Sigh... Am I gay?

Ok well, I'm 17 and male.
I am more attracted to males physically then females, I don't really know why. But the thing is, I don't want to be gay. I want to be straight and live my life with a woman and have children one day. I don't really find the female posture sexually attractive but I do think they are very beautiful and that it doesn't matter as much as the personality. I never had any experiences where I have emotionally been connected with any males but I have found some females that I have alot in common with. Can I live a perfectly fine straight life even if I think males are more attractive then girls? Is something wrong with me?

Also this is the first time I ever talked about these feelings because I don't want to be this way but I'm to emberassed to talk about this with anyone that knows me.

 

Don't try to conform to what society feels is "accepted" If you feel you're gay then so be it, you probably are. Bask in the glory that you'll have more female friends than the straightest guy. I'm not gay, but you'll br all right... as long as you don't live in the South...

 

yeah but the thing is, i dont want to be. people say that homosexuality isnt biological, well if it isn't why am i this way? shouldn't i be able to change it if i want to? I would like to have a family one day with kids and not be lonely or with another man really... its somewhat the society that makes me wanna go against it but its also the fact that i dont want to be that way either way. i cant really help the fact that i feel attracted to the way men look

 

Maybe you're just bisexual. Why not enjoy the best of both worlds?

 

well the thing is im not really interested THAT much in sex.. hence i am still a virgin. the thing is i am attracted to men more then women physically but more attracted to women emotionally and rather be with a woman then a man... so what does that mean?

 

I think that you just need to give it time. What is the general feeling toward gay people where you live? My parents have always been fine with gay people and therefore, I never felt pressured into being straight. If you do live in a very homophobic area, you may not want to be gay because of the impact it will have on your life. Maybe someone has better advice, but I say just give it time - you WILL become more sure of yourself as time goes on. I'm sure many other gay people will agree.

I think your above statement is just reinforcing your confusedness. Maybe you will change and prefer just guys or girls. Even though I am gay, when I was younger I did have crushes on a couple of girls. Seems strange, but like Lodog said, it only seems so because of what society labels as being abnormal.

 

I agree on giving it time. Perhaps you are just what you are and that's perfectly okay. I used to worry a lot about labels too, am I gay? straight? bi? And I found that when I just decided to be me and not worry about that, things just fell into place.
Best of luck to you.

 

i agree. give it some space and don't worry about it.

 

Do you get off on guys? I'm curious as to how much this attraction to males extends.

If you are attracted to menand want to ignore it, then do it. There is nothing that will change who you are. You can ignore it or dismiss it, however, yo don't want to regret never exploring that side of you, you know?

I would just wait it out. No need to rush into anything or put a label on yourself. Just be who you are.

 

Well... kinda, but the thing is its sort of like a guilty pleasure I guess.. it's something I enjoy but really rather not do or have anything to do with. It kind of feels like why did this have to happen to me? I honestly don't want to be like this, my community is 100% ok with gays, my parents aren't against gays, even I'm not against gay. But the thing is it's like 2 sides of my mind straggling, I really don't want this but I can't help it but feel that way. If I could get rid of that part of my mind I feel like I would be much happier becuase I just don't see myself nor want to see myself having any sexual activites with other males :/

Long story short:
I think I'm gay, but I don't want to be gay.

 

Your situation sounds a lot like my situation about a year ago. I didn't want to be gay, I tried thinking of numerous reasons to prove that I wasn't gay. But nothing changed. I'm attracted to guys, and that's that. I tried having relationships with some girls, and they ended up being friendships, except we kissed. It was really weird.

Go with your gut. If your gut is telling you that you're gay, then you're gay. Whether you want to be gay is irrelevant, which is really hard for a lot of people. It was pretty hard for me to deal with, but I got used to it.

Trust me, it's not that bad.

Think it over, give it some time.

 

I know its probably not possible to change the way I feel, but the thing is I don't want to live like that... I rather ignore the way I feel, but the question is if I can live a normal life even if I will be with a woman one day? Will it be considered bisexual or just a gay guy with a woman?

 

can i offer a word of advice?

Please please please! if you are attracted to men, be with a man. If you get involved with a woman you will make her miserable in the long run

My ex-husband was gay and I'll love him forever but i cant forgive him for the deception and the emotional pain he caused. You have no idea what its like to only have a superficial marriage. It is the most gut wrenching agony you can possibly imagine.

 

sigh.. i don't really know what to do, the way everyone is saying this it seems like its forced upon me, i have to live the rest of my life like this. what if i dont want to? i cant have a happy life unless im with another guy? i dont connect with guys emotionally and i dont really think i even want to connect to them that way.. i mean cant i be with a woman but sure there will be sex but the relationship wont revolve around sex, cant that be possible. i feel like my brain is defective or something for feeling attracted to men, i really dont want to. cant it be sort of like math and english? like the left and right side of the brain work differently and usually one is more dominant, however you can work the other part of the brain to be good at the subject. can't i get myself to be more attracted to women? i mean i do find some parts of the women attractive but i guess not as much as a male? personally i rather be asexual then homosexual... =/

 

You're going through some rough shit I see... About two years ago I could put myself in a similar position as you are in now. At that age I seemed to get more and more attracted to other males (physically). I thought I was going gay, worried about it all the time, then I just accepted it. However, my attractions changed again (I was always attracted to females more often) and I became more attracted to females and that has been constant for about two years now. So you never know what happens, unless you have always prefered the same sex?

I'm still attracted to my same sex, of 10 people I'm attracted to, 1 of them is of the same sex, the rest the opposite.

It could change again in the future, some people are fluid. Think back, how were your preferences in the past?

 

well umm... i have been attracted to a few females but i dont really think it was in a sexual way... but with guys i can be like he is hot or something but i would have no sexual or emotional connection with them

 

Put it this way, when you masturbate (if you do), what do you think about?

 

well i watch regular porn so i just think about the whole thing.. nothing in specific really. but i dont find lesbian porn attractive.

 

I would give it more time if I were you... I can't say what you are and what you aren't. You can try being with a woman, without the sexual interest involved it will most likely turn out to be friendship.

 

you don;t know if you can be emotionally attracted to a man until you get to know him. love the person, not the gender