i just kinda hate absolutely everyone

that's sorta the whole deal. unless i don't.

 

cheer up emo kid, it will be ok!

 

But.. you're thirty.

 

i'm not emo, either. i've graduated to bitter.

 

i think i will spend today blowing raspberries at people and flicking boogers at them.

 

I recommend suicide.

 

I reccomend a couple drinks, a nice cigar, and a Mexican friend to talk to.

 

everyone needs a mexican friend....

 

you always recommend suicide...

can't you be more creative? offer up new and interesting ways of committing suicide and deliver it in haiku form?

 

i do that every night!!!! sancho is the only person i love.

 

Power to the people.

 

I haven't recommended suicide in a long while, I thought it was appropriate.

I can also recommend ritual harakiri.

 

Yeah, I thought it'd been awhile, for that one.

 

hey, on the whole bike thing, i really hate people riding their fucking bikes doing stupid and illegal shit. if they want in traffic, they aughtta obey the fucking traffic laws. none of this running stopsigns and stoplights bullshit, none of this hauling ass the wrong way up the fucking street (that gets you hit by a car that isn't looking for you). and if someone is pulled up to the curb getting ready to make a fucking right turn, DON'T PULL UP NEXT TO THEM ON THE RIGHT! pass it on. i've got all kinds of friends who only ride their bikes around town, and that's fucking cool. this town has the best damned bike access i've ever seen. but there's a lot of these fucking morons peddling around giving the law abiders a real bad name. they're getting hit, they're getting run over, they're fucking up the flow of traffic and causing accidents. it's really infuriating. i suppose we could start legislating who can ride bikes since it's becoming such a big deal. you'll have to pass a test, get a license, register your vehicle, get plates, insurance, all that. after all, we're sharing the road.

 

that's just suicide with prettier equipment and tea.

 

I run stoplights on my bike, but that's only because I'm a badass.

 

And honour!

Do you wish to die like capitalistic American swine, or like Master Splinter?

Ha? Yes? Yes!

 

hey, the capalist pig high dive is incredibly meaningful. mostly to the cleanup people, though.

 

I like it when they land on cars.

Or sidewalk drawings.

Or children.

 

i prefer them to impact for a height greater than 20 stories. otherwise it just doesn't get the proper spread.