She always makes me gain&lose confidence

Ok Ive been trying to approach this girl who happens to goto this tutoring center right beside where I work. First of all, she is EXTREMELY shy, and I mean EXTREMELY. The way she walks just shows me that she is SHY. When she is walking by herself, she doesn't even look around, she just looks straight ahead, or on the ground. She is very shy to people she doesn't know, but can be outgoing with people she knows.

Anyways, I saw her one day and managed to say "Hi". She smiled at me and said a soft "hi" back. That's all we did. Then a week later, I saw her again and I smiled at her, and she smiled back. This was all because I have this friend that is also her friend, and this friend kind of "introduced" me to her (There's no way I can this friend to get to know her more). Anyways, I guess the only reason she said Hi or even smiled back at me was because my female friend introduced her to me literally. If she was by herself and she saw me, she would either look away or look down on the ground until I said "HI" first. Anyways, just today during passing period at my high school, I was standing in the middle of an open area where like thousands of people come and go. My friend starts telling me he spotted the girl I like, and then I tried to look around as well but couldnt find her. All of a sudden, her and one of her girl friend came RIGHT directly at me and passed me. She didn't even look at me, and just pretended I was air. I didnt notice her as well and when I did and wanted to say HI, I thought "Man fuck this".

So after school I saw her again hanging around with my female friend and just chatting and stuff. As I passed her, our eyes caught and I just kinda semi-smiled and I just passed her without even doing anything else ...

Anyone seen this kind of girl before? How should I go about?

 

Heh, well, I think I'm probably that kind of girl. I tend to intimidate the hell out of guys because of it. Most social situations make me very uncomfortable and I can't seem to convince myself otherwise. I'm more of an observer and I think that's probably what you're dealing with so I'll try my hand at giving you advice.

I think in this situation you just have to bite the bullet and hope she's interested in knowing you better because by her actions it's so difficult to tell either way. Maybe ask a friend of her's if she might possibly be interested? Ask around, find out of you're her type. Start a conversation with her somehow.. stop and ask her about her day, her classes.. whatever.. try to find some common ground. Get her to start talking somehow and then ask her out. That's the only advice I have for you.

G'luck, dear.

 

Yeah Im going to do the initiative and talk to her. My friend's been telling me that shy girls like to be lead and not be the ones leading. Just that I need some confidence because it's really hard to open up to her when I am shy as well, and I see no signs of her wanting to talk.

 

your not showing alotta signs of wanting to talk either
its entirely possible your almost identicle souls thinking identicle thoughts & feelinig identicle feelings

 

oh man....that's reminds me of my own story...only about a guy...

but ya know...you should try...the fact she didnt say "hello" again or look at you doesnt mean she ignores you

i think she's just to shy and waits for you to start a conversation or smth
why not come up to her one day when she's alone or with this female friend ya know and talk to her cheerfully and friendly?

it should work!!!

 

Ill try to be cheerful. It just sucks because when she is alone she seems unhappy and stuff and when I see her like that I just feel torn down and stuff. Some say the way she's acting is because she has low self-esteem, but I cannot quite agree with the peron that said this. I mean, she still cares about the way she looks; she dresses up, puts on make-up, does her hair, etc. If she did have low self-esteem, wouldn't she not give a damn at all?

to: soaringeagle: Yeah I totally feel that we are a lot similar, our personality and our behavior. I know that I would do the same thing she did (ignoring me) if I did see her. I would even avoid her if I had to just so she wouldnt notice me. But I am beginning to change the way I act because I found out that shy and shy does not mix well together.

 

Yeah, you should definitely try.
Maybe at one of these when-she's-alone-and-seems-unhappy-and-stuff times just go to her and ask her why is she looking so sad & smthn like that. If that's not going so well at the first time - keep trying.
And who knows, maybe she's trying but the fault is in her shyness? If that's it - you would really help her with doing ‘first steps’.

 

umm well losw self esteem may come in many forms & makeup hairspray & fancy clothes may just be her way of hidding or trying to change how she feels she is ..
ya ever think that not caring how she looks would translate to being happy with her looks...& caring too much about how she looks...paying too muvch attention to hair..makeup ..really shows that shes not so happy with her true self?

funny that you think oh she must be happy cause she wears makeup..lol