Sexually abused and consequences

k

 

BAN PLEASE!

kTHXluvYaBBQ

 

typical canadian french.

 

Are you disgusted with yourself because you feel like you've been violated or disgusted with yourself because you think you might be gay, and want a reason?

Anyone with a story involving sex between children is going to get a sympathetic response nowadays, especially if you're the younger one... but honestly, I don't think what happened is all that uncommon... and I don't think it's abuse unless he was old enough to know better. Actually, it's kind of irresponsible for all of these people to be already telling you that you're a victim.

Honestly, if you're just looking for a reason why you might be gay, you should stop... because you're not going to find something that will make it go away. And being disgusted with yourself and talking about bullshit like 'he took my innocence' really isn't going to help either.

If you really were abused, which is what it sounds like you want to believe, then you should talk to someone about it. But if you're making a big story out of something that happened because you're afraid of being gay, then you really shouldn't.

But whatever you do, don't just go on the advice of people on fucking hipforums.

 

I have no reasons to doubt the motives behind the posters that have expressed that they were victims here.

 

So if it is not that uncommon then why can't he talk about it. People react differently to situations in their life. It is especially difficult to find yourself in the world without wondering if some instance in your past is tainting how you see things.

He never stated he was gay but gay, straight or bi-sexual it is natural to wonder if instances in your childhood could have effected your sexuality. The first advice I gave was to not beat himself up over what now turns him on.

Actually I think talking about it and realizing others can and have overcome these issues in their own lives can help. It can help some to realize that they may have been affected by stuff in the past but they can overcome negative feelings and move on.

Not many people want to believe that males can be taken advantage of as children but it happens. It effects their lives. It doesn't mean the end of the world but just like females it can leave behind pain and confusion.

 

YEAH!

harumph.

 

That isnt bullshit you asshole - some people live with that nasty fucked up thought every day - get a life !!!!!!!

Jeez you are one prize twat !!! The advice was - go get advice from a trained professional - No-one posted saying they had the answer except for that one - are you such a thickheaded idiot that you dont bother reading the thread before posting your twisted shit all over the place ?

Misterrain, obviously you misunderstand what it is to feel guilt, and to have something that so plagues your mind that it puts everything else to the sidelines. You obviously have no experience of the feelings that can be imposed on a persons mind by another person. You assume the original posters experience was with another child - that is not something that was stated. The fact of the matter is your advice is more like the advice of someone who just dont give a damn about whether people feel bad or not. Let me tell you something. There are som things that people do to other people that are so bad and yet leave no physical scars that are called abuse for one reason alone. To a victim of sexual or psychological abuse it feels day-in and day-out like the person who abused them is a problem puzzle to be worked out - why did this happen? was it my fault? why did they do that ? and many many more questions complete with flashback imagery that is upsetting and nausiating and with such terrible clarity - things the person said and did - situations that you hated - the fear and the anger of it - thats what its about so FUCK YOU - HUH ? Perhaps you dont realise that a lot of victims of sexual and psychological abuse wonder a lot about how to let people know that, yes, theyre a bit mentally fucked up - buts its because .......

If you want to trivialise it go ahead but its you that hasnt understood something about life not the original poster or anyonelse that posted in support of that first post.

Your list of posts just about say it all - huh?
http://www.hipforums.com/forums/search.php?searchid=199865
You are one dumb bitch

 

Hey man I am really sorry that happened to you, I hope you find some peace and comfort that you deserve. I know you may think if there is some way to change what may have happened to you , but how could you? you were still a child, you were helpless.

Hey if you need to talk just PM me.

 

He had a bad experience and he wants to share it for some peace , some comfort and let it go, this is a problem for you? Who the hell are you to tell other people what to do on hipforums?

 

First of all, I'd like to thank Haid, Aristartle, Columbo, Mcgee and mamaboogie and all the other comentators. I just read my post just now and it is confusing to an extent so I thank you for bearing with me but I did free-writing. Anyway, to answer some of your guys' questions. When I was 6 years old or 7 he was 8 or 9. He used to try to kiss and have me do stuff and he was only 8 or 9 but u know my memory is so crystal clear that I remember and sensed that he actually knew what he was doing. Which means he would plan it when my parents are away and take into the room etc As strange as it may sound but I remember him knowing what he was doing and I remember being controled and just obeying sort of thing. I mean it wasn't we were both laughing u know and then we said hey lets try to do this or that etc.
Now, I haven't spoke of it for more than 10 years now but recently like 2 months ago I confronted him and he wasn't really cooperative like I was expecting so I became more rough with him on the phone to make him realize the depth of it back then and so on and then he told me that he did whatever he did just becuz he wanted to come and not to feel that he was controling or overpowering me. Now, thats bullshit. Because he told me stories how he took two girls' virginity at age 14 and he was 16 at the time and they're both sisters and twins while their brother who happens to be his dearest friend was in the kitchen !!!!!!!!!( he's not lying I know it happened) So in other words, he is a power and control freak!
Now, what triggered me after 10 years is because I've fucking been in struggle with my SELF for long long time and went to univ. and did great at school and yet hadn't been with peace with myself until I got unemployed and had time to reflect and think why I react in certain ways and why I like to abuse and exploit people and just get what I want and why I treated alot of girls and my ex's very bad sometimes and like to hurt them ETC I realized thats because of this sexual abuse thing at an early age and the bottomline was that my emotional growth got fucked up big time. At times I find myself really nice and really cool and then I act like an asshole to someone and hurt someone and then I'm really nice,,,,,,,just unbearable I really got sick and tired of myself, thats the problem. It's like I dont want to improve myself anymore because I'll stay " Emotionally UNSTABLE" like this. Now I forgot to mention the part that as a result of being sex. abused I started getting inclined to perversion and addicted to porn and it all made sense after I researched what the sexually abused males who recover what they engage in. That was one of them, porn addiction, masturbation addiction, living in fantasy world rather than reality, withdrawal from activites/school/family/friends, and FUCK I have all this !!!!!!!!!!
Yes I agree with u guys, I will talk to a counselor as I have an appointment very soon but firgured to share by writing cuz that helps me as well.........
I hope I answered your guys' questions and answered to any confusions. The reality of the matter is that I used to be very liked and popular and had gr8 accomplishments and NOW I lost contact with all my friends and teachers and dont want to go back to school or even be around anyone anymore because its like I feel I'm setback now and its like there's alot of issues I need to work on. Life ain't fair eh! Well, to answer that commentator who jumped me and pretty much told to stop blamin my crap on people blah blah blah. Well, my answer is that when I've been struggling for fucking long time with me myself and I and even though I had no beef with my cousin regardless of what he's done and THEN after the years go by I make research and I discover that problem is linked to a FUCKING perv and YES I was innocent and there was nothing wrong with me be4 what he did. THEN yes FUCK him and I will blame the fucking shit out of him until I fully recover and come back to normal.
hahahahhahahahahaha you guys know whats funny. It is KARMA and what goes around comes around.....NOW IS THE TWIST LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: YOU GUYS READY.......I'M PRETTY DRAMATIC SO HERE GOES..............((At the same time When I called him two months ago to confront him and point out what he did to me 17 yrs ago He wanted to contact me at the same time to tell me what He himself was going through......so you guess what! Well, I let him speak on the phone first to say what he has to say right and so he told me that he has a mental disorder and he lost his job and that he was diagnosed with "Bipolar-Disorder" through his counselor and his case is SOO SEVERE because he's done crazy shit at is job like all of a sudden breaking computers and breaking stuff without understanding why he's doing that, that they actually had to fire him, SOOOOOOOOO after I listened to him being shocked that my cousin is actually mentally ill and he needs treatment and this will affect the rest of his life and most of all IMAGINE his reputation that he is mentally sick after he graduated from univ. with degree and landed on a gr8 job, I DIDNT EVEN HESITATE to blow it out in his face and when he was replying back and explaining himself he was just been freshly diagnosed with Bipolar-Disorder and was on pills so he was trippin on the phone poor guy (for those who know bipolar-disorder know what I mean) and you know what he told me, he told me I kinda expected something happening like this and that it KARMA man.......So thats the twist! Funny and weird right! Now do I feel sorry for his ass or do I say kind of fair game you know......I don't know they say bipolar disorder is genetic so what if I fuckin have it.
ANYWAY, I resy my case, I talked alot and many fell asleep or ignored this post because of how long it is, but at least there was a twist to the story and I just hope when I see the counselor that this time I will not flake on her like I used to do to other counselors thinking there's no hope as I've always wanted to better myself and become an authentic sincere person so you guys wish me luck and pray for me that it turns out that my problem is the sexual abuse and not anything else like make bipolar disorder Godforbid!
Thank your for your time and peace
anger

 

I'm sorry that he has issues and has taken it out on you though. That shouldn't have happened.

 

It doesn't surprise me one bit. Often when one is abused they find others to act it out on. In my case I later found out that the woman involved had been molested by her father and had some issues from it. She leaned on my mom for some support, I guess. Not only was I involved but also my step brother, step sister(my mother is now divorced from their father) and sister. My ex step brother is now a skin head who is in jail for running his car into a mosque. My ex step sister is a stripper who has an abusive boyfriend. My sister and I turned out not to bad really. She turned to religion and I joined the army when I could. It gave me some direction I thought I was lacking. I think I realized along the way that anything in this world is just what you make of it. She has since given up the religion and seems well adjusted. We never have discussed it, not once. I have thought about it but how do you bring something like this up and would it do anything constructive? I do wonder if my ex step siblings lives were a result of our childhood.

 

I would like to extend my sympathy and hope that all those that have been abused in any form get help, be that talking with those they trust or professional help. If it has an impact, past only memory, on your life, then I would suggest that perhaps professional help with dealing with the healing and also for most victims the blaming of oneself allows it to rest in the past and allows a person to reclaim them in the process. No child controls abuse.

My heart really does go out to you.

Lastly, the next person who I see personally attack another on this subject or any other in this forum will have their posts removed. Period. If you continue after I remove your post I will ask for a super mod to step in.

Thank you for your co-operation on this.

This is a sensitive issue for anyone who is trying to discuss it and perhaps online helps as it gives distance to try to deal with it and also many opinions. They should not be negative. The act of any abuse is negative enough.

Heat

 

Thanks to Haid and Heat and all the rest. Now is my job to step up and deal with it. I have an appointment soon with a counselor. I guess the next time I post it will be all positive this time. ~ Anger

 

i too was sexually abused at an young age.it was a neighbor who was at least 18 or more,and i also have had some serious issues because of it. but reading the posts in this forum have helped me realize that i'm not alone..thanks .

 

I'm sorry man...Love Ya

 

I am sorry that has happened to you three (anger, haid, stoneman-ky) and will pray to God that you all will find some peace. It is truly admirable that you are facing this head on and getting help, sometimes it takes great courage to come out and find a solution when we are put in such dark corners in life. I really admire you and hope that you will gain some peace. Good luck.

 

thanks jedi for your words of support and encouragement..maybe by posting this,i will start on my journey back to a better life

 

wow I also would like to extend my sympathy for everyone here who has posted so openly about these issues. I really do feel for you. I agree that talking about things like this makes all the difference, and sometimes doing so online in such an anonymous setting is the best way to become more open about it.

I have had some trouble dealing with similar issues and I really do admire you for being so honest with yourselves.

best of luck to all of you.