New Poem

Hey I'm new here and i just wanted to get some feedback on some poetry ive been working on. all comments(good or bad ) are very welcome.


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Silence is deafening;
The mid-day is shrouded away
Lost in translation
The lilly floats in the sand

Shaking and stirring
In the hands of the wind
Trees fall like feathers
And breathe like rain

 

Oooooo, thats sweet.

 

"silence is deafening" it sure is!!! good poem man

 

That's a good poem!! Good Job

 

very lyrical I think youll like my poetry I got to work on it though

 

thanks everyone i appriciate it alot. anyone got some critical remarks?

 

Knaw its all good if you write a long one I could critice it better but thats all good there in my opion