hi. im your average freshman in college, except ive had suicidal thoughts lately. Im from a good home, im in school, work part time, have friends, and am not happy for some reason beyond me. Tonight i had another breakdown, and i will be seeking help soon. dont have to worry about me. I want know how many guys sturggle with these types of issues themselves. I have this macho fascade to myself, and i feel too proud about being strong to admit i need help. I am looking for encouragment to seek the help i need from other guys who have dealt with these same issues. Also, is there anyone from eastern mass reading this? I have looked online for someone to speak with, but i dont know who i should see. If anyone happens to be in e. mass let me know if you have had a good experience with someone.
I've never had depression severe enough to have suicidal thoughts, but I've gone through depressed cycles in my life. It may be different for me, though, becuase I've always had to deal with my inadequacies. I sometimes deconstruct myself for the purpose of finding my faults... i don't know why I do it because it makes me feel like shit sometimes. I usually just find things that I like about myself or count my blessings. This helps a lot. I've never been seriously (as in suicidal thoughts) depressed, but I've been through periods where I've gone pretty low. I'm probably not the best guy to help you, but you can PM me if you want to talk about it some more.
I have had suicidal thoughts and still do to this very day. But I got reasons and trust me, you're not the only one.
I've never had thoughts of suicide. I've had plenty of thoughts of running away from life and starting a new one. Suicide seems to be the most selfish thing that anyone can do. I'm glad to hear that your seeking help. Please don't give in.
Never had this problem myself, but you're welcome to talk to me even though I probably won't be as helpful as those who do understand what you're going through.
I went into a depression in January and spent about a month in denial telling myself nothing was wrong with me. I got suicidal and one night was ready to do someting about it. I was on a subway platform ready to jump and, at the last minute, decided to go out and get a pile of drugs and get high for three days. When I finally came down and sobered up, I check into the psych ward of a very good hospital here. The old, kind of ineffective, anti-depressant I was on was switched and I'm feeling great and pursuing some therapy. My depression was triggered by the effects of an accident that left me temporarily disabled. I can tell you I learned a lot about depression. It manifested in me in a very physical way. I felt like a computer all frozen up. I was very good at having a clear mind and did not having racing or morbid thoughts For me, in the past when I would get upset, I would shut down for a minute, an hour, or a day (depending on how "big" the issue was). I'd shut down and kind of reshuffle everything according to this little internal card catalogue of emotions. With depression, I found that the card catalogue was gone and I was "stuck." It was an extremely physical condition for me. Anyway, as I said, I'm on one great anti-depressant and I'm sleeping great again. I admire you for taking care of it right away. I know my denial about it made it much worse and the people who comprised my support system had to eventually sit me down and tell me it was time for the hospital. They probably saved me. Good luck! It sounds like you are dealing with it head-on.
Go see the college psychiatrist. Such thoughts are not that unusual in college, because it is such an intense experience, and many students feel they are over their heads and can never catch up. They also fear disappointing their parents.
i've had my battles with depression...sophomore year college, i drowned my troubles with alcohol and almost got kicked out of school. did a lot better junior year, but things came back up again. senior year, i kept to myself at the beginning of the semester and i ended up taking fall semester off - i had spoken to one of the counselors at school a few times which helped out and helped me understand what i was going through. i'm experiences symptoms of PTSD from events that happend while i was growing up. and now its coming back. i had trouble sophomore year and i dealt with it on my own and i chose alcohol...i wihs i had the strength to seek help then. but i thought, just like many other men that admitting that i had a problem would make me weak, so i didn't seek help. it took having a wonderful friend of mine to get me to open up to her for me to finally realize that its OK to talk about these issues, its OK to seek help, its OK to seek treatment. since then, i've been able to open up to my parents and other close friends, even my male friends. that step, to open up and tell my male friends was monumental for me and they've been nothing short of being supportive since i've told them. i haven't been to a councelor since last september, but i'm thinking about making another appointment....not because i'm not happy, but to learn how to deal with this. i'm not on any meds. i have my friends to help me out, they support me when i'm down. i do have a problem of running away from my problems, but i'm getting better with that. i'm from boston, but i wouldnt' know who to recomend in terms of a professional, because i've never been to one outside of school. school is your best bet...you're probably already paying for that service. just talking to your friends is a good idea to. if you do need to find a professional outside of school, talking to yoour primary care doctor would be a good bet or calling up your medical insurance company. good luck with everything
