3yr relationship ended.... asking for confort

Hey guys....
So you all understand my situation ill give you alittle backround. Ive been with this girl for three years and we didnt always get along amazing but we were a steady couple, no one ever cheated, no disrespect. However we did fight alot and I found myself always saying "what I would love in another relationship", or what I would do differently in this other (imaginary relationship) so there was definatly alot of disagreement on things.

Now its came to a point where we both love eachother but we have been dragging things out. We both brokeup.

I have been in the worst mental pain ive prob ever experienced in my life (thus being my first serious long term relation) and I want to here from others who have has this happen to them. Dont get me wrong i definatly do NOT want to be with her anymore, but i do still love her to death and I miss every second of the past I had with her.

Every day I take my mind off it as much as possible, its just in the end I find myself falling asleep or waking up crying and Its just driving me nuts. All i need is altitle confort.

Thanks for reading guys/gals

 

Get involved in your own personal growth, work more, save money, get prepared for war Im in the same boat, nothing you can do but occupy yourself.

 

Man, I feel for you. I've been there myself, and am going through it now. I approach it like a quest-- like I'm in training (music from "Rocky" going through my head, hehe). I'm practicing my music more, I'm exercising more, and I'm taking up new activities. Also, I try not to drink too much or smoke too much dope (not too successful with the last one, shit). It sounds like you may be doing that. Also, remember that you're young and will find someone else. Keep your pride up and take care, man.

 

Thanks guys I appriciate the helpful words.

My question is no matter how bad this is when do you usually start feeling better then the first week. When does this completely go away. I just want to know becuase i feel it will get me through this easier.

Thanks
-Tyler

 

you will remember the feeling forever. i'm in a similar situation. The strongest of these feelings will go away with time, though. Keep busy with things you like to do... and get rid of the little things in your life that make you sad (her teddy bear, pillow, trinkets). This helps a little.

 

Sex addict - my wife of many years died suddenly in my arms three years ago. Try living with that one. But life goes on, and after a year I met a wonderful woman, and I have been with her for over 2 years now.

You wil get over it, and be stronger for it.

 

Cutted im sorry for your loss...

This was my first long serious relationship, and you could say she practically took my viginity. Im just lost... idk what to do to many thoughts going through my head.... I just want them to dissappear and when they do be able to think about them and not care.

 

you will feel better in time it will just take exactly that "time"
cutted, so sorry man!! fuck sake!
{{{hugs}}}
l

 

It'll go away with another relationship. I also broke up with a girlfriend of 3 years not long ago. It was tough, but I got involved with someone immediately after. That doesn't mean I'm prescribing that as a solution, however.

It takes a little while to re-learn how to be alone. I'd say accept your feelings, rather than try to get rid of them. Also work on genuine friendships with other human beings and productive endeavors. Things you can build on and feel rewarded from them.

Finally, you had a part in it. Forgive your ex-girlfriend whether she is right or wrong, and try to understand what you could have done better. That way you'll go into your next relationship with greater emotional maturity.

 

Lizziet - thanks for your hug. I have recovered well. She died of "the Irish disease".

 

Thanks again for all your help guys...


Today im not as bad as i was a few days ago. Last time I was posting i was half in tears and just so depressed. So ive been taking my mind off things and everythings becomming alittle easier. I think my problem now is I wont talk to her due to her seriously being the biggest b!tch ever. (3yrs ended in a textmsg....)

Since she absolutly killed me by ending the relationship this way i figured i just dont want to talk to her (im pretty hard headed guy). If i ever bring my self to talking to her i will make sure the first things i say is how stupid she was for texting me a breakup. Pretty much i feel its the fact I wont talk to her anymore thats bothering me the most, I just dont want to see her at all.

Thanks again guys
-Tyler

 

Fexurbis is right. Work on purely platonic relationships. It feels good to do this, especially after a hard break up.

Forgive her for being this way. Things happen for a reason, and there's no other way the situation could have turned out. There's two ways that a relationship like this can end. One is a situation where you hate each other and you each want to hurt the other with words, etc. The other is where you two realize that you still 'love' each other, but maybe you are not in love. You go about your way with no negative emotions. Being friends after this may be hard, but there's still time to be mature like fexurbis said. Love her even though you want to hate her. Forgive her and move on with your life.

 

cutted, sorry for what happened to you. But surely you've been strong.

hey guys, these situations are part of our lives. What's important here is to stay strong even though we may feel weak. Just keep motivated always to continue life. Some may go astray because of sad experiences in their lives. We must not spend our grief times on wasting it. Instead, we must continue putting meaning in our lives.





______________________
motivation Free Report reveals how to develop lasting motivation. Get it here: http://www.getmotivatedstaymotivated.com/special.htm

procrastination Free Report reveals how to beat procrastination forever. Get it here: http://www.procrastinationsolution.com/

 

Sexaddict - If there is any way to end it face to face, and not through a text message, it might provide closure for you, if you can do it in an adult way, without arguing. You might also learn some valuable things about yourself.

 

Re my wife's death, you grow strongest in the cracks, when they are filled in and cure.

 

Just about over a week and a half and I would have to say I go through my days alot easier now, however Im still so stressed because of how much I try and make myself stop thinking about it. About talking to her... Its most likly not going to happen I have nothing to say I ashamed of myself for even being with someone like that for this long.

Im really getting conserned mostly because its screwing with me in school and i cant think straight, i never wanna be home alone, never wanna be alone to do my hw. Everything is so dissappointing all the time now its stressfull.

I just need some female attention and Im gettin nnothing lol.

Thanks for listening again

 

Sexaddict - one of my daughters recently broke up with her boyfriend of four years, and it was hard for her, but she wanted a commitment from him and he would not give it. But a month or so later, she found a new guy, with whom she is really happy. You will find someone, I am sure. There are a lot of women out there looking for guys like you.

 

I'm deeply sorry for your loss...I know how it is to loose a loved one

 

I, myself, probably wouldn't talk to her until all bitterness you hold, even about the breakup, isn't weighing you down so much. This could take time, perhaps a lot of time. Time and new relationships, not in which they have to all be romantic, will help you heal. My advice, don't dwell too much on what happened in the past 3 years, or why you stayed with her for such a long time. That was a part of your life and you more thank likely have grown and learned from those years. Just keep on truckin.

 

Agian I thank all you guys.

Finding another chick to chill with has def. been #1 on my priority list it just hasnt happend yet. I just cant get over anything because my mind isnt free of all this unless im out having a blast with my boy. I was yelled at the other day by my parents because they havent seen me in like 2 weeks... I just cant sit home all the thoughts over come my mind and they drive me NUTS.

Thanks again guys!