do I have a right to be angry?

*shrugs*

I have no patience for men who do not understand my needs/feelings. I make things very clear to people. So if someone disrespects me in a personal way, I don't want them in my space. I'm too stubborn to talk it over sometimes, because I don't want to hear his excuses.

*shrugs*

 

Well that's fine 'cause it's you but it's pretty extreme advice to give to someone after a paragraph of internet explanation regarding one single aspect of their entire relationship.

But we have different advice to give for different reasons, that's fine. *shrugs*

I believe most relationships can be worked on IF the parties involved want to work on it. I also believe that most threads like this are just about getting things off your chest and a little perspective and that people who post them, are trying to find out how to make things work.

But yes, I find exceptions, even in my own scheme and I'll pop out with the dump him phrase if it's Neon sign obvious like 'He hits me, he yells at me everyday and tells me I'm shit. He takes me to crack parties. ' But stuff like this thread - this is just how relationships between people with baggage work. It takes effort, communication and and an understanding that neither of you are perfect and will make mistakes or make each other feel bad from time to time - because we are all human.

 

GOOD FOR YOU!! i applaud your reasonable approach. it's the only way.

 

that's awesome that everything worked out for you guys!
this place is good to vent most of the time...depending on what you're posting, lol. There have been too many times I just wanted another opinion or outlook on a situation we were in and all my reponses would be "dump him." my hubby isn't abusive at all, we just have very different opinions sometimes and I come on here to see if maybe I'm looking at this all the wrong way.

 

I'm glad that things seem to be working out for you Mighty Toenail.. haha cute name btw

just to through my two cents in...
I use to think that there was nothing wrong with porn and all though I left the man I was with it wasn't because he looked at porn but it did have something to do with it.. only in the means that it took part in my own lowered self esteem after having four children and not being able to bounce right back. I was lucky then to have a man that didn't care about seeing other women and I am lucky in my new relationship to have another man that doesn't want to look at other women... my new man loves the way I look but also provides me with enough motivation to help me want to exercise and keep fit. I don't really understand how porn can be such a common area of entertainment for so many people.. I don't mean to sound like a prude but whats so wrong with being wild and kinky with just your partner...

blahh I'm sure my point is completely lost.. blame it on a scattered brain and two munchkins who just decided to NEED mommies attention.. grrr maybe I'll make my way back to this thread at some point to clarify.. =P

 

That is awesome that you took a more sensible and non-explosive emotional approach. A lot of times, women forget that men function in completely different ways emotionally and logically. And then they leave or fly off the handle thinking that the man "doesn't get them" or "doesn't care" when in reality, the guy just didn't realise that what you considered to be an issue was, in fact, an issue.

You did the absolute best thing you could do, and got a great result out of it. Good for you!

 

fudge my clarification

I think you need a pat on the back for not exploding and however you two work it out ... good for you

 

Now that is some sound advice!!! It's always great to wake up & find a shortcut to the porn site on your desktop :ack:

 

Low self esteem happens to the best of us. You seem to have a boyfriend who's a decent guy who just did something without thinking. That happens to the best of us as well. I'm glad you worked it out.

 

Well at least you do have one thing going on good for you... he's just LOOKING at porno, instead of going to strip clubs or screwing other females. So he must love you or he wouldn't be still faithful. I agree that maybe it is the low self esteem that turns him off... not so much you. If he wasn't into you he wouldn't be with you.

 

hmm i can see y ud be upset, all women have their insecurities and this would have made it worse considering the women he looks at are the polar opposite of u, however he is with u in real life, and these women are just fantasies, talk to him and explain how much its hurting u, hopefully he will understand.

but yea u have a rite to be totally pissed off with him hes been totally insensitive

 

Well after being with my husband 9 years, and 4 kids later and having weight issues...I have learned 2 things...

#1. all relationships have a natural ebb and flow, and sometimes there isn't as much action as you expect...etc....

#2. If a guy (or girl for that matter) is recreationally (as in not obsessively) lookin at porn then it's not all about YOU. It's just urges...natural urges as a matter of fact Guys(and girls) like variety.

I think as long as you're still doin the deed often enough to satisfy you both, than what does it matter?

Looking at porn (which is not my thing BTW, I could care less, and truthfully, I always wonder what went wrong with those chicks to make them want to do that) is just looking...not cheating or anything...ya know?

 

Lol, I definitely agree with that. Some of these sites take over your computer if they can! And I don't need penis implants. Really, I don't.