love, yes.. marriage?

I don't think a piece of paper should mark your love, but I do agree with marriage. In a regular relationship, even if you've been together for 10 years, living together and everything, the person can get up and leave whenever they want. Seriously, marriage tends to encourage the people to try and work it out.

 

Marriage is TOTALLY worth it! But do realize a couple of things:


-Make sure you both know who you are as INDIVIDUALS.
-NEVER think that the other is going to change once you get married. You are who you are, accept it or deal with it.
-Make sure you are both happy and well-adjusted individuals. If you have issues you can't deal with, marriage is not going to change that.
-Make the committment for life, don't accept divorce as an inevitablity.
-Just because you lived together doesn't mean you should marry, marrige is a TOTALLY DIFFERENT BALL GAME from living together.
-Make sure you are both on the same page about raising children, career, ect.
-Remember that every decision you make, even as small as what you eat for lunch affects your spouse.
-Make major decisions TOGETHER and only if you are both happy with it.
-Never hold a grudge against your spouse, you are both human and will make mistakes. Learn the art of forgiveness.

 

Good list, Earthy!

Only one thing I disagree with

You did say major decisions. But on occasion, one or the other will have priority on even major decions. Depending on what they are.

But so much of what you said is SO true. The biggest relationship breaker, IMO, when one wants kids and one doesn't. There is NO winning in this situation. You have kids, and the one who didn't want them is resentful of the partner and the children, you don't have kids, and the one who wanted them is really resentful, especially if it is a womyn and she misses her fertility window. It is even something marriage counselors agree is an issue which can rarely be resolved. Don't ever marry someone who feels differently about kids than you do, you won't change their minds, and you will either end up being resentful or living with a very resentful person!

 

i have been with my husband for 8 years and we will have been married 3 years this May 12th. we have had our ups and downs but we have torn through it. we just went lept a huge hurdle these past 6 months when my bipolar disorder was at its peak. but he was there every step of the way and supportive though i knew he was stressed. i love him always and always and am glad i got married. its a choice and a chance. my parents divorced when i was 9 but i did not let their descion influence me. they had their life and i have my life. i am lady neko not them. you are you and not your parents. love on and marry if you wish.

 

Naw, I'm not religious...I don't care for marriage.
Plus, the state just makes more off you during your taxes...

Why do we need to get married?
It's not an idea you're born with...it's completely man-made.
I think it's just a way of ppl making sure their partner is stuck with them...
I think it'd be a bigger test of love if you can stay together without a written contract.

 

My old cat's name was neko...
and I love chobits btw...lol

"Pervert! Pervert! Hideki is a pervert!"

 

While I am for marriage (being engaged myself), I always cringe whenever I hear/read the phrase "the right person".

First of all, it puts all the focus on the other person. Who is the right person for me? Who is the person who will make me happy? But does anybody ask "Am I the right person for my lover?"

Second, I believe that marriage is not so much about committing to the "right person" but committing to loving and accepting each other according to the vows of matrimony: "For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part". These vows are not to be made at the altar only, but every moment of our lives thereafter. Love, after all, takes work.

Of course, we need to be sensible in our choice. We need to know that we both love each other and believe in each other enough to make that lifetime commitment.

 

I love being married. My husband and I have been through a lot together and I know will go through much more. The vows are forever, as well they should be. But keep in mind, the roses and wine won't be for every second of every day. I am happy and content. My husband and I are right for each other. What has me worried about what you said is that he says that being married freaks him out. If this is true, then getting married may not be such a good idea. When you do go through with it neither person should have doubts. I don't think it's a "typical male" reaction because my husband had no qualms about it and I know other men who didn't either. I think it's more of an individual-specific situation. Keep in mind that you don't have to be married to be together always. If he is fine with being in a committed relationship minus the ceremony, why not?

 

i dunno
it's a personal choice
you must think over all advantages and disadvantages and dexide what is better for YOU
i dont like the idea of getting married
i'd prefer to live together
there's no real difference

 

your sig is crazy! I love it!!

I never believed in marriage, coming from divorced parents didnt really make me NOT believe in it, it was just my personal opinion that you dont need to be married to express your love and commitment. but now that i think ive found the one, ive changed my mind. i want to get hitched, have kids, the whole shebang.

i always wanted the ceremony, but not necessarily the legalities behind it. and i'll NEVER get married in a church. fuck that.

 

If I ever got married it would be without the legal bindings...barefoot...in a forest...with friends and family...at night, surrounded by candles... ^_^

 

lol! i watched it last night! lol! i named my kitten who turned one last saturday so i guess she is not a kitten anymore Sumomo. I was going to name her Kirara from inuyasha but when we were bringing her home she popped out of the box like she was saying "Congratulations!" in the first episode. lol!


In other news my hubby and i got married at the court. he is athiest and i am pagan. we respect each and thought it was easier. plus it was for financhial reasons so i could recieve for aid for college. but otherwise i would not have married. we would have just been shacked up together. i know we would be together always. but as a writer who hopes to publish one day he has one cool last name. my "maiden" name was basically like "smith." very ordinary and it was cheaper to change it thru marriage. lol!

 

I never even considered getting legally married, it just didn't go along with our lifestyle, and neither of us were very legal about anything. We didn't pay taxes, didn't have birth certificates with five children, no identification for 25 years.

We never had a ceremony, and somehow that wasn't even important to me. No rings either. We just moved in together when it didn't make any sense to live apart. We started having children 2 months after we met. (got pregnant)
We have been through everything together, and have kept working on our relationship constantly, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part. I have no desire to do anything else.

I am more in love now than ever, and have seen how love can grow and change after many very committed years with one partner.

 

I would like to get married someday, dont much care about the paper but standing up before kindred and proclaiming your intent seems like a good idea. not only to the one you making a commitment to, but anyone who would otherwise interfere or not accept your lover as family

 

i know how you feel, i have been there. but with all these divorces occuring, you can't help but think is it worth it? love is a funny thing, but how long can it really last? for the longest time, especially in high school, i couldn't wait to get marry and have kids. but now i'm 22 and now a nanny, i'm more than willing to wait, if anything just to be with someone for a long time. dont rush it all, if its meant to be, then why need to rush you know?! everything nowadays is always rush rush rush.. just sit back and enjoy what you have =)

 

true marriage is a welcoming thaught. but do you really need a peice of paper to proove your love? dont you do that each day that you see him?

 

I'm getting married not because I want/need the piece of paper to prove my love, but because I want to spend the rest of my life with her. The piece of paper is just for formality's sake. As far as I'm concerned, she became my wife the moment I proposed to her and she said "Yes" Some people want the formality, others don't.

 

maybe its the fact that im young and havent been in love yet...lust yes. love, no