Those nagging questions and (god damn them) emotions.

Well, finally after two years of nothing goin on in my love life, I hung out with some kid from my school here in Berlin, and we smoked a hookah and a bit of weed...then later that night (after a couple hours, so we were sober by then, but tired) we were sitting out on benches on a canal going thorugh Berlin near my apartment, and we just kinda start kissing.

It was cool. We went back to my aparment...well sort of, we sat down in the stairwell (for two reasons: laziness, because my apartment is alllll the way at the top of the stairs, but it was mostly because if we went to my aparmtent, it wouldnt work out, because I live with a host family, and tehres no fucking walls in the apartment, so they could hear EVERYTHING if we had gone in)...and we kissed more and layed and cuddled..and then Dylan gave his first blowjob...it was quick but still.

Anywho, we then lied around there and kissed and cuddled more, and it was really sweet. Eventually, by about 5 am, we were like "alright its time to go already Im falling asleep" so he gave me his number and left.

I dont know him very well at all. We both go to the same school, and have talked before of course, but still. But me not knowing him too well didnt seem like a problem to me, I just thought that what happened between us would initiate us getting to know eachother more, and thatd wed talk more and chill and all.

But after not having seen him since we "hung out", I came to school yesterday, and I was interested to see how itd be. I saw him as I was a block from the school and we walked together...and then I got the dreaded response...I got the

I-dont-know-you-and-we-randomly-kissed-and-gave-eachother-blowjobs-last-weekend look.

And we havent spoken much in school...we arent in the same grade tho, so we only can chill during our breaks, but I just felt this tension, I felt this whole

oh-dont-let-him-see-Im-looking-at-him feeling. In general, I feel like he is uncomfortable, or maybe just plain shy, or maybe hes thinking "oh god I cant believe I did something nwith Dylan what was I thinking?" I dont know.

Dontchoo hate these situations? But whatever...Im going to talk to him to see if plans we made last week are still up, we were gonna go out for coffee or something.

I just cant tell if he's interested in getting to know me, or if he just wants to forget everything taht happened last week.

 

sounds like an odd situation. perhaps he's just awkward?

yeah, I would try to proceed with the plans that you had previously made. If he doesn't want to, then that will be a clear indication.

 

yeah...Im just going to be friendly to him and tgry and make him feel comfortable around me, and Ill see if hes interested in still chilling...I just wonder if hes interested in trying to get to know me as well.

I need to ask some Germans about this too tho...because tehres definitley different"Traditions" and tendencies in other countries with dating...

 

Bah, that sucks man.

Have you tried giving him a ring? Maybe talking to him over the phone would help.

 

Yeah that does suck.

Your plan should work out. Whether the results are in your favor or not, at least you'll get some kind of answer.

 

I thought about doin it over the phone, but I dont like resorting to that, I figure I need to talk to him face to face, no cheating.

But Ive just thought: hes probably as nervous about approaching me as I am him. And I dont really know him well, so for all I know that could have been his first kiss/blowjob...and that would be enough reason for him to be acting a bit funny.

Whatevah, we'll see.

 

I hope it works out.

Keep the 'ol forums updated.

 

I sure will.

 

Good luck Baby...and congrats !!!!!

 

I like you bubba, ya got a lot a of heart and spirit. I've read some of the things you post and it seems you've got good sense too. You just had a tender moment and it would be nice if the whole world could just kind of sigh and smile with you...Since that probably won't happen, just stay cool and rely on you, that should work. Maybe the kid needs a bit of time to sort things out in his own head. Be patient with both of you. I you were my kid I'd give ya a big hug and a minor "be safe" lecture. Hope all work well for you, yarapa/Steve

 

Er, its not lookin good. i tried talking to him today in school, and the conversation lasted maybe a minute or two, then he turned away to talk to someone else, and so did I.

its weird, I dont get it.
I might call him soon to ask wahts up, because I dont have neough time in school (or the privacy) to ask him. It just sucks trying to explain shit like that in German, although Im fluent now, I still cant say everything EXACTLY the way i want it to sound, but whatever.

 

Hey piano, I've been there before, with out the adequate language skills to fully explain my heart. Tough spot to be in. I hope you have somebody close by that you can talk to so that you're not alone. You've got a place to vent here and the chance to talk with people but having a warm body, face to face, is invaluable at times. Who knows whats going on in the other kids head? He probably has no idea how to sort out his own feelings. Are there any gay-positive groups over there that could be of use for you? You're still cool even if he is clueless, take care.

 

I have no idea what the hell is going on in his head. Ive decided that he defintley is uncomfortable or something, and taht I just need to let him be, and if he decides he wants to talk to me, he will. I think needs space, but at hte same time, Im not counting on him at all to start being interested in me. We'll see...

 

Yeah man I think that might be the best thing to do. When he's ready, he'll talk to you.

Keep us posted.

 

Sounds like he's interested but a little nervous. I mean, if he's around friends, he might not feel comfortable talking about it in front of them.

 

yeah, I have no clue what his deal is. Still. Yesterday tho, he was being friendly, Im starting to think he's just nervous maybe. I need to call him. I did yesterday, but he wasnt home.

 

I think its so wonderful the way you are worrying after him...you are a verry knd and considerate lover.......and he was verry lucky if it were his first time , that it was you !!!

 

It's very common, especially for people of your age, to have second thoughts or possible regrets for actions at the moment. Kissing and cuddling are one thing, but blow jobs are very personal.

I would simply remain friendly, open to conversation, and receptive to anything he might offer. Above all, don't eat yourself up with desire and confusion. I suspect there will be another person in your future.

 

thanks fo rhte advice guys...
nothin new tho on it. Im still planning on calling him tomorrow, hopefully he'll be erreichbar (reachable).

 

Strange things happen when you're very tired... I know that sounds random, but I'm speaking from experience here. I agree with nudedude, that he's probably having second thoughts, don't push him or anything because it's really uncomfortable when you're in that situation. I hope you guys work it out... good luck to you... but if he doesn't want to talk about it, it may be best just to leave him and both of you move on, so you don't make things worse between you.

I can speak German... it's a hard language Good luck, I really hope everything goes well.