This one's not so philosophical.....just my honest feelings about my brother.... I remember when we used to play. Now it seems there's nothing I can say.... I'd like to take things back, make it all okay, But it's not, and I see this everyday. You've made your point, you've made it clear: I'm an asshole, and you won't let me near. I hope you're sure, I hope you're right, No obstruction to your sight. I love you clearly, my flesh is pained. My mind's confused, my heart is stained. I'd like to say that I can wait, For you to drop all of this hate. But that's not true, I don't know you. I have no clue, as to who you are- You've pushed yourself away so far. I miss that kid....... Who used to play, you see. Stuffed animal birthdays Were all that mattered to me.....
So what happened between you and your brother to cause this hate you speak of? (The poem is very good)
we were both skinny little kids that got picked on a lot. i went to juve for 9 months and learned to fight while i was in there. i came out convinced that it was important for someone to have a villain in their lives to toughen them up, so i bullied him, thinking it was the right thing to do. this was long ago, but he has initiated many fights with me since then, and i'm sure this is why. at the present, he hasn't spoken to me in over 6 months. i left that poem as a message for him, letting him know it would be the last one.
forgot to mention-for the past 3 yrs, i've made every effort to make things up to him, and have explained several times my own mental situation at the time. he said he understood, but the attitude never let up. it was like he was still fighting the battle i initiated, and i didn't want to fight anymore.
My advice (I know you didn't ask, so feel free to tell me to go pound sand) is leave it alone. Withdraw a little. Give it time and he might just approach you. He might like watching you grovel to him. Make believe his insensativeness toward you doesn't bother you. Make believe he doesn't exsist. You can only do so much, and I think you have tried more than you needed to. Good luck with that.
I know what you mean. I used to pick on my brother all the time because I was picked on..and then he got picked on..it's really dampened our relationship..I hope that he eventually comes around.
i know i need to leave him alone......it's just that i care about him like i would a son, and i know that teaching him to fight saved his life more than once. it's an odd mix of feelings-both guilt and pride for doing what i did. i just wish someone else could have been the one to teach him that stuff. i always worry about how he's doing, so much that it's painful. i suppose i need to be patient, and that was my last unprovoked message to him.
...my flesh is pained. My mind's confused, my heart is stained. ^ simple, clear, awesome. yet still not really cliche, so neat-o, good job
