Vortac's Introduction Should Be In Here

Warm greeting to everyone here!

Introductions are difficult, because they require deep self-analysis .. I still have no idea on who I actually am, where I am from, where I've been ..

What is my purpose, what am I doing here ..

So this is probably going to be a confusing, fragmented and perhaps disorienting introduction.

Maybe I can start by trying to imagine what I would like to know about someone and try to explain / reveal such things of the being that is 'me'.

My soul is basically very lively and humorous, and I think the basic structure of it involves a lot of joy and curiosity about life, energy, the universe, color, light, music, etc..

Though at this moment I feel I am trapped and imprisoned in so many ways, in so many levels that it's quite difficult to reach deep to the core essence of 'me' anymore. These days I feel to be just a bad quality low resolution low-framerate video clip of a glimpse of a shadow of my former self, if you catch my drift.

One thing that puzzles me and perhaps describes something about me or at least my current inner form is that it seems that my intellect/thinking/surface understanding and my feelings/intuition/deeper understanding are very separated, disconnected, unable to reach each other.

I have stated many times that if I knew emotionally everything I know intellectually/mentally, I could probably levitate (*grin*).

As of now, in many levels, I am just a 'regular' person, with no any special abilities or gifts that might have seemed starting to open at some point in my life. All external qualities that I could rely on instead of truly getting to know myself have been stripped away during a very difficult process that is my life now.

My interests cover a lot of topics. But as I have a fragmented, disoriented and kind of chaotic mind I suppose, and also very efficient forget-feature, I couldn't list them all here.

My main interest, I think, has to do with the essential of human/humanity. Well, that's pretty much interlaced with the essence of the whole Universe according to my view. Which means that maybe actually those two things are shared or a mutual one thing ..

So my conclusions and experiences have led me to understand that the essence of a human being is spirit. Spirit is not manufactured in a laboratory, nor is it just some physiological thing that body cells somehow make.

From what I have gathered in my limited viewpoint and understanding, spirit is merely an illusion of one part of a bigger being being separate from it when it actually isn't. This bigger being of course being the Omnipotent Father, the Eternal Being, the Great Spirit, as some indians have called it. The name is not important .. with new civilizations come new languages and new names, but that which is eternal, stays. As long as people understand what is meant ..

This is one reason why I try to use many different descriptions/names of The Cosmos, The Lifeforce .. as you can perhaps observe from this post.

So the hand that created humans, which are actually part(s) of that hand, making us all interconnected eternally ... is the essence of everything that is to me. I use very 'mundane' names sometimes of this Creator, Creative Force, so that I as a limited consciousness, can relate to it/him/her better..

Anyways.. my goal in life is to evolve into a good human being. And when I say 'human being', I don't mean necessarily earth-type land-human-looking body-owning spirit, but the pure energy-essence that is the true Self.

I would feel comfortable being incarnated into an animal-looking body, as long as I would still have similar mental, spiritual and emotional capabilities.

I like to think. I like to ponder what things are, how things are, why things are.. Most of my thoughts seem to be too much for my fellow brothers and sisters on this planet, which always makes me quite sad. It makes me sad because I feel there is nobody who understands me and my thoughts fully, making me doubt my sanity. It makes me sad, because I know what they are missing, and how mundane their life must be - how little things they have surrounded themselves with, how little they think satisfies their spirit's needs. How much lies they have accepted as truth and how lowly they seem to treat each other.

Friends say hurtful words to friends, brothers and sisters bicker and fight, companions hit and kick each other .. if people close to each other treat each other this way, what can be expected they will do to strangers?

As probably most of you are aware.. people seem very tribe-minded or herd-oriented. (I am sure there are better words for this) What I mean is .. nationality, all kinds of artificial structures, 'we-spirit' is very strong .. anyone that is outside that self-manufactured circle, is immediately thought as enemy. Maybe not in a 'let's kill him immediately'-kind of sense, but in a 'what a <insulting word here> you are, go <hostile and/or demeaning action here> yourself/your mother, <insult>'-type of way.

It still shocks me to see people treat each other that way. So.. they treat their friends and family the best way (but still in a very horrible, insulting and violent way - even if those insults are disguised as 'just joking'), co-workers and more distant people in a worse way.. and 'total strangers' of their own species in a totally disrespectable and insulting, violent and ugly way.

So what can be expected when they are presented with some OTHER species? Let's say animals for example. I don't think I have to describe the horrors of meat-industry (which people will defend furiously if questioned or if vegetarianism/veganism is even mentioned in a neutral way) to you people..

Then if someone is still reading this far (congratulations for stamina at least, hehe!), and still isn't thinking that I am just some mental patient describing some hallucinations or other disturbance in the force..

I'd like to just introduce one more thought - or hopefully food for thought.. What if these same people happen (this is just an imagined, hypothetical example) to encounter somehow a being or beings from another world - who might even look like animals... based on all I have written so far - how would these same people treat those beings?

Anyways, as you might see from this post, I try my best to live a life that doesn't hurt anyone in any way, and in which my actions would cause only positivity, only good things, only kindness and love and all that. Thus I try to stay away from animal products and stuff like that. But after being a vegan for almost 10 years .. nowaday's misery and lack of energy (among other things) has made me slip in that a bit and nowadays I am merely a vegetarian who even eats fish etc.. though thankfully I have been able to stay away from the so-called 'red meat'. I hope this will remain for the rest of the eternity...

I hope to become a vegan again some day, but in this kind of difficult world which gets worse every day, I don't know if I still can.

So much has changed..

Ok, I guess this is time to stop. I would have liked to make this introduction in such a way that I would have discussed a short bit of many many topics to cover as much ground possible in a very orderly manner and in optimized way.. but as always in my life, I just ramble something, notice that I have done it for pages and pages and not even got to the next subject yet, hehe..

(I guess I am 'multi-worded' person, meaning that I cannot simply state something - I have to explain it too. And a short and compact explanation is not enough, I have to elaborate the explanation. And then of course I have to clarify the explanation with a sub-explanation or addition to the explanation. Afterwards which I have to correct the possible misunderstanding-danger in the previous explanation(s) and on we go.. as you can see from THIS explanation of an explanation of how multi-worded I am and what I mean by it, and still I feel I have not explained it well enough at all. )

So .. if you have thoughts, if you like to discuss my thoughts or your own or someone elses, chances are I might be interested in such.

but I must give a warning here .. I respond very badly (yeah, I heard that's not a good word to use but blah <- how's that for a short explanation!) to negativity, especially insults and commands, coercion.. well, you get the idea ...

So if you have criticism or disagreements with something or all of what I have said or a point that might contradict what I have said, that's all ok, if the intention is positive and fruitful discussion about it and all that .. I just wish for a relatively high - or even relatively medium level of expressing it, which means that I'd like to keep things friendly, no matter what viewpoints we might disagree on.

With these warnings, I welcome anyone to discuss with me, by email or in this forum.

Oh, what I forgot to add to my statement that 'I try to be good' etc.. is that I have to admit I have failed miserably in many aspects, I have done PLENTY of things I am very very ashamed of, I have hurt others by insults and threatening behaviour and arrogance, short-sightedness, I have had huge rage tantrums or whatever you could call them, I have destroyed other's property, I have even killed animals.

I know I am probably going to insult people again, I am going to hurt others with words and all that but I hope that I won't do any of the other stuff ever again. The thing is, I seem to get very annoyed very easily. Then I somehow slowly slip into some odd mode without being aware of what's happening.. my language starts getting more harsh, my responses start to get a bit more 'sharp' so to say, I might start accusing and blaming and making false assumptions...

My sun sign is Aries (truly describes me in many ways except the 'leader'-stuff.. I am a follower more than a leader, except when seeking for truth, then I lead myself I suppose, hehe..but the emotional extreme-stuff describes me well), my Ascendant is Sagittarius.. Moon sign: Pisces.

Sensitive, emotional, clumsy.. what a package, huh? (-8

I would've chosen an icon to represent me but there was no way to upload my own self-drawn icon so I rather didn't want to choose a pre-made icon (although some of those icons are refreshingly personal-looking and theme-fitting than the all-too-common ugly, boring, soulless mainstream icons).

(and this icon-thing statement.. I don't even know why I wrote it because it has no signifigance to me actually - well, maybe at least not intellectually, heh..)

So all in all - write to me if you wish, I welcome you and your thoughts, whoever you are, as your soul has some kind of motive for kindness/friendship/positivity/smile somewhere, even for a brief moment - but I cannot promise anything, and I have been trying to warn you, heh.. so there you go

I guess it's customary to write some kind of well-wishing in the end, but right now I don't feel like doing so. I mean, sometimes I like to rebel a bit against all 'customed' stuff .. like having to say something in certain situation or do something in another .. sure I accept that life here would be impossible if I resisted all of those all the time, but sometimes I just like to think that if a person stops liking me just because I forget to write something clicheic in end of some of my post, then I probably wouldn't have so much wanted to be interacting a lot with that person anyway..

- Vortac

p.s. oh, my email add is avortac@spamsuxx.gmail.com

(as you probably notice, something needs to be removed from that add for it to work, but it should be a no-brainer.. )

 

holy huge intro, Vortac!

welcome to the forums!

 

You're a long winded one, Welcome to The Hip Forums, it's a great place to hang out and you'll meet some real groovy people here....

 

Thanks you two!

Hmm, what does 'long-winded' mean? That my wind is long? Or that I write in a boring manner? or that I am multi-worded? It's kinda sad how little people these days use the word 'groovy' .. but in some videos I have looked at, people in the 60's used it in somehow very natural manner.

Btw, I disagree. Religion is artificial institutions designed to control people. Sincerity can never be a religion. When something occurs naturally, it is not a religion..

- Vortac

 

No offence, just that you're multi-worded & that's a good thing....Dave

Quote of the day
Frank Zappa: "Stupidity is the basic building block of the universe.:

 

Vortac : I scanned your intro, will take a little at a time. Saw your feelings on religion
and I agree.
At this time we are getting enough interest going to start a church here in Alaska.
Let it be known as, "The Church of the Born-again Virgin and Bingo Hall".
Have gotten a warm reception from the community. Will keep everyone upgraded......