Living on our own....for what?

Here's the deal, It's expensive to live on your own, and I imagine quite lonely. I don't see why Americans are so stuck on "making it out on your own." This usually involves struggling and living in a crappy apartment. Last time I checked, that wasn't sucess! Of course, I wonder if it's a cultural thing. My parents are traditional Italians; they would take my leaving home berfore marriage as disrespect for the home they've provided me. Many Asians I met in college live in multi-generational homes. I think this is a positive thing. When several of my family members sold their homes, they sold them to Asian families, who purchased their houses (worth between 70,000-170,000) in CASH. Meanhile silly Americans are struggling with 30 year mortgages. Maybe Americans cannot see the value in sharing homes. Why is that do we gain some sort of pride by doing it on our own? Every man for himself ( what a load of ... )!What if we could do better as a multi-generational family all contributing together? Does anyone else agree?

 

It's not just America. You can choose your own lifestyle. But for most people, living on one's own means freedom and it can boost your self-esteem.

 

Well, my mother has seemed to be under the impression that a child is just an 18-year responsibility, and if you'd look at my age over there on the side, you'd see, my expiration date has well passed. People move out on their own for different reasons, and I'm in the process of doing so myself, because I no longer feel welcome or at home in my parents' house.

 

That's sad. My parents have always said the only reason they'd want me out is if i did drugs or seriously disrespected them... I don't do either. How about you? are you still in school? i know some peoples parents won't let them stick around unless they're getting some sort of education. I can kind of relate to that...

 

That's sad. My parents have always said the only reason they'd want me out is if i did drugs or seriously disrespected them... I don't do either. How about you? are you still in school? i know some peoples parents won't let their kids stick around unless they're getting some sort of education. I can kind of relate to that...P.S. KinkyRamona, you're so pretty

 

Yeah but it can be a personal choice. I see no problem with extended familes that live together, such that is more common in other cultures.... in fact, sometimes I'm jealous and wished my mom would have let me stay on a day longer then when i turned 18 but she didnt want to be a mother- her problem.

Anyways ..... living on your own has the benefits of freedom, privacy, your own space and such things that are very important to me. Living with others has its own benefits though too of community, help, etc.

One way is not any better then the other way if it's what the person choses.

 

Yeah but it can be a personal choice. I see no problem with extended familes that live together, such that is more common in other cultures.... in fact, sometimes I'm jealous and wished my mom would have let me stay on a day longer then when i turned 18 but she didnt want to be a mother- her problem.

Anyways ..... living on your own has the benefits of freedom, privacy, your own space and such things that are very important to me. Living with others has its own benefits though too of community, help, etc.

One way is not any better then the other way if it's what the person choses.

 

Yeah but it can be a personal choice. I see no problem with extended familes that live together, such that is more common in other cultures.... in fact, sometimes I'm jealous and wished my mom would have let me stay on a day longer then when i turned 18 but she didnt want to be a mother- her problem.

Anyways ..... living on your own has the benefits of freedom, privacy, your own space and such things that are very important to me. Living with others has its own benefits though too of community, help, etc.

One way is not any better then the other way if it's what the person choses.

 

Yeah but it can be a personal choice. I see no problem with extended familes that live together, such that is more common in other cultures.... in fact, sometimes I'm jealous and wished my mom would have let me stay on a day longer then when i turned 18 but she didnt want to be a mother- her problem.

Anyways ..... living on your own has the benefits of freedom, privacy, your own space and such things that are very important to me. Living with others has its own benefits though too of community, help, etc.

One way is not any better then the other way if it's what the person choses.

 

family is not just closed to your blood realitives...my friends are very much people i love dearly and i consider family..better family at times than my own...my father tells me constantly to move out, often as a joke but every joke has some truth to it...my mother is ukrainian she grew up with 5 siblings and both sets of grandparents along with her own mother and father...big family and so she does want me and my brothers to stay but the simple fact is, everyone needs to grow up and move on...i pretty much have spent the last couple of years (however generous my parents have been...) i've pretty much spent these years miserable...money is what is keeping me here..i'm obviously not gonna move out until i can support myself .. but everyone has their own reasons for wanting to living out on their own...and how many people my age or even your age, how many of them are actually living on their own?..most people move out into appartments and houses with other people..and even further some people are more comfortable living on their own with their own space
i understand where you're coming from, but maybe you should open yourself up to other ways of living, you don't have to live that way..but don't think everyone is gonna want to live the way you do

 

I didn't have a choice in being on my own. My parents were divorced for years and my mother up and left out of the state chasing after yet another failed romance and I wasn't about to go with her. I was 19 years old then. My husband (then fiance) moved in with me when she left.

 

i still live at home. i also go to school. when i left school for a semester (last fall) i lived at home and they didn't force me to work. i worked with my dad a few times a week and once that work was done, i stopped with him. and then i helped babysit my nephew. but they didn't want any money from me or anything.

now, heres what i'm thinking i'm gonna do after graduating:

1) live at home for a bit - i'll help out with some rent money when i get a full time job and then most of the money i make will go to paying off student loans and investing in mutual funds and maybe a market money account - the MM account because its pretty liquid and easily transferrable into a checking account.

or

2) go in with a few friends and purchase a house

#2 will be hard because most of my friends are going to be Officers in the military, so it looks like #1 will happen.

 

I have a choice, but to be honest I don't get on that great with my parents, so I moved out when i was 18 and it was the best thing i have ever done
S

 

Honestly, for me, being on my own was the best thing for me as well. I mean, I love my mother, but...there were many issues going on and it just wasn't a very stable or emotionally healthy environment. It was a definite positive change for me, one I'm grateful that happened when it did.

 

You've made some very cogent points, but there comes a time in the life of every adults when you just know it's time to move out. I even think there might be a biological basis for the decision.

Sorry but at 30 I'd rather find myself stuck with a 30 year mortgage, than have as my mantra "Just Shoot Me, Please"



Hotwater

 

In the 60's everybody had their own apartment, the thing was, the generation gap, your parents were the establishment and we were hippies, move out on your own and be free of the establishment.

Nowadays this isn't the case, real estate has skyrocketed, the price of rent is up(everyone wants to get rich off rent) utilities, food, the cost of living is up. Alot of people can't make it cause it's just too expensive. In the 60's you could at least get by with a job and an apartment.

Nowadays it's the norm for people over 18 to live with their parents, and a lot of them are doing it. Even with college degrees, they just can't afford it. It seems that the traditional Italian and Asian families have the right idea, and I respect em for it, multigenerational homes. In Tokyo Japanese families have been known to take out 3 generational mortgages, housing prices are so high, that's grand parents, parents and children. That's like a hundred year mortgage!

It's been said that the time is coming in the USA when the average house will cost 1 million dollars! We're getting close.


So what killed the hippie movement? The economy!





Bustramp

 

I am on my own because I want to go to college and the university of my choice was in a different state where I have no family. Also, I didn't want to be a burden on my parents. As well as the fact that they don't think I should have sex until I am married and living with them would cause some complications in that aspect.

 

My family was the same way...so I got engaged very young and moved out, partially so I could move out. Now I am living back at home...and I hate it. I was paying rent when I was working but I lost my job so...now I have to live at home. It not being a choice anymore is choking me, but I am hoping that will change on Tuesday and if it does I cannot wait for feb 1st so I can live alone again.
I don't like roomates unless it's somone I really know, my friends are all married down here and I'm single so living alone is kind of my only option if I want to maintain my sanity besides living at home

 

I love being independent, being responsible for my own place, being the only person making major messes or feeling at least like there's a 50/50 split in household duties as there was back when I had a roommate instead of a mother to live with. But I'm still in school and currently unemployed, so me moving out will likely have to wait til I get a decent job and can afford it. Thankfully cost of living in my neck of the woods is awfully low so I should be able to move out as soon as I get a full time job, so long as I'm careful about where I live (I lived on my own my first year of uni, when I was 17, only working 30 hours a week on top of a full course load, because I'm just awesome like that )

 

Your parents are not going to be around forever to take care of you and clean up after you. It's one thing to be single and still live with them to save money, it's another to sponge off of them and never learn how the washing machine works...

We have a mortgage and so what? That is how you buy a house when you haven't won the lottery...