A guys guide to breastfeeding?

i found this article and thought it was interesting.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16773635/

I was watching an episode of Friends a few days ago, the one where rachael has her baby and she's breast feeding in the hospital and joey makes some comments and gets all distracted and has to leave the room. It's so strange how we are taught to think certain ways. Is it really that hard for guys to make the separation between breasts and sex? what would you mamas do if you saw a guy looking at you while you were breastfeeding?

its true though too that its almost worse to make a point of not looking

i haven't had any experience with this but if i were breastfeeding my baby and someone obviously disaproved i would be a bit offended.

so it must be pretty awkward for most guys...

 

Very seldom has anyone even noticed when I was nursing my babies out in public, other than moms who nursed their babies. I have certainly never gotten any negative comments, except from my in-laws (and that's a whole different situation). Most people just assume baby is sleeping, especially after baby is more than a few months old. Very few people would assume my toddler is nursing, even when she is. One time a friend peeked inside my babysling before I had the chance to clue him in, and baby popped off the nipple with milk all over her face and grinned at him, and he felt a bit akward about that, but it didn't bother me in the least. I just laughed. I certainly wouldn't let the possibility of anyone's disapproval stop me from doing what is best for my baby, whenever and wherever we might happen to be. Once you are a Mommy, nothing matters more to you than what baby needs.

 

never bothered me but bothered some people...normally random strangers who can just take a hike as far as I am concerned. The majority of people didn't blink at all.

I once had a young waitress in a restaurant, when my little one was one and a half and had fed at the table and then had some boosie, so I had a glass of wine with my dinner...well the faces she was making to her colleagues, sheesh, even the doc told me if I was going to have a glass of wine do it straight after a breastfeed so it could work it's way outta my system. I waited a long time for that glass of wine and didn't appreciate some little uneducated teenager passing comment on me.
My friends didn't give a hoot and if they did they chose not to say anything which was way fine by me...I don't tell them how or when or what they should be feeding their babies. My most hated feeding place which I tried once but then gave it a miss was mothers rooms which seemed so good but for some reason always had stinky toilets attached...what it it with that?!
People looked then looked away, but people do this normally.
Even if I am not breastfeeding and someone stares at my chest I get offended, it's like hey...I'm up here you know!!
Must be hard if you have never seen it before and I have a feeling from the number of people that lock themselves away whilst breastfeeding (of course this is sometimes done so bubba doesn't continually get distracted and rip mummas nipples to pieces continually latching and unlatching) that it is not something that people really get the chance to get used to. I suppose nowadays I am just happy to see them giving the boob and not a bottle if they are able so however they choose to do it is their business.

 

i happily nurse anywhere, with minimal, if any, effort to conceal the fact that i'm feeding a human being. i rather like it when people watch. it either brightens their day and brings a smile or plants a seed to education. i've never had a negative reaction what-so-ever in my nearly 5 years of nursing in public.

 

just to add. imo, breastfeeding is quite sexual in nature. it's the first intimate relationship a person ever has. true, it's a basic need, but it's also very intimate and sometimes personal experiance if a man or woman is turned on a bit while watching a woman a babe/child nurse (as long as it' not like some nasty porn ya know) i think that's beautiful. there's a very fine line between sexuality and bearing/nurturing a child at times.

 

I think it is peoples lack of exposure to breasts in their everyday life and the only exposure they get being from the presentation of them as objects of desire rather than a bit of your body that has a job to do at certain times in your life that leads to the OVER sexualisation of breastfeeding. Sexuality has so much more to do with who you are rather than the bits and pieces that make you up physically, but that I think has so much more to do with how you feel about yourself at these times than what your physical body is up to.
and being a mother is definitely a sexy thing

 

Right, Steph. People, in Western societies have nearly been programmed to only associate breasts with sex.

Seeing them used the way they were meant to freaks some people out. I figure it's their problem, not mine.

I have never had anyone (outside of family) say anything about my breastfeeding in public. I never had anyone make a comment, give me a dirty look ect. I look RIGHT AT people who are attempting to either look at me out of the side of thier eyes, or trying to stare me down, and I SMILE. It can be disarming. What I am saying with a smile is "Isn't this great!?!?!?!?" Only once, did I have a man leare at me. I was nursing Sage in a store, resting her on the side ofthe cart, and being pretty discreet, I thought. The man looked at me, made eye contact and went "heh heh heh heh." BLECH. I ignored him and went into an other aisle, still nursing Sage, she wasn't done yet.

But, usually people say nothing, or smile. A few times I have had old ladies say, "It's so nice to see babies nursing again." That feels good to hear.

 

I wanted to read the article, but the link wouldn't work. Is there any way you could check it and post it?

 

hmm i checked the link and it seems to be working for me... ?

 

.

 

I've never had a negative reaction. I nurse in public, at my parents' house, at family bunch with my male cousin beside me...everywhere.

I don't care what men do. The only man I care about when I am breastfeeding is the man I am feeding... my son. The men around me could dance the jig for all I care. Its probably the first time in my life that I don't mind men looking at my chest, but its the first time in my life that my giagantic boobs have a PURPOSE!

That being said, I do allow for some sensitivity. It makes my stepfather uncomfortable, but just the pre-latched on phase when there is a boob blowing in the wind. So, for that part I angle myself away from him, or toss a blanket over our heads for a second. Mandred won't nurse when he can't see/touch my face. In resturants, I ask for a booth out of the way... but that is also so Manny will concentrate instead of being distracted by passing people.

In a restuarant the other day, I was having coffee with a friend. She had brought her 20 yr old male stepson (for lack of a better term). Manny was hungry, so while talking with my friend, I got Manny ready and then spung a boob. There was a couple seconds while I was exposed, I suppose, before Manny got settled. The 20 yr old said "Wow...". I said "Oh.. sorry. Hope my breast didn't creep you out", thinking a 20 yr old man/boy might be a little freaked out by watching it. He said "Oh, no... your tits are amazing!" My friend kinda yelled at him for that, so he explained that it was amazing to see "boobs in action".... lol.

So, yeah... to recap. Boobs in action are cool, and if people want to stare, they can for all I care. But I wait for the day that someone puts up a stink when my husband is around... he has taken the debate very personally and is just waiting to freak out on someone!

 

"boobs in action"
am loving it, thankyou !!

as to the writer of the article posted, well it sounded like someone who had been indoctrinated to think in a certain way about the female body and was struggling with facing the rality of what our bodies are here for. So lets check in with them in a few years and see if their mind and thinking develops any further!
stephanie

 

The guy who wrote the article, aside from knowing about nothing about breastfeeding (people, who all they can say is "I know it's better for the baby but...." are most usually clueless) he uses a term that pisses me off to no end. "La Leche League Nazis." I'm sorry. Nazis MURDERED people, they commited genocide, they tried to take over the world with Eugenetics and HatredThey destroyed entire villages and tortured womyn, children, old men and everyone else. All LLL does is help mothers who want to breastfeed, and refuse to compromise about the truth. They are NOT Nazis, and I just shut out people who use the word "Nazi" for anyone who does anything less than Genocide. This dude just lost a reader by one, stupid, innaccurate term. What an idiot he is.

 

I think the term he used was wrong, but I do have a problem with LLL now, at least in my area. When I could no longer breastfeed, they stopped inviting me to group, sending me email, basically stopped supporting me and I feel I needed it most then. These people helped create this need in me to give my child the best, and when I couldn't give that to her and needed support in the decision to formula-feed, they abandoned me.

 

Just a note, I believe he was quoting a friend when he used the term "nazi"... not using it himself, if that makes any difference.

 

I admit that I enjoy nice breasts, and as a guy, I feel that this is normal. I do, however, know that there is a time and place for oogeling and such. Breast feeding is no problem, and I don't know why women should feel uncomfortable. It is a totally natural thing.

 

lol. *imagines drummin milk-spraying a guy in the face.

 

I'll second that! My partner (who has quite an appreciation for the female form) works at a fabric store, as one of the only male employees (practically the only one who actually works out on the floor, and not back in an office). Funny thing is, when a momma is bfing in there - he's the only darn person in the place who doesn't freak, oggle, or stare, and doesn't get insulted. He treats the situation like the natural beautiful thing it is, and does his job.

 

People who do this are just wrong. I am a LLL leader, and only know a few who actually have this all or nothing attitude. The LLL leader learning process actually attempts to screem out people who do this kind of uber-judging of non-bf mom stuff. It just bothers me when people stereotype all LLL leaders and all LLL members and LCs as "Nazis." Before I agree to see a client I always ask her, "Do you want to breastsfeed? It makes no differenence to me, but it won't either one of us any good, and will waste your money if you hire me, but don't want to. I won't judge you if you say you don't want to. It's up to you. Only you know what is best for your situation. Don't say what you think I want to hear, tell me what you want, for real." I just hear the "Nazi" word so much. Nazis were such horrible people, did so much damage to so many, there are few who compare to them, and people use the word too loosely, for anyone they personally don't agree with or for people who have strong convictions. IMO, the word "Nazi" should be reserved for people who commit genocide ect.

Sorry for the freak out. Cabin fever. (Below Zero in Chicago, haven't been out in nearly a week, Sage and I have a cold, I'm OTR and feelin like crap. Sorry. )