this is a tricky one, very complicated. and i am way to involved to be able to see it for what it really is. i dont know what to do, i hardly even know what to feel. so... i will write everything down... and can someone please help? okay. when i was 14, i met this boy. we started dating when i was 15. we were madly in love and dated for 2 years, we broke up about 8 months ago. i turned 18 in january. since we met we have been best friends. and since we have broken up we have remained best friends. i cannot imagine life without him somewhere in it. anyways... we broke up because our relationship had turned into a married couple type on and we were fighting and not respecting each other. it took us a couple of weeks/months to get back into a stable mental state. after this we started casually having sex. at first it was very "loving" and we spent a good couple of months casually making love maybe once a week or fortnight. on this night we would tell each other how much we missed each other and how much we were still in lvoe. as time went on, the sex was less loving and more like sex. we started to fall out of love. now, i dont know what is going on. see.... i think i am over him. i cannot stand to be around him for long periods of time and i dont want a relationship with him anymore... but on the other hand. i find it difficult to imagine life with someone else. he knows me and understands me possibly better than i do myself. but he treats me like shit sometimes. he doesnt respect me and knows that he can be a wanker and i will always forgive him. i hate that he knows this but its true. i am getting better though, i dont let him walk all over me as much. this makes me think i am more over him than i think. i have a major crush on a gorgeous guy but i dont know if he likes me back. ... i always thought that i was going to marry my ex and my life was going to be perfect. i dont think about my ex nearly as much as i used to and i dont imagine me with him anymore. but i love to be around him and i dont want him to be dating anyone else. it hurts when he likes someone else (which he does) someone... please... i am almost compeltely worn out with trying to deal with this unhealthy relationship. i wish i could work it out by myself... but i have gotten too far down. sorry... please advice? any is welcome.
Hey there I understand what you are going through I went through it several years ago with my hubby. We were bestfriends first, then we started dating and things were fine for along time. Then I graduate and he had a year still to go, I got a 60 hour a week job and he had high school and a part time job. We made a deal since his mom said I couldn't stay past 11 on week nights that we would just both make sure we didn't work weekend and would spend time together then. I got a beyyer job and kept the old one part time at nights so basically same hours well his mom started planning his weekends for him and he got pissed because I would not change my work schedule to be more conventent for him and his mom so we broke up. A week later he was with his ex I was smashed to say the least becvause I loved him more then anything else in my little world. I decided at that pint it was time to move on if it was ment to be it would come full circle and he would be back. We were aprt for 8 mo. I haoppened to run into him after he graduated up at the school when I went to visit an old teacher. We talked just a little and left it at that later that day I ran into him at a friends house when I went to drop something off he looked upset and was a mess. I asked our friens what was wrong and he said theat he didn't know he had been that way for a few hours, so I bit the bullet and told him if he ever needed to talk I was there just to get my number from our friend. Well he called that night and I went down to his work to talk to him he told me what happened with his ex andthat the had broke up and i told him all that had gone on with me. Well he told me of his living situation which was aweful so I offered for him to catch some sleep at my place since I would be gone all day. I still trusted him no matter what and it hurt to see the mess he was in as far awhere he was staying. Well 8 years later and he is sill here we have been married for 4 yeras I will noy say it has been the easiest 8 years it hasn't been but I still love him more then life its self. So my point of all this is let him go it will hurt for a while but move on both of you see other people stay friends as much as possible and if it is ment to be you all will end up together if not it wasn't meant to be. Good luck sweetie {{{hugs}}}
You can heal but you got to quit opening the wound. Don't talk to him, don't sleep with him. Stay away and you will find yourself thinking about him less and less. It doesn't sound like he respects you and you need to start respecting yourself.
i have told him that we arnt gonna casually fooled around anymore. he agreed that it was unhealthy and too much to deal with. i have so much going on... i just... cant work out if i still love him or not. i want to move on... but i wonder if there is a small part of me that wont let go... does anyone have a good way of working that stuff out?
Date new people! Hang out with new people that are not both of your friends! I had to cut myself off from a lot to move on when me and my Hubby split. I had my own set of friends so I hung out with them more. I kept a littlecontact with his brother just to be sure he was ok with out having to interact with him hardly at all. Found out later he was having his brother keep tabs on me to just so he could know that I was ok. Oh one big NO NO if you have stuff at his place do not wait 3 mos. to go get it and do not havethe new BF in the car when you go the ex tends to go from being happy to see you and wanting to talk to not so nice we will say. Apparently he was going to ask me to try again then but the he saw the latest BF and was to pissed off because his brother didn't tell him I was dating someone. Though I took a bad rought on dating no one lasted over a month. That is why the brother never mentioned it figured I would smoke the guy before long anyways. You really have to make your self move on to get back to that friedn level me and my Hubby had to really work through alot when we got back together the worst I indured was having to tell him about who I dated and who I had actually slept with and listening to him do the same. I would of just asoon left it unsaid but he wanted all cards on the table. I think he regretted it after the fact because mis sweet and inocent had a wild streak a mile wide for a bit. He has met acouple o the people I dated and they are friends I keep any talk about that time in our lives at adistance though no since diiging up dead stuff from the past you know? So as I said before Iwent on and on sorry by the way. Try dating someone new that he doesn't know but that you like. You know like the guy you mentioned earlier. If you don't handle that he is seeing someone new very well you may need to seperate yourself from them for a bit,
there aint any right or wrong answers to the question honey just be patient and time is a great heeler
arg... i am such a fucking pushover. i told him i still loved him and he told me he still loved me and i beleived him. now he is fucking round with my emotions and doesnt respect me. i dont know what to do? i feel i should cut him out of my life. but sometimes he is such a good friend. and the only best friend i have in this life. (besides the internet)
Well sometimes you have to start from zerro. Make new friends, don't hang on the internet so much, go live a life. And if you want him to be your frined, keep him as friend, but don't cross the line of friendship.
There is an obvious issue of dependency here. Dependency is not love. What's wrong with taking some time off? Exploring relationships with other people. If you guys have that much in common, a little time off wouldn't hurt the friendship.
This is too weird, it sounds very similar to what I have experienced, I'll tell you my story sorry if its long!!; We started dating when we were 15 and we were together for 3 years, he was living at mine and we spent everyday constantly with each other, we just ended up like a married couple in the end. I ended up losing my friends, we got on each others nerves, I had been thinking about splitting up for ages, but getting the courage in doing so especially without any friends was the hardest thing ever, the only thing that kept me going was that I was going to university in about 5 months time. I couldnt stand being with him, but when I said it was over and he left, I was so unsure. We spoke on the phone and I said I still havent made my mind up, I knew him like my arm, and he was more of a friend than anything, and thats what I was scared of losing, but we couldnt JUST BE friends. I started going out with one of the students living in my house and got to make a few new friends, which led to that all exciting feeling of being single, and fancying people all over again, getting numbers and having that feeling that u are a catch and people want u! I never phoned my ex up again, he knew it was over. Then I started univeristy and made tons of friends, I found a confidence I never knew I could get! I felt strong and independant! The best thing I EVER have done in my life was split up with him, it went on for too long, and I feel I have wasted some of my teenage years with him. There is sooooo much out there, so many people to meet, you are an attractive girl and could get anyone! Try to get over that feeling that you want to get back with him, to me I think you want to leave him but you need to find that strength, its so hard, and getting back with him is just the easy way out, things get alot easier next time round, it just takes a little time to get over, but you will do TRUST ME! You need to get out and make some new friends, through work or travelling or anything else u can think of, meeting new people will definetely help! You become that attached to someone, and you cant see your life any differently without them, it really is the hardest thing EVER! But it CAN be done! lol such a cliche, but if I can do it, anyone can do it! Hope some of that helped, goodluck and let us know how you got on! Winehouse x
well, i dont know if you wanted a guys approach on this, but switch around the sexes, and you have my siutation. highly similar to yours, in the seeing each other for 2 years bit n broke up cos we were actually just argueing over petty things. minus the casual sex thing though, didnt think i could handle that...i'd have taken it in a emotional way. but aye, my ex fucks around with my head loads. one minute she's vibing me, that she likes me, the next she doesnt, the next i tell her how i feel, n she doesnt give me an answer (which i needed). i thought to myself "shit man, i really fuckin care for her, n i still do, but i aint gonna just stand and wait any longer"...n now im kinda dating someone else, im buzzin. its all a new thing to me. it feels great. so yeah, best advice i can say is to get out n meet someone else. dont look for a long term thing, just take it easy n see how it flows. im finding it a liberating feeling tbh.
you all have been such great help. i have been trying to move on. its really hard. see i took a couple of days away from him. and then we hung out for a bit and i fell straight back in love with him. we have such an amazing connection that its hard to just push that away. i will try my best though. try even harder after reading all your wonderful advice <3
