Sigh... Am I gay?

you can't deny yourself of who you are...

what is it that makes you want to be straight so badly?

 

The reason is that I want to be married and have my own children one day. beside i can always try to work on it.. i dont really know much beside that but i dont really want to live that kind of lifestyle.. and it could work out eventually, i mean no one is 100% straight or 100% gay... everyone has around at least ~25% of attraction to same/other gender...

also i dont know if its hard to me to accept the fact that i'll be gay or the fact i'll have to live my life like that being forced to only be able to have a relationship with a man or not at all.

well also about having a relationship without having any sexual activites would be just a friendship... well i dont know. sure i have my fantasies and what not but im honsetly not that interested in having sex with a man or a woman right now so i dont know..

 

You can be gay and still get married. And have your own children, for that matter.

 

Somoene told me once that when you have a healthy sex life, sex isnt important. When you arent getting any it makes up 90%

In my experience its absolutly true. There was nothing more devistating than having the person you love push you away every night.
I'd ask him," are you mad at me?"
he'd say "No"
"Do you not find me attractive?"
"No honey, you are beautiful"
"Then why dont you want me?"
"I dont know. I just dont right now"

Now, try living like that for 4 years. It crushes your self esteem and makes you feel like the most un-lovable, unwanted person in the universe.

Besides, even if you did have sex with her every damn night, she would know. I knew after awhile. When we did have sex (like, once every 5 months) he stared at the wall above me or else made me lay on my stomach so he didnt have to look at me. He didnt touch me in a way that indicated that he was interested.

That said, there is nothing wrong with you, or your brain. Also, you said you dont want a gay relationship... Why does the idea bother you? From a communication perspective, same sex relationships are great because there isnt the gender communication barrier.

 

If you like someone, just like them.

If you love someone, just love them.

If you end up falling in love with a girl, it wont be because she's a girl. It'll be because you genuinely love her emotionaly and all that hooha.

It'll be the same if you fall in love with a guy.

 

exactly

 

Some like tacos
Some like burritos
Some like both
Find out what YOU like
And get busy

In a world filled with hatred
how can 2 people loving one another,be it love or lust be a bad thing?
Remember.MAKE LOVE NOT WAR.........

 

it's obvious you have some kind of internal conflict. i don't think it has anything to do with your sexuality per se. you say you're physically attracted to males but not females -- that's freely admitting you're gay. if you had a problem with being gay you wouldn't be able to admit it like that. you'd have some doubt and you'd have denial.

you say you haven't connected emotionally with guys --- here's a newsflash: just because you like men doesn't mean u can and have to connect with every guy on a deeper level. it's not possible. i didn't meet a guy i connected with like that till i was 22. before that it was just sex or a relationship built mostly around sex.

your problem isn't about being gay it's something else that's bothering you. maybe it's wanting kids like you said, maybe it's something altogether different. you gotta figure out what it is then you can come up with a solution. as far as the children go you have 2 choices:
1. you decide in favor of having kids and marrying a woman. likely consequence: sex with your wife is unpleasant and uncomfortable for both of you. the part of you that wants men is left unfulfilled and you may seek extramarital sexual relations with other guys. you will live with guilt and/or repressed desires all your life.
2. you find a guy you want to be with. likely consequence: you can't have kids (and if you really value that you just have to learn to accept it), but there is a possibility of adoption. you'll more likely be happy living with someone you're attracted to, even if u can't have kids.

i'm sorry you can't be in two places at once. none of us can have two lives. you gotta make the best of what you have.

 

Savage thread necrophilia. Why bring up a 2-year-old dead thread?