Alright, I have a quick question, but first I need to let you in on some info. Ok, I'm 21, and work as a counter top installer. So every day I am either in people's new houses, or in a house where people are remodeling their kitchen. Before we leave the house, we have to check with the homeowner that the installation is up to their standards. Yesterday while finishing up a job, I walk out of the kicthen and say "Ma'am, would you mind coming in here to check over our work?" Well I guess she was offended by this, cause she replied with "What, do I look like an elderly woman to you? Im not that old!!" I could tell she wasnt being sarcastic either. So my question is: If unsure about the age or marital status of a woman, what is a polite name to call them? I didnt think she was old, maybe 35 or 40 at most, but I didnt want to walk out and be like "Yo woman, come check yo shit", and I figured ma'am was an appropriate address for someone I didnt know.
I dunno why it offends people.. but then again im 16 and I guess it makes women feel old. You can call them Ms. ? Or If you have their last name call them by that. ? Thats all I can really offer. Good luck
I'm 25, I get called ma'am all the time, I dont' mind. of course I also get told all the time that I look a lot younger than 25, so maybe it balances itself out for me. I do know the first time I was called ma'am it definately got to me a bit. I think in your case you were just being polite, people should realize this and not be so overly sensitive.
are you kidding, I was excited the first time I was called ma'am. Admittedly I was all of 15 and it was in a restaurant with my mom (the waitress called me ma'am, I was picking up the bill because my mom had been wonderful about something as per usual). Honestly, other than maybe miss, there's nothing else I can think of that would be less offencive. I'd've just apologized to her and said you meant nothing harmful by it, it was just your automatic term for any female deserving respect.
Yeah, I noticed some women say that and are offended by it. There's nothing really wrong with the meaning, it's just a personal preference for some people not be called maam (maybe they feel it's reserved for older women only?). In any case, I usually just say "Excuse me" without adding "maam" or "miss," as not to risk irritating anyone. Some people have those wierd little hang-ups
I have no problem with the title "Ma'am." It is certainly more polite than "HEY YOU!" which is the common greeting and title from home installers and repair men in Chicago.
lol, Maggie! To be honest, it still kinda grinds on me. I'm getting used to it, though. I already feel enough like an old lady, so it doesn't effect me like it used to.
Bee, you're 23. OMG, you're SOOOOO old. (I'm just messing with you.) I'm more than twice as old as you are, and I don't feel old. Although I am old enough to post on the Old Hippys forum. LOL! Hugs. I am just teasing you. I felt "old" before I had kids, I'm not kidding. Then, suddenly, I felt young again. It may be your bio clock. (And of course, in Chicago, if there is more than one person they are talking to it's "HEY, YOUSE!") Da Bears.........
lol, my bio clock! I know I'm just 23 - I said I *felt* old, not that I *was* old! I think it's just a combo of different things. Like the fact that I'm uber-health conscious all the time, don't eat crap, don't party till all hours, take care of my home and animals, etc. In my whole life, I've never really hung out with people my own age, but as I get older, the gap has grown. These days most of the people I hang out with are in their 50s... And I'm positive that my own parents get down and boogie more often than I do. A lot is probably just because I started really young with everything, and burned out quick. Then again, this is the end of winter speaking. I've been hibernating, creating, laying low, and haven't gone anywhere or done much in months. I'll probably feel different in a couple of months when Spring hits for real. Hugs back atcha, Maggie! I wish my folks were still living up in Chi - I'd love to visit someday!
I don't know why so many people get their knickers in a bunch over every little thing. lol I've been called ma'am and I don't mind it one bit. I think that you just happened to encounter one of those hags who get bent outta shape for the dumbest things. Like those people who have started to protest "merry christmas" because not everyone believes in christmas. So much for old fashion hospitality and tradition...this day in age, the only seemingly "polite" thing to say is, "HEY YOU!" but then, you're going to offend someone by saying that, too. Not everyone is going to be pleased. It sucks. I personally think that you were really polite in calling her ma'am. Obviously she has some aging issues.
Thanks all for the input. I was just kinda thrown off by this woman, because every other lady we install for and call ma'am didnt seem to have a problem....her problem not mine i guess.
