FtM Looking For Help (this might be long)

Hey, i'm Vincent Hall (known as Rachelle Hall by family and friends).

I'm 14 years old, and i'm totally convinced i am a man. I was born female, yet i do not abide by those terms. Since i was little, i've been a tomboy and hanging out with guys.

I gave in to peer pressure in 6th grade as i enterred middle school, and therefore was forced to be more femine. I hate that. Now in 9th grade, i want to come out and tell everyone i am male.

Since i grew them, i've allways tried to destroy my boobs. Right now even, i'm wearing a makeshift binder made out of a bedsheet and duct tape (which works okay, but i still have an odd shaped chest). I never use a pcker, mostly because i wear such baggy clothing that no one would notice.

I need some advice. I mean, i want to tell my parents, but i don't know how. They aren't the most understanding people on the globe. They were both bikers "back in the day". Everytime i tried to tell them about something, they'd explode. Once while trying to be masculine, i cut my own hair. My parents grounded me.

I need help on telling them. Please help!!

 

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Hi. I have been in your position. Tried living as my peers were, (normal women) for less than a year when I was younger then gave up. There was always something different about me. Then I came across the term transsexual, and knew shit, that's me. The whole coming out and transitioning was hell, but its worth it if you are truely male underneath it all. My advice, google "coming out as trans" and you'll find some great coming out letters for parents. Also, susans.org is a great transgender/androgynous/crossdresser/transsexual forum which has helped me greatly. I am zombiesarepeaceful on there. Feel free to pm me anytime here, or there. good luck with whatever you choose. Remember it's your life and although you will go through hell at some point..its worth it. I finally got to the point where my gender dysphoria was so severe that it was transition or commit suicide :\ Its hard man, but you do have people who have gone through the same and we are here for you

Matt

 

Guh, I'm so in your position right now, Vincent. ;>< I'm Jei, but known as Jill by my family and friends. The only people I've come out to are... hell, 3 people. Two of them are like "oh, it's a phase" <-- but with that I have to say, no, it's not a phase because I've been dealing with it my whole life. Not only have I been attracted to girls, but I always take the predominantly male half of the relationship. Not to say I'm butch or anything, because I'm actually kinda feminine... ; but that's beside the point.

I think the hardest part about coming out - and I can't say much, since I haven't done it myself - is trying to think of a way to tell your parents, so that they understand. I mean, like, putting it... delicately, and in words that they understand.

My father, for instance, can hardly grip on the fact that all of the women in this house have severe mental disorders. Mom is bi-polar/ADHD, sister has brain tumors that give her anxiety, my other sister is bi-polar/ADHD, and me? I'm bi-polar, ADD, and schizophrenic. And my dad, he's such a down to earth person, he's the guy that says "Oh, that'll never happen to my family" and then wehen it does? He loses it. It's almost like no matter what we do, he just can't comprehend anything that's not the typical 'norm'. Plus, the way he's been raised.... oi, it sucks. -Eye roll.- You say your parents were bikers? Hm... my dad was like, the all-around high-school jock that beat up geeks like me = =''' xD;; That sucks.

So really, think hard about what you're going to tell them. I'm going to tell my mom first, so that she can be there to help me when I go to talk to dad. The sister that I'm closest to is in Spain, currently, and i can't talk to her so I have to rely solely on my mom. And though she's an open-minded person, she has her limits, even when it comes to gays/lesbians/trans people.

We're in this together, Vincent. I'll totally be here for you, whenever you need me to. I promise.

 

Hi, Vincent. Right now, just try to be what you are on the inside. If the outside doesn't match try not to worry too much about that. Be kind to yourself and know that you have the power to be what you want to be, and come out to the world as what you are.

Take your time though, and go easy on yourself. Know that there are incredible things in your future for you, especially as you get a little older and have more control over your own life and your own future and identity. Love yourself.

 

hey Vince (can i can you Vince?) and Jei!

i can't add anything to the above comments but good luck in coming out to friends/family! remember, always be true to yourself

 

hey,..Vincent
I totally understand,..I''m going through alot of the same thing right now.
And I just be myself,...I gave into alot of the peer pressure growing up too,..
My best friend knows,..Hell I hit on him years ago,(He said No LOL)..My family already knows although I've been way to freaked out to ever tell them directly alot of people already know.Its really obvious,with me.I really don't feel the need to be direct with anyone about it,.So I have'nt Come Out yet.at least not yet.I really don't want to explain it to anyone-I don't feel they'll really understand anyway even if they're cool about it,..but that's me.I know its really a bitch,..I think about it sometimes,...right now I just live my life the way I am,,...I really have nothing I could say to help you,..Comin'out has really been a conflict for me in the past,..I just decided I could'nt do it,..I really do empathize with you though,..If anyone ask I'll talk about it,No one has directly anyway yet.Maybe its a real bad way to handle it,..I really could'nt care less about there approval,..but I'm much older than you,I think its much more difficult when you're younger.Whatever you decide to do,However you handle this with your parents..relax and be yourself,..Have self-acceptance,.What really matters is how you feel,..,..You've got friends,..you're not alone!,... ..Don't take it too seriously,I have in the past and it was hell,..I just don't care too much now,..Being happy is what matters,...whatever you do be your'self,.Love,Laugh,Be You.