Ask a stupid Question.. Get a stupid Answer

The moon mice ate him.

Where did all my socks go?

 

I am sorry to break this to you but......
I ate your socks!

Who? what? why? where? when?

 

dunno, come back and ask me next week.

Why do things never go right when you want them to?

 

because you were supposed to make a left turn at albuquerque.





why do all the streets in california seem to go all the way to freaking sweden?

 

Because Sweden made it that way.

Why is dead skin so weird?

 

Because it's flaky. Hah!! Get it? It's flaky! Bwa ha ha ha ha!

Why are the highways in Hawaii called interstates? Think about it.

 

because they wanted to be different...

Why are nosebleeds so annoying?

 

because they totally ruin your dinner.


why do cats purr?

 

Because they can't curse.

When black people play chess, do they let the black pieces move first?

 

No because that would defy the point of White Supremacy.


Why is October the month of no gods?

 

poor advertising budget
why cant I fly without mechanical help?

 

Because Red Bull totally lied!

Why do we go green with envy?

 

Because Envy is an environmentalist.

Will the wind ever remember the names it has blown in the past?

 

Only if they were worth blowing.


Why can't nutsacks be smooth?

 

Because smooth will always be too good for bollocks

Why is it simon who says?

 

Because Simon said so. Besides, no one wants to play Fred Says.

Is it mere coincidence that parrot rhymes with ferret?

 

only if simon says it is!

how many scotsmen does it take to change a lightbulb

 

None, it's their bearded ladies that do it.


Why do I feel the irresistable urge to shit on Ronnie's lawn?

 

because ronnie's lawn resembles a toilet



if a train leaves boston at 2:00 traveling at 50mph bound for cleveland and another train leaves new york for st. louis at 3:29 traveling 54mph, which conductor is totally horny?

 

Andre Previn



What's on the end of the stick, Vic?