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Yeah, I was trying to say the same... but unfortunately, I'm metaphorically strangled when I tell that to anyone.

You see alot of it, living in Appalachia and the South, as that kinda thing is getting bad down here and people don't realize it. It's self-destructive, just like how African tribes were doing cutting and rituals like that, but now a lot of them have decided to stray away from it because it's not progressive or beneficial, and it sets their people behind.

 

thats because we all love micha because we have known he a long time. we dont need her to pick up our bad habits, so that we can feel more comfortable with our own insecurities. we just want to see a happy healthy micha.

 

Yeah, I think alot of people have trouble understanding that, when it seems distant or like it doesn't relate to what you're dealing with, but you can't always feel that in any kind of intervention... then you end up using tradition to blame.

 

well i'm sorry guys but happy healthy micha is gonna be somewhere else for quite a fucking while.


see..there's no fucking way she can ever be with the man she loves and thats got her sort of...frazzled.. to say the least...i mean he could go to lsu... he'd have other reasons to go besides me but thats a main reason..but that would be stupid...and i completely understand that but fuck...its SO shitty...
but oh god it would be perfect. its so close.
she has no idea what she's going to do and its kinda hard to stop crying. she's gonna fail an algebra test tomorrow and her school treats her like a 5 year old and her parents treat her like she's 10.






oh my god what do i do?
drugs. thats all i can think of.


i dont know what to do
oh my god
i'm freaking out
and i cant stop
and i cant even breath right now
fucking shit

 

i dont know what to say
you are dealing with very hard things. i could try to pass some wisdom, but that wont help. just look deep into your heart and do what you honestly think is best for you. you can figure things out later. i would just hate to see you do something destructive.

 

yeah but the thing is that i can't do anything right now. there really is nothing for me to do. i'm just fucking sitting here until something happens. and the ONLY thing i want right now is for paul to go to lsu. seriously. nothing else. i could completely stop drugs if i was with him. i mean i wouldn't..he does em too... but if i had to i definitely would.

i feel selfish that i want him to go to lsu... but he really wants it too.
its so hard on both of us. and goddamn its just so shitty

 

well its not good to worry about things outside your sphere of influence. its hard to deal with lifes blows, and its hard to be patient. but is the line we have to walk. sometimes you have to wait, sometimes you have to sacrafice, if you give into thinking htat life isnt fair, or feeling sorry, you can do some real harm.thats how people fall, and the stories you hear are about the people who never could get back up, and those are usually the ones who cared the most. you got a good head, so use it. do what you can do to make things better, and if there is nothing you can do, just let nature take its course. the only thing drugs are going to do is amplify what you are already feeling.