Why did I imagine Eastern visions?

I took mushrooms the first time several years ago, after having smoked pot over a hundred times...I had more than my fair share of bad experiences with pot...I am a hypersensitive and paranoid person by nature. I have had several people warn me against pyschedelics but took them any way out of curiousity, after having had a beer or two and a bit of bickering with my boyfriend over something stupid.

I won't bore you anymore with the rest of the details, what I thought and felt, but it was a bad trip. No one had a good trip; dude came over with the shrooms unexpectadly and all of us were together without having another opportunity for such a meeting for months after. Most of these people (the group included my brother and boyfriend) had done shrooms many, many times before. This was my first, and I was very anxious, and scared. I started to freak out, I was mad first at my boyfriend, then at my brother, then at myself. I was scared and wanted to go to sleep but knew I couldn't. Everyone had a bad trip, apparently. But I saw skulls and had weird thoughts about how little we really know and can understand about life. How pointless our intentions and actions are (I was still coping from my mom's death two years before, maybe that was part of it). And I also thought about how little we can trust other people etc and esp ourselves.

When the bad trip was first starting and I went to my room away from other people (my boyfriend followed me but he was very apathetic because he is much bigger than me, took the same amount of mushrooms, and had not started to trip at all) I had these strange feelings and heard this very Eastern style music (I would call it Oriental but that is not a pc term). At the time I didn't think about it but I later when I did I thought Indian, Thailand, something like that. I can not describe the rest of the feelings. I was startled by the blueness of my eyes in the mirror (yes I know you are not supposed to look in the mirror on drugs) and petrified by the music I didn't really hear but it was there, very east south asian (in my mind). The colors and the feeling invoked inside me were of approximately the same region to me. I felt very much like a woman like for the first time in my life. My boyfriend could not understand me...but as I cried because he was so far apart from me, I felt ancient. A part of something older than myself for the very first time in my life (I have never gone to church, I believe in evolution, I know about antropology and archeology).

Later than night, I felt the difference between how I normally am and feel from how the world really is and the reality of everything....and how flighty my reality is from actual consequence.

I don't know anything about the south east and certainly had not been thinking about it (and why would mushrooms that are grown on shit piles have anything to do with the east....opium in the east but acid and shrooms generally have western --or western and eurpoean origins--right)? So why did I have these hallucinations....because that region is the most exotic in my rural western knowledge, more so than Africa or Antartica (and because what was happening to me was the most exotic experience thusfar in my life???) Was it just sterotyical mind associations going on---east is exotic, right. and so I invoked this without having consciously thought of the east as exotic at all? The whole experience did not go on the rest of the night, only those short (five minutes) maybe....it felt very spiritual to me, but I am not a spirtitual person. Has anyone else associated a certain (so called exotic) region of the world with their trip?

 

I've tripped a dozen times, and I felt exotic every trip. My associations were more between exotic and the galaxy (infinity, darkness (darkness not in a negative way, but in a nonjudgement way)). I think it has something to do with the book "hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy" because I was reading that a lot at the time and I really felt the emotional layer in that book. Well, combined with the emotional layer of the book and the exotic place (the galaxy), I felt really insignificant and if you think about it, You ARE insignificant. But that idead didn't/doesn't depress me or something like that. It made me feel very vonerable and sensitive. Like I could cry about anything. And that feels really good! There are a few paralels between our story's, so I hope you can appreciate it.


Maybe a bit vague, but I hope you understand.

Greeting, Davy