heres the thing. i have a really hard time making new friends. when i met someone new, i freeze up, go blank, can't think of anything to keep a conversation going. my lack of friends OFFLINE i'm sure is a major part of my feeling depressed and just plain crappy lately. so i need your help! i figure if i can fake it.. act like i know what i'm doing, then after awhile it will become natural. so heres what i need/want from everyone here. conversation starters. friendly greetings. i'm going to try and get out more offen. (i'm sure i'm agorophobic to some extent.) hopefully i'll start seeing the same people and i'll not feel so shy around strangers. any other ideas that have worked for former lonely/friendless folks?
I'm sorry, but conversation gimmicks, IMO, have never fostered real human relationships. What make two people become emotionally connected are two things: 1) sharing in productive activities; 2) exposing oneself;
i went to a kids birthday party a few weeks ago. there were tons of adults there. i feel like i made no connections. i felt horrible after the party. i felt stupid that i had nothing to talk about and that i froze up whenever someone introduced themselves or i introduced myself.. you know that awkward silence? yeah.. thats all i'm good at. "hi i'm madeline. nice to meet you." .. thats as far as i really got :& ...
I've been there. But have you noticed other people making close connections there? I would bet most of them would not, even if they are better conversationalists than we are. The best way to make a friend is to engage in a common interest.
Hello! I figure that because you have a desire to meet new people you are well on your way to having lots of friends. There are a million things you can talk about to get a conversation started so there is no reason to be at a loss for something to say. When I meet someone new I shake their hand and tell them my first and last name people like that because it is open and honest and honesty is the root of a friendship. Cheers!
I usually just approach random strangers with some sort of a comment. Per example: Guy's wearing a Velvet Underground shirt, so I go and say "Lou Reed is God, ya know?" Or... Girl is looking at the sky... I come and say "Lets count the stars!". Always leads to conversation... and always always remember...... if people don't wanna talk you ya, then it's their loss.... not yours.
Nowadays, making friends is so difficult... better try to find people with common affinities and interests. I'd suggest you to make some criticism to yourself from the point of view of friendship. Evaluate what you'd want them to offer to you for you offer it then. The idea is to find a good friend, that be worthwhile. It is not convenient to maintain friendships that are not adjusted to your "needs", live for yourself, not for the rest. I know it's hard (to me, too!). Have a positive attitude, you beautiful soul! Peace & Love. Freeko.
I don't have a lot of 'real' friends. I have lots of people I can always do things with or call if I lock my keys in my car or whatever. But I can't be myself around any of them and our conversations aren't very deep. If you want friends to do stuff with maybe join a group or start doing things with co-workers? As far as deep friendships go those are so hard to come by, for me anyway.
Just say whatever is on your mind... If you're standing next to someone during a party say whatever you want. I normally start off with a compliment before I even introduce myself, because normally something they said, wore or did got my attention. I believe saying hello is like saying I have nothing better to say to you and its not a conversation starter-so I leave it off till they ask. You can also do something you're comfortable with like taking pictures or drawing that might catch someones attention and they'll come and start talking to you about something you like. For me, bumming a cigarette has always worked. You can go up to anyone one that's smoking, bum one and then just stand there chatting with them about anything. It doesn't have to be something extremely interesting, just say whatever is on your mind and people will respect you for being honest and not fake. I hate when people feel they have to put on a show for others.
i went through the local paper and made a list of things i want to get involved in and try. tonight i'm going to a hula hoopdance jam thingy that is every sunday evening near a popular beach. i figure even if i don't have anything to say i can still be part of something.. it's a start. i also found an ad for FAMILY YOGA! i'm excited about that. other momma's and kids for my little one not to become a lonely adult like myself. i've noticed i'm really good about whining about not having friends. it's time.. i need to get off my ass and "fix" it myself.. only i can. send me calming vibes this evening.. i'll need them to remain relaxed and not get upset if i don't make a connection tonight. the "I WANT IT NOW!" feeling is what "hurts" me most. thanks for all the good ideas.. y'all make me not feel so ... awkward.
Join clubs or groups or go to places you enjoy...that way you'll find people there who like some of the same things as you do. Having common interests is always a nice way to break the ice. Just be yourself, be friendly, etc. Good luck.
Theres always people up on current events who want to talk about it. Read a newspaper to discuss local issues.
Work can be a good talking point, say if your in the newsagent you can just ask hows business. Doesnt work so good when someone is unemployed or under stress at work. The good thing about talking about work is you usually dont get a bitchy responce. I go into a lot of peoples houses for work, one of the first things I will say is what do u do for work. You get a good idea of what they are like and you usually will not get a bad responce. If you act casual and dont pressure people with this question you will get a better responce. Nothing worse than, oh what u do with work: Oh Im a plumber: Oh shit work yea. You get the idea, relax, take it easy. Dont be afraid to not talk around people, if your comfortable with this it can be interesting. Oh yea and if someone is hassling you, dont feel you have to even answer. Play it cool you will see. Mick C
