Why doesn't he want to have sex?

He's masturbating to porn while you go without him. In my opinion, that's not only insulting, it's passive-aggressive behavior. Move on, I say! Move on!

 

yeah I guess I should. I mean if it were the other way around he would probably leave.

 

lol I live in Ontario ca... off Haven St. and yea if it were the other way around he would probly leave you, shit, id probly leave my lady if i couldnt have sex for a couple months, as selfish as that is... A few weeks is as long as i can go...

 

It could be that he has a low libido, though he´d have never been overly sexual in the first place if that was the case. He could be getting it elsewhere, or it could be that he no longer fancies you - have you put on weight? Being honest with yourself is vitally important, here.


Honey, it may well be that you´ve made yourself too available to him. In my experience, the way to keep a man interested is to make him work for sex. When you were dating was he keen for it then? If you put out for your guy whenever he wants it, he´ll quickly lose interest. If you tease him, get him really excited and play with him, make him beg, he´ll come back for more.

 

I've actually lost weight, I'm pretty sure he's not cheating, and as far as him not liking me anymore I've given him plenty of chances to get out of the relationship. I've offered to go on a break, to try something open, or to break it off all together and be friends. Not in a confrontational way, just an honest "if you don't like me its easier for both of us to get it in the open" sort of way. And he swears that he loves me, he wants no one but me...he just doesn't want to have sex. We talked about it again after his attempt at sex just so I wouldn't be upset, and it sucked. We both knew it, then the next morning he had a wet dream. I asked if he needed masturbate and he got upset and said he didn't "need" to. (Which is a contradiction because he said he need to masturbate or ejaculate from sex to not have wet dreams.) He told me its not about me and I explained to him its hard not for me to feel that way. He jacks off but doesn't want sex. He says he doesn't know why but doesn't feel its important enough to find out what's wrong. I mean are guys that clueless to not understand how that can mess with a girl's self-esteem?

 

cn283 said:

"He jacks off but doesn't want sex. He says he doesn't know why but doesn't feel its important enough to find out what's wrong. I mean are guys that clueless to not understand how that can mess with a girl's self-esteem?"

In my opinion, you've been very patient and gentle about this. Since he appears to be totally clueless, (I don't want to accuse all men of being so!), GIVE HIM THE CLUE! Don't half-step, don't be diplomatic! Tell him how it makes you feel.

Then ask yourself the Dear Abby question: Are you better off with him, or without him?

 

Guys act like they want sooo much sex and it's all that they want it. I am a nympho in my relationships and I wear him the FUCK out. Maybe there's some women out there that are different than me in the way of wanting sex, but in my case it has been men that couldn't keep up!! Sure they love it for a week or a few months or whatever, but in the long run, THEY slow down!!!

So you shut up. and dont call a woman a hoe just cuz she has a bigger sex drive!!! fuckin love it if you love sex as much as most men claim.

 

1) OKay, What she is bitching about is him ONLY fucking off to porn, which is weird, whatever sex you are. I would be pissed too if my BF
masturbated all the time and didn't put out either. So I can understand if a man has a woman, that has some "issue" and doesn't put out. It is the same for us both. Your mistaking me for a woman that highers our opinions more than men type of feminist, and I am not. It would suck for both sides.

Honey don't kid yourself okay please. They got bored with you.

2) Don't judge my man's reasonings b/c basically you do not know. You probably just never had a woman that can out do you!! That can intimate a man...plus you don't know shit about what my man feelings. Your only putting your feelings on him. Ask him and if it's the truth let it be the truth!! otherwise you have nothing on me. (p.s. I know he wouldn't give a fuck what an internet guy said so he'd never talk to you about it, but just get my meaning here, you have no fucking clue why, you can only assume)


"Following your logic, what IS so bad about being a ho? IE, why the fuck should it be an insult?"


3) The term hoe is bad b/c because people say it as a negative. How often do you hear a woman spoken of in a positive light when it comes to her sex life, if it is open and not exclusive. You have society to blame for that. Not me, or you, well maybe you. I wish it wasn't such a bad term.


"What a hypocrite. How many women would be outraged "oh you shallow prick!" "you only use women for sex then, huh?!" if a man was in the same boat and made that decision? God fucken spoiled American women. DOUBLE STANDARD PLX."

4) Not all women. I'm not one of them so I don't understand the others. sorry they suck, nothing I can do about that. BUT, it pisses me off you assume I'm one of them. Why don't you look before you judge?

"Women get mad at men for having bigger sex drives, so why can't men get mad at women for having bigger sex drives?"

5) b/c we're not in kindergarden. Sorry you hang out with sorry women.

 

why are you acting like that? can you tell me? do you really feel the need to tell me that men got bored with me, when you don't even know me, or them? Why? whats the fuckin point? Even If your right will that make your world better?

You seem so set in your ways... it just seems sad. I could be hateful of men for all the shit I've been through, but I let it go and don't judge them just b/c their men. I don't want to say it to be insulting, but you really seem sexists to me

 

I think I've figured out your just trying to get a rise out of me...

I'm not sure if I should get pissed or shake my head.

You must of got some real reasoning out of me... if you are open. But whatever. Can't save the world

 

wow. you just deal with shitty women.

And the princess role is bullshit. I work my fuckin ass off. My boyfriend sucked MY money out. I had a sailboat and I was living off the Florida coast, not to mention a saving's account. Not now. But do I blame him? alittle, but most of the respnosibilty is mine for letting my savings get drained to support a man. But yet I am happy, and we're still together. I could hate him but I don't. I understand he was just unable to fullfill the role that I took over, and that's alright. He can have another role to supplement it.

The way I see it, I do not need a man to support me, but be there emotionally for me, or fuck off. I'm fine on my own, perhaps better, but I love him and would die for him if it was somehow necessary.

The Y chromoshome (in biology, I learned) is shrinking. In a couple hundred years, supposively, there will no longer be men. How this will work I do not know. But old ideas are dying, that is for sure, and men are not evolving at the same pace as women. It seems we're leaving you behind, and I will not weep for you

 

Crystalsatreehugger, Cowboy Blue is a troll. Don't feed the trolls, or they'll hang around. And we really don't want that, do we? Do we?

 

whatever it is I learned it in class. I am no scientist. I am not spiteful to men, just one's like you who try to group me in a category you see fit for females.

I will agree most women seem wicked to me, same as men. Just don't act like you know me, bc if you did you would know I am not like most

 

why don't you go gay if you have such bad impressions of women?

 

keep building yourself up cowboy. lol. your name says it all

 

thanks, I am feeding to much into it.

I had a bad day. I need to study but instead have been trying to distract myself with bullshit. thank you

 

Wow...I would say thank you Cowboy if you weren't insulting me. I've asked him if he's bored and have given him plenty of outs. I don't want to be with someone that's not interested or bored. I'm not speaking for "all the women that don't put out", I'm talking about my specific situation. And if a guy were in my shoes, it would suck for him too. I'm not trying to set a double standard, I'm just trying to get some advice. You can say anything you want, but I just think it's weird your first reaction is to call me a hoe, tell me to get over it, and generalize/bitch about women. I hope you find someone that doesn't fit that stereotype, believe me, we're out there.

Update: We talked this morning, and he said he would see a doctor. He's glad we talked, and now that everything's on the table we can move on.

 

shes talking about a dramatic change from his original behaviour, not that he isnt horny but that he has changed a lot from whent hey originally dated and shes concerned

in other news, a dramatic drop in libido can be a symptom of other things, such as depression or even some forms of cancer... relatively rare for the cancer end but its always good to get abrupt changes in behaviour/wants/etc checked out

 

he suggested the doctor, and according to you I can't be concerned about my boyfriend because "all women blah blah blah"? What the hell?!

 

of course, he couldn't be mature enough to try to solve a problem for the better of the relationship...that's just silly.