The end of my relationship

So my boyfriend of six years ended my relationship with him last week. I'm a complete wreck, i don't know what to do. I keep blaming myself for being a bad girlfriend, and thinking there must be something wrong with me. I'm having a hard time coping, I've been drinking a lot to stop the pain. I have to live with him for the next two months and there is no way out of that before anyone says move out. I don't know what to do, I want the pain to go away but I can't make it go away. I feel like I wish I never met him, I wish I never loved him because it hurts so much. If only this...if only that. If only I had been a better girlfriend, If only I'd made more effort.. but what do if onlys mean? Fuck all, just more pain and hurt. I wish I could stop thinking.

 

how could u have done things better


is drinking going to improve anything?

 

I don't know how i could have done anything better...

No drinking is not going to help, I know that,but at the moment the pain is too raw. i feel like I can't cope, I can't explain the pain... it's just too much.

Edit: the funny thing is, a part of me does feel I will get over this. But, it just hurts now.

 

I can only imagine how you feel right now.

I can't give any advice regarding your specific case, but I find the only way to heal such wounds are self-thought. I'd encourage you to stop drinking and continue thinking, as much as it hurts. It'll hopefully speed up the stage your in now and if anything give you something to help bring you to a better place.

 

Just stay strong, don't fall apart. Recently i realised that if i want to feel crapy i will feel crapy, but if i have a hard period and if i want to stay strong i can do it and it's not that hard.

The last time i broke up with my bf, the firs 2 days i felt like shit, but after that i felt llike i can go on with my life. Not that i don't love him or i don't miss him, but i fel that i was strong enough to deal with the situation, and you know what? I didn't whant to deal the situation and be strong at the moment. I had find myself torturing myself and asking for other to feel sorry for me with my actions and asking my ex to feel sorry for me. I got over it, and i realised that i have gone trough much shitty stuf in my life to do such lame thing, and that i'm better and stronget than that.

peace

 

Thankyou both paintballer and marija. Its just very hard when someone who has been such a big part of my life for 6 years is no longer a part of it. It is a big upheavel. I think it will take a lot of time and healing to feel sane again. And I know that so many people have it worse than me so I should be grateful for that fact. Good luck in your love life Marija
thanks for your replies.

 

Ms Curiosity - one of my daughters broke up with her boyfriend of four years recently, but after a period of pain like you are going through she rebounded and has two guys after her now.

It is not clear how old you are, but I would say somewhere in your 20s. You have plenty of time to get another guy.

 

Yeh I'm 22. Thanks for your thoughts. I'm not really interested in a serious relationship right now, but a fling wouldn't be a bad thing haha.

 

I understand, losing someone that important is a big change. obviously, it will get a lot easier when you move out with him,

but you will be fine, your a strong woman. You do have plenty of time if you are 22. This is a new chapter in your book of life so to speak and all you can do to help is simply think positive. Just be grateful that you were fortunate enough to share 6 years with someone you loved.

Now it is time to be single and reflect on what it is you want, and when you are ready again, you will meet someone you will love for many many more years than just 6. Just try and learn from the experience you had so next time you fall in love, if you feel like they are the one, you will know how to hold onto them.

Remember, you will be fine. Heartbreak is something everyone goes through and it will just take a little time for you to recover. You cant just throw away 6 years in a few weeks, you have to adjust. And hold your heard up, cuz if he stayed with you for 6 years (knowing our generation lol) then you must be a special girl.

 

i think ya should try to think about other important thigs in your life and stop blaming yourself
and drinking cant relieve your pain in any way
try to enjoy things your like...

 

I feel bad at the moment. My ex doesn't even seem to care, its like the nearly 6 years we spent with each other meant nothing to him.

He's been going out all the time and I have suspicions that he has started seeing someone already. I mean, I know he's single now, but its only been two weeks! Did I really mean that little to him? How can he be moving o so fast? He doesn't seem to care that we spent all those years together. It might be mean, but a part of me wants him to be sad, but he honestly does not seem to care! Why is this????

 

he may not care anymore ,and then again ,he may be going out all the time to take his mind off you.
who split with who.

 

Like I said in my first post, he ended it with me...so I guess he doesn't care, but I find it that hard to comprehend after six years of being in love with me. I really am beginning to hate him in a way, but I guess that is better than loving him.

 

Its happens to all of us, its not easy getting over some one you've been with that long, but you will.
i meen if he can drop you after all those years, is he worth crying over.
you shouldn't blame your self, and you shouldn't drink, it makes you feel ten times worse, trust me i no, Ive been there.
Have you not got a friend you can move in with.

 

Mrs. Curiosity, I feel exactly what you are going through believe me, my gf of 8 years broke up with me over a month ago... til now I am still trying to get over it... I keep thinking what if's this and what if's that... its not easy, in fact every night I have to resort on leaving the TV on and falling asleep as I can't bare to sleep alone in the dark, however at the same time I can tell you that time does heel a lot... I still miss her very much, I mean 8 years of talking to her everynight, spending every weekend with her, now my weekends are as boring as ever... however thanks to my family and friends they have made this time a lot easier to get by... I say you go out call a few girls out for a drink, have fun and slowly try to move on... good luck, I know its not ez

 

moveing on doesn't meen stop loveing the person
he can't just forgot about you after 6 years, and he can't just fall out of love with you
he is just living the moment, i think that you should do the same thing too

btw, why did you broke up in the first place?

 

Thanks I really am trying to move on, and I know eventually I will I guess it just takes time.
Hope you feel better soon.

 

Unfortunately no I don't have a freind I can move in with at the moment, but 'm going away for a couple of weeks soon, and after that there won't be much longer to live with him.

Not completely sure why we broke up, but he said he wanted to be single. Which i guess is understandable since he is only 22. But I am trying to move on now, I feel a bit more positive and I've cut down on the drinking by a lot.

 

maybe uve been a very good gf all the time.. i mean maybe it has nothing to do with u, cuz i think when uve been with the same person since u were 16, u probably wanna see whats going on elsewhere.. just to experience different relationships.. its the sad thing about early love, they rarely last forever..

but yea, like other pple said, give it a lil time. it hurts like hell at first, but u will feel better..
dont worry =)

 

forget the good time till you get over him, focus on all the shit that pissed you off in those 6 years