Last night my girlfriend and I got a hotel room to spend our valentines night and I discovered just how crazy she can be in bed. I saw a side of her I hadnt really seen before. It was kinda disturbing yet kinda fun and kinky. She's never really expressed any interest before in S & M but last night she wanted me to fuck the living shit out of her and wanted to be dominated almost to the point where I would be forcing the sex on her. She'd pretend she was no longer interested in sex and it was my job to force her into it. Almost like a rape thing. It was kinda scary and I dont know what to make of it but I went along with it like a good boyfriend should. She wanted me to pull on her hair and toss her around, talk dirty and all sorts of crazy shit. I wont get into details but it was nasty. She basicaly wanted to be treated like shit I guess. Im a gentle kinda guy so it made me feel like a complete asshole. Luckily I was pretty drunk which made it a little easier but shit man. Its hard to hate fuck someone that you love. Im just wondering what this might mean phsycologicaly. Could this signal some sort of emotional issues she might be hiding? Is this healthy? Im a little worried I guess. She's always been kinky in lots of other ways but never anything like this. Anyone know what this might mean?
As you said its a dominate thing, i read somewhere that every woman wants to be dominated but i dont think thats true. Its just her exploring sex basically, its good that she is comfortable enough with you to do that, but where you said like the good boyfriend should - you shouldnt do anything unless your comfortable with it. I wouldnt be worried some people have things like this as a fantasy and its best like that, some have them as real life x
I love being dominated, but I also love regular sex. I only really worry about people who can only get off during sex in which they're degraded, who can't enjoy more vanilla sex.
Hmm... I do enjoy normal love making~~ but definitely have a desire for the low-down dirty rape fantasy thing, but I never felt comfortable communicating or initiating this with any of my partners. I give your girl props~~ she finds it hot, it gets her off and its probably not a psychological thing. I know mine isn't, I think it's just getting down to the primitive side of humanity where men just probably "took" girls as they pleased. Look as it a chance to explore. She's expressed a desire for you to be in control and this gives you an excellent opportunity to do things sexually that you may have felt inhibited about before. And delving into this probably doesn't mean that the two of you won't still enjoy normal heart to heart lovemaking. If anything it'll probably bring you closer.
Rape fantasies are REALLY common, like way more than you'd ever expect! It often depends, too, on if she is dominant in real-life situations. Like business executives, managers, etc tend to be more submissive in the sheets because they want to be able to relinquish control once in a while. Don't worry, muffin, chances are she's totaly mentally fine, just a little crazy in the bedroom
Thanks ladies. I feel a lot better about the whole thing now. It does make me feel good to know that she's confortable enouph to communicate and explore something like this. I think it will be more confortable for me too now. I think it just startled me more than anything and now knowing that it's more common than I thought, I can get into it more easily. Like what you were talkin about sunburst, under normal circumstances like when she's at work or socializing with friends or family she tends to be more of the dominant type while Im more laid back and passive. But in more intimate settings wheather it's sexual or not she prefers that I be in the reign of controll so I guess it makes sense. Although there have been numerous times when she's basicaly raped the shit out of me. Im just really glad she can be both lovey dovey and wild and crazy. It always keeps things interesting and through it all I know I can be open, honest and confortable with her. Thanks for your helpfull insight ladies!
That made me spit out my juice Haha! Well I'm really happy to hear you're feeling better about it! Happy lovin'!
That sounds pretty fucking hot. My old lady just lays there and says get it over with. Makes me want to blow my brains out. Sex isn't fun anymore. She refuses to experiment. Do anything out of the ordinary and she'll sit right up and ask me what I'm doing and ruins the whole thing. Good luck with your kinky girl man - enjoy it!!!
Maybe she has a secret fantasy or something she's into that she just hasnt told you about. It's to bad she refuses to experiment cause that might be the best way to find out. Have you been together a long time? Hope that gets better for ya.
Im with the rest of the ladies on this one: Being dominated in bed is hot on occasion. Also hot: dominating your partner. Take turns. Its fun. I promise.
Last Saturday night my partner and I got a hotel room, too. It was so fucking hot. We went to the nearby ABC store and he bought me some vodka. His plan was to (with permission of course) get me drunk enough to fuck me up the ass. The plan was a success and I want it again. I'm not actually into drinking but it made me so fucking horny I was ready to rape him. He also bought me this bright red lipstick to wear (normally I'm into light colors) while giving him head. We both love porn so according to him it gave me that whole porn star/hooker look. Mmm, that boy makes me crazy.
I've had rape fantasies for so long it's not even funny. It's not that I actually want the serious, life-altering act to happen, it's just a really hot thought in Fantasyland. I consequently tend to get most into sex when it involves being forced into place or having my hair lightly tugged. It's perfect because I know he loves me; it's the only way I can trust him to act out the fantasies. If anything, feel honored that she let you in on such private, taboo thoughts .
i sometimes have those fantasies too ^_^... need to find myself some dominating bf/gf, well better a gf, i'm not into the anal thing
I also have similar fantasies, and have had rough roleplay like that which immensely turned me on. Not something I would want everyday, but it is hot. My husband felt much the same way as you about some stuff like that, but something you may be overlooking or may have already been said, is that it is roleplay. In order to play such games requires serious trust, and eventhough you may feel weird about it, it probably says something about the fact she trusts and cares for you enough to want you to explore those types of fantasy with you. I have firends who experiment heavily in BDSM and one common thing they all say is that the submissive is actually the one in control. Its more often their fantasy of being dominated that is being fulfilled. They know what boundries they have. So I would look at it as a very positive thing in your relationship, but I would be open with her about it and discuss it. That might make her want it more lol.
