How can i get my mom to love me?

My mom is always yelling at me for asking simple questions. I NEVER ask ehr for anything and I'm trying to get a job to help her out yet I get nothing ( I ask for nothing. My bro is a leech but he has the big room, new bed, 5 game stations and over 100 games! Not to be a cry baby but Ive had the same bed since I was 6 (im 14). What do I do?

 

Is it possible for you to talk to her in a calm situation? Maybe you could lift some of the hurt by letting her know how much you love her and are trying to help her out, but you feel like she doesn't return the same feelings. Let her know you aren't trying to show jelousy, but can she see a difference in the way your bro is treates vs. you. The best you can do is just bring it all to the surface. If your mom is under a lot of stress right now she might not even be aware that she is so short tempered. I know that is the case with me and my little ones. I hope this was of some help, let me know how it goes. Chin up

 

thanx

 

Sweetie, I am a mom with a daughter who is nearly your age. I have been having a really hard time lately have been so hard to get along with. I wanted to let you know reading your post made me cry and made me think. Then it made me talk to my daughter and tell her how much I care.

Try and tell your mom how you feel. It's hard at your age for you and it's hard for mom's when their daughters are your age. It's pretty scary to see your kids growing up and getting closer to heading out into the world, as a parent you can get scared that you didn't do a good enough job raising them, you can feel so guilty for things that didn't happen while they were still little, and it also makes you think about your own age and inevitable death.
Talk to your mom. I am sure she does love you, she just might not be showing it the right way.

 

I try but I never do anything to her, I do everything for her that I can. She's always mad at me and treats my secod to the brother that has been nothing but a leech and a creat. I try to tell her how I feel but she makes me feel stupid or ignores me.

 

sweety i think mom loves u in the only way she knows how i think she also doesnt realize your sturuggles and all she sees u as ythe good kid so ignores u while bro is the mooch shes truying to reacjh by givingthings to motivate him. ok face it shes trying but isnt mothering the way u need u have to talk to her make her understand and since its hasrd to even getr her attention u gotta do it in saa way that makes hrerr realixze its not just a mommentary thing but something u think about alot
take a few days and put all your feelings down in a letter to her . otr a book let it be 20 pages if need nbe
but ssay everything
with no appologies exept 1
at the behtginning just say sorry idf any of this hurts u or if you misunderstand and choose not to try to understand what im going throughm but this is the way i see things ..and from that point on stop saying yopur sorry

thats all u do now ois appologize for being you instead of thanking for being recognized for all u do do..
you cant keep appologizing for doing niothing wrong..

 

some people have messed up ideas about what love is or how to show it. this could be the case with your mom.and maybeyour situation is one of those really bad ones and she doesn't love you. I hope not, but it does happen to some people. So I want you to know this sweetheart, that you can love yourself and find love inside even if the people around you who should love you do not. You deserve love and are worthy of love and love is part of who you are.Love who you are, it's ok if she doesn't see the beauty in you right now, you are good enough just as you are and it's ok for you to love yourself.

 

Sweetie, I am a mom with a daughter who is nearly your age. I have been having a really hard time lately have been so hard to get along with. I wanted to let you know reading your post made me cry and made me think. Then it made me talk to my daughter and tell her how much I care.

Try and tell your mom how you feel. It's hard at your age for you and it's hard for mom's when their daughters are your age. It's pretty scary to see your kids growing up and getting closer to heading out into the world, as a parent you can get scared that you didn't do a good enough job raising them, you can feel so guilty for things that didn't happen while they were still little, and it also makes you think about your own age and inevitable death.
Talk to your mom. I am sure she does love you, she just might not be showing it the right way.
_______


Terrapin Rose; you made me cry:-( I am 25, most of my life i hardly had my mom be there for me emotionally or mentally... But just reading that really struck me because i am now a mother of 2. It really wakes you up.

:bigear: Believe me sweetie!! mom may have had a lot of difficulity in her life that you don't know about (your young to understand ) But i know i had the same problem as a child growing up in my moms household. Later did i find out my mom had really bad family issues with her mother and sisters and brothers. Maybe mom is trying to keep things from you but cannot deal with everything at once? Try to keep your chin up i know its difficult . But know in your heart mom loves you in her own special way. Many parents have several ways of showing love and its hard for children to know how their parents really love them . If each and every parent loved the same the world would be pretty bland now wouldn't it . Eh?

Take care if you ever want to Pm just give a shout ..
Take care sweetie

PG

 

But that's the thing, its not like im a normal teen, I dont go out or do anything I have no life and she treats me terrible. Whenever I talk to her about how I feel she always says, "dont u have a book to read or something?"

 

dude she has her own problems and ý thing she cant see u anymore in that shit... u all need professional help (ý mean dr) ý thing ,cus this is a prob which u cant manage it by yourself. take care of your self .. good luck in your life dude..

 

How do you talk to her about it? What exactly do you say? Are you conscious of your words and your tone of voice at the time?

Perhaps you're around too much? I know I can get that way with the hub when he's around constantly. Perhaps she expected that in this time of your life you'd be hanging out with friends and getting outside n' stuff. (Like the parent that has their 20somthing still at home when they'd thought they'd be enjoying emptynest by now) I know for myself, that if I don't get some 'just leave me alone' time I get pissy at those I love.

But as others have stated, your mother is human and has her own problems too and perhaps being 'open' especially to someone she's supposed to be strong to is one of hers. There's a million possibilities.

If talking doesn't work - try writing.

 

Its like a regualr conversation I would say, "Hey mom, do you think..?" or " We could save money if..." Its not like I bother her she talks about her day and her life all the time for the whole bus or train ride and as soon as I say something she gets mad. I always sound peaceful and happy, even when Im mad, the only time the tone of my voice changes is when Im sad. I dont say anything to offend her or anyoneelse. We NEVER spend time with her, I see her for an hour a day just about and thats ONLY for 5 days. I know she has problems but I refuse to believe she could show so much hatered towards her own child.

 

Im sure your mom loves you. Sometimes we take things out on the people we love the most. Specially the people we know will love us anyways. Kind of sounds like your mom is stressed out. I know when my mom and dad argue or my mom is stressed to the MAX she'll yell at me for things, its just stress and she knows I will always help her know matter what. Stay strong

 

Hey, thanks!

 

Yeah, what brand new sould said was a great point.. for a lot of us to remember!

brainstew, maybe you should write your mom a letter... the first time let it all out on page then revise it a couple times for what you really want her to read- maybe find someone you trust to proofread it. Just an idea but it might help you.

 

I hate to sound like such a pessimist, but just as some parents have a favored child, some parents also have the the child they single out to disfavor.

We're in the same position. My mother treats my brother great. Infact, she treats most people great, except me. It's been this way since I was a very young child. I was made to feel stupid and inferior. I had to earn things while my brothers just recieved things for nothing. I was assigned chores when no one else was. I had to go to bed when the others stayed up and watched tv. I was never allowed to voice my opiniono ideas. Even now when I make a simple request such as 'could you please turn down the television while I make a quick call' I'm told that I'm an absurd bitch. I get treated like this despite going above and beyond to try to please my mother and prove to her that I'm worthy. Of course it gets me no where but an endless path of frustration.

Everyone is dealt different cards in life. It's definately not fair, but that's life. We need to be strong and learn to cope with the cards we've been dealt, even if it's a losing hand.

Best of luck. Stay strong. Don't let her get you down. This is HER problem. Not yours.

 

Omg that you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So many people have suggested that it was me and that I was spolied or lazy or doing somethimng my mum didn't like but the thing is she wanted 2 boys and she loves my big bro to death. Sometimes she calls me by his name by mistake. She has millions of baby picctures of him and I have 4. I counted lol. Omg, thanks so much.

 

Brainstew:
I was at the other end of the love/ parent / child, situation.
My mother passed away about 20 years ago. The last time I saw her she told me how much she loved me.
I had to tell her that I didn't love her and hadn't since I was a little boy. That she had been abusive and did not provide an environment for a child to grow up in .
It may seem cruel to say this to a women on her death bed, but I felt it had to be said.
Then again I was 25 years older than you are now.
Looking back at family groups like cousins, aunts, uncles, etc... There was always favorite children , who got more at Christmas, Birthdays...
Guess thats just the way it is. But when your 14 it must be hard to deal with.....