Bad Boys and Women Who Love Them....

Why is it women are attracted to the "bad boy" man? I, myself, have been in that exact circumstance being attracted to a certain type of man that isn't good for me.... Why? Because they treat us like "crap" and being a woman we can't understand it so we thrive on trying to "get" him to change his ways, while at the same time making our lives miserable. When really what we need to do is change the type of man that we open ourselves up to. Look beyond that first initial attraction that we're used to and see the whole picture.

It could be that we're comfortable in trying to get a man to change their ways; to continue letting him treat us like crap. The bottom line is sometimes comfortable isn't always good. We don't always feel right if things just fall in to place; we're always waiting for the ball to drop.

Sometimes a man can love us without all the chaos that goes along with loving a bad boy. I recently met a man that is far from a "bad boy". He's religious and a very good man in all areas. It was uncomfortable being with him at first because he absolutley adores me; sex couldn't be better. Yet, my thoughts stirred because I wasn't used to this. I let my guard down slowly. We've had to talk about my feelings, because I get very scared of having my heart broken. But? In life and love, we have to take risks; those risks helps us over time become stronger and more secure with who we are.

So what's your opinion? Why do women love bad boys?

 

um, most sane women do not like a man who treats them like crap.....

 

IMO, woman do not like bad boys, unless they are emotionally or mentally under developed, like a confidence problem. In my exp., girls I know go for the nice guys. They are to smart to fall into simple mind games.

 

th eonly real appeal i have for bad boys is that hteyre confident and have a spine. i dont like doormats for boyfriends. but there are plenty of men out there who arent bad boys (at least not in the abusive way youve termed them) but sitll have spine/are weilling to stand up to people and are relatively confident in themselves

 

I couldn't give two shits about so-called 'bad boys'...I want to be treated with respect.

 

I like "bad girls" a lot. It stems from my need to be dominated and treated like crap (while in the end, still loved)... It has it's roots in domination and submission I think, and is perfectly natural. Just try to find bad boys who are actually decent people on the inside.

And for those of you who find her preference stupid or inferior, you should be ashamed of yourselves. These things are highly personal and rooted in factors we can't control, such as biology.

Good luck on your quest to find this guy. If you can't love a guy who's nice on the inside, THAT may actually be a problem.

 

Its a part of growing up. Most women who go for the "bad boy" are young and think thats what the "in" thing to do is. They want a guy that walks the walk and seems strong minded and confident. Most learn after 3-4 bad relationships that they are great to show off and all that but when they are alone they are unhappy and feel never good enough for him. This is the way they want you to feel. You feel like you have to constantly impress him to keep him, you will and he will respond by treating you that way. If they can get away with it they will just keep doing it. Many "Real nice" guys on the other hand can be just the opposite. They try all the time to please you and it gets old. They become the givers of the relationship and soon you will take the role of the taker. This can make you feel like the relationship is going no where and many times you would rather be with someone that took charge and was controlling.


The key to a good relationship is to find the happy medium. A guy that is self confidant and makes decisions but also is sensitive to your needs. He will remind you of your place at his side but also raise you up to his equal when important decisions need to be addressed that effect your future. He will not use his position as head of household to put you down but use it to raise you up by his side.

Talk is the most important thing. If the guy will not open up and talk to you when you open up and talk to him you need to find out why. If you do many great things for him, what does he do in return? It is give and recieve. If in the relationship one person is always giving and not recieving it will not last. Find a partner that will feed off your actions and words and give back with his actions and words.

That should be your goal! There is not this type of guy already out there just for you. I believe it takes the female to build up a guy so he feels incharge and confident but yet knows you are what makes him complete.

The old saying "behind every good man is a great women" or however it goes rings true! I am not saying woman is better than man or the other way around. I am saying it takes two to make a great relationship. We respond to how the other one makes us feel.

Also you NEED to love yourself! If there are many things about yourself that you hate you need to fix that before entering into a relationship. Low self esteem will make you settle for something you should not settle for.

There are way too many people in relationships that are messed up. Stay with a person that brings out the best in you and builds you up, but you have to also be that person to bring out the best in him and build him up!

The "bad boys" will only abuse you as long as you let them! Any man can be confident and take charge when the woman in is life makes him feel that way!

 

yah and plenty of nice guys have a spine too. so there is no appeal to an observant person.

 

did i say that only 'bad boys' had confidence or spine? no, just that thats the onlyreason ive ever felt any appeal towards them. well, that and i love how tattoos look, bu tnice guys get tattoos too. ive never dated a bad boy, but most of my bfs have had spine

 

Women want something that's out of the ordinary. Something that keeps them awake for some time. And that's why they pick a "bad" guy. Bad doesnt mean real bad by the way. Just a dude who s a little playful and adventurous. And that reminds me slightly of this survey i put together recently. Have a quick look if you like: http://www.arnoudforyou.com/knowing-yourself-knowing-others-survey.html

Arnoud

 

You're right; bad doesn't mean necessarily bad as we think.

 

i love bad ones
good ones are boring in a way