ... Sorry.
When you feel the time is right, you will become proactive, and thereby change the present situation. For the present, just enjoy the time that you now have available to spend with you!
Things will always be bad for everyone at one point, even though it seems it can't be any worse, It always can. When things do get better, they will probably be bad in the future. Just remember, Something that goes up must come down at equivilent speed.
yup, sounds like high school. i have to just tell, you, i went through some really tough times similar to what you are experiencing when i was around 15/16 - (getting kicked out of home, losing friends, feeling used and abused by boys, etc.), and there were times when i thought the whole world was against me, and i couldnt handle it any longer, but trust me there is a light at the end of the tunnel!! All bad experiences are lessons, and they teach you to appreciate the good times in life. Imagine, if life was great everyday, how would we know it was great if there was nothing to compare it against!? Just hang in there, i know it hurts when your best friend is suddenly disinterested, trust me, ive been there, we've all been there, but new friends eventually come along. Just stay positive and much love to you!
oh yeah and dont blame yourself! Its not your fault, and wondering about where u went wrong isnt going to help you feel better. Even if you did things differently something bad would've happened in another area, its just the way life is i guess. As much as we humans would like to believe, we cant control everything! (i know, its a bugger isnt it?) But yeah, the important thing is to not blame yourself its not your fault, these things just happen sometimes. Love Love!!
Everything WILL get better trust me. We all go through really hard times. You and your friend will reconcile or you will make another friend. Grandmas leg will heal. And your moms stress will diminish. stay optimistic!
