Men can no longer win / women's necessary disappointment in the male

I decided this deserved a thread of its own. Here is an illustration (which I've actually heard from the mouths of many a woman) of the fact that men can do no right until gender relations are re-defined from our macho past:

(party situation --- enter female protagonist) : "I like that guy because he is the only one who doesn't try to talk to me, but I couldn't meet 'em because he wouldn't come talk to me!"

Keywords: pigism, wimpiness.

 

Go to a Gloria Steinem rally. You may have more luck there?
PS-I would never talk to any guy who doesn't try to talk to me because it would be apparent they had bad taste d:

 

Who the hell is Gloria Steinem?

P.S. I'm waaaaaaaaaay past the point of trying to get lucky. Believe me.

 

i never mentioned getting lucky. I am more the commited relationship thinker ofer type. I am also drunk, but a not drunk. everything in moderation ya know ?

Gloria Steinem is a huge feminist. Creator of Ms. Magazine.

 

I see. I'll look it up. I'm into the Simone de Beauvoir kind of feminism. Who could blame me!

 

I know you're joking, but I swear sometimes it looks like you're teasing me into saying something about your egocentrism, which you'll then tell me has to do with my angst concerning your 'self-esteem' --- which would then necessitate another public apology. lol~!!!!

WON'T HAPPEN!!!

 

Are you accusing me of provoking? I am too young and naive for that... aren't I now. If I did in any way please rest assured that it was just an innocent mistake.

 

That's a good kind feminism to be into

 

Um, yeah, i dont get that.

I met my boyfriend when he sat next to me in a math class several semesters ago and i asked him a question about a formula.

I think its arrogance when women refuse to talk to men. They think that they are so incredibly attractive that men should be dying to get their phone numbers.

Example: A friend of mine and myself went to a popular club for halloween. She refused to talk to any males that night because she expected them to try to talk to her. I on the other hand talked to anybody and every body (male and female) and wound up getting several phone numbers. She wound up sitting on the curb crying. I havent spoke to her since that night because i was so disgusted by her childish behavior.

I tell my female friends all the time: you cant expect men to be mindreaders. My favorite tactic for talking to someone: "Hi, how are you?" + smile.

 

i dont typically approach people becuase, wlel, im nervous and embarassed. i suck at small talk, awkward at it to say the least. i do not converse well with strangers unless theyre very chatty. thats all

i know im a little high maintenance. i once made a list of behaviours that bother me and, wlel, it was longer than id expected. my boyfriend knows, but we love each other and will make it work. we try to no tannoy each other because everyone has stuff that bothers them, i just recognize some (ie talking with you rmouth full of food or chewing with your mouth open) because ive dated guys who did that and it was atotal turn off :S

i dunno, my guy can get construed as girly by a lot of people. hes average height, long hair, relaly skinny, feels emotion very easily (doesnt cry to easily but, thats his prerogative), loves/cares very easily, etc. hes wonderful, absolutely wonderful.... and i love the long hair

 

but most women aren't as down to Earth as you

the situation the OP describes is correct in 99.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999997999999% of situations
most women are absolutely impossible
they force nice guys into being the typical predatory-type and then reject them anyways

as for the advice to guys part:
you just gotta go out there, predator style, with enough charm, general appeal, and novelty to set you apart

 

I agree with all of your post except for your advice. My advice to guys: None. Stay home and read books. There is something really denigrating about trying to impress women. Hell, they should be impressing me, and they hardly ever do.

And yeah, the female poster is waaaaaaaaaaaay too much of an exception. Women are socialized to be total assholes. But probably just the case with men. The problem is, men who aren't naturally assholes are forced into being assholes as the above poster says.

My advice to women: don't put men in a position where they've got nothing to lose.

 

Yeah, it's veeeery hard to empathize with women of the sort you mention. But I try... Women have been socialized a certain way, and certain kinds of behavior are tied to their internalized ideas of self-worth.

I've also seen quite a few women crying in the curb because they're going home alone.

A smile and a show of interest is most definitely a turn on.

 

that too

what I should have said is 'my advice to guys who just can't wait'
but personally I believe that the best relationships are the ones that just happen

 

In our cultural context, yeah, the best relationships are flukes. In a context without as many gender conundrums, quandaries, and double-negatives, it would be possible for men and women to pursue without having to give up one's dignity.

P.S. I don't know how much of the quandaries are dictated by biology and existential factors, as opposed to simply socio-cultural factors.

 

Another possibility for the single heterosexual male (other than staying home reading books, or playing some passive-agressive game laden with gender roles) is to go to a prostitute.


Even though I'm aware of the social taboos and superstitions sorrounding prostitution, I believe it to be a sensible course of action to the single heterosexual male caught in the quandary.

When you think about it, in order for single heterosexual males to have sex (aside from the relationship idyll that takes place perhaps once every two years and lasts for 3 months), they necessarily have to undergo much effort and financial expenditure.

In fact, I think single heterosexual males who routinely engage in nightlife activities in order to access the female, would save much money and have more sex if they simply went to prostitutes.

 

Maybe so

But what about the empty feeling
it left behind ....

Or the fact that your sex partner
may be thinking of something/
someone else...

Wont kiss you...

Takes your money for something
that ought to be free and given
with love...

Wouldnt it be better to have sex
with yourself...at least then, there
would be some love involved..

Hopefully?

 

There are obvious problems with prostitution, I in no way wish to make those obscure.

The problem is, masturbation has serious limitations...

In my case, my consciousness is almost popping out of my skin, it wants to get away from the pain of my body in its celibate diet. My body has no affectionate function, it no longer communicates, it no longer touches...

In extreme cases like mine, I'd say a prostitute is the least of harms. It is none other than the real politik of the libido. What has to be done, has to be done. In the desperate situation heterosexual males of medium and lower income find themselves in, idealism has no place. Shoulds and ought tos are open wounds.

However, I have a taste for making things difficult on myself. I get discouraged easily...the phone, bargaining for rates, incall/outcall, the preoccupation with the legality, etc.

I shall die from my stuborness one day. They'll find my body a week later due to the stench.

 

There are obvious problems with prostitution, I in no way wish to make those obscure.

The problem is, masturbation has serious limitations...

In my case, my consciousness is almost popping out of my skin, it wants to get away from the pain of my body in its celibate opression. My body has no affectionate function, it no longer communicates, it no longer touches...

In extreme cases like mine, I'd say a prostitute is the least of harms. It is none other than the real politik of the libido. What has to be done, has to be done. In the desperate situation heterosexual males of medium and lower income find themselves in, idealism has no place. Shoulds and ought tos are open wounds.

However, I have a taste for making things difficult on myself. I get discouraged easily...the phone, bargaining for rates, incall/outcall, the preoccupation with the legality, etc.

I shall die from my stubborness one day. They'll find my body a week later due to the stench. But it'll be a happy death. One with dignity and revolt at least.

 

Dignity????

Are you not able to find a woman
who maybe is in an unsatisfying
marriage and would be looking for
a lover...

This would probably satisfy both
hers and your needs?

Have you investigated the possibilites?