My girlfriend and I started getting serious and we started talking about our past, which I now regret doing. She's really upset with me because while living in Argentina, my friend and I used to try to pick up girls at the bars together, but more often than not we would both end up back at my place with the same girl. I tried being honest, but I'm not sure what the problem was. Any help would be appreciated.
really, the best bet is to talk it out with her. We don't know her, don't know your guys' situation. To me, eh, it'd be more of a turn on than anything, but I'm a bit of a perv But if she asked for details, then (in my brain at least), the onus is on her to deal with it. If you volunteered the information, unsolicited, it is probably a case of "too much information" and, yeah, I can understand that it would weird her out.
The problem could be too much info. The problem could also be that she now thinks you'll want to "share" her with your friend(s). The problem could alternatively be that she thinks that's gross and/or disrespectful. Not knowing her, or how open she is about non-one-on-one-missionary-position sex, this is a possibility in my mind... Especially if she's wondering whether you and the other guy were stimulating one another or just focused on the woman... And if that's the issue, she may be stressing about whether you're gay or bi, whether she will be "enough" for you, etc. Or she could be assuming that, because it's something that she (presumably) wouldn't willingly do, you two must have pressured these girls into letting you and your buddy take turns on them in a disrespectful way. I'm not sure if it's from tv movies or what, but I do have this image of the typical frat party as winding up with a bunch of "brothers" taking turns on the passed out sorority pledge (either drunk or drugged)... She could be imagining something not quite so horrible, but still disrespectful... Many of us here know that there are plenty of women who are turned on by the though of a MMF threesome, but does she realize this? Instead of "regretting" being open with her, you now need to work on communicating more clearly -- find out what assumptions are leading her to be upset, and discuss those issues.
If you focus on the past, then, thats all your doing, your relationship will go no where, only if you learn from the past, live RIGHT NOW then your relationship will flourish!
That is all part of your life experience. She probably is worried that you may want to do threesomes with her. Assure her that you do not, and that was just a phase in your life, and that you will be true to her and will not seek to cheapen your relationship with her by bringing in someone else.
i reckon this is more to do with the idea of you doing such thing with other woman. I feel really upset about the idea of my boyfriend being with other women in the past, but I can't expect him not to have experience at his age. Your girlfriend is possibly upset about the mental image that your confesion has brought up. If you took this woman more than once, it was because she really did it for you, and your girlfriend wonders if she makes you feel as good, or if you compare the sex you have together with what you experienced with this woman in the past.
Were you bragging? Do you go on about it. Were you acting like a prick making yourself out to be a big man?
just continue to be honest with her. If she doesn't like your past, that's her problem. You could try talking with her about why it upsets her, so you can ease her fears, or you could try finding someone who accepts you for who you are, past mistakes and all.
