I can't...finish...

Okay, so, this is embarassing, but here goes. I was a virgin before my girlfriend, and now we've had sex about 4-5 times. There's just one little problem. I can never "finish". For some reason I just can't seem to. I'm not really nervous or anything... And I'm definetly turned-on enough. We'll go at it for up to 45 minutes or so, and still nothing from me. We'll always have to stop because she just doesn't have the energy to go on anymore. Meanwhile I'm still ready to go. Trust me, I'm plenty aroused the entire time, but its like, I just keep on going, like the damn Energizer bunny, and I can never finish! Its really starting to almost worry me, and it even gets my girlfriend sad and angry at herself because she thinks she doesn't turn me on enough. So, what could be going on? Why is it that I just can't seem to do that???

 

Butters - if you are wearing a condom, perhaps it is not sensitive enough - get an ultra sensitive one. If you are not wearing a condom (you should be), perhaps you are afraid of getting her pregnant, and are holding the orgasm back. Perhaps you need more foreplay before you enter her. If you are not circumcised, does your foreskin retract fully? If not, you may not be getting enough sensation on the glans to orgasm.

Can you masturbate to orgasm? Have you had other girlfriends where this was not a problem?

Let us know what is going on.

 

Okay, lots of questions to answer...haha

Yes, I was wearing a condom everytime...but once... and I'm allergic to latex, so I even use the ultra-sensative non-latex ones. Even without a condom, I still did not feel myself anywhere close to going.

I am circumsized.

Yes, I can masturbate to orgasm, fairly easily. I've even tried cutting down on that, and still no difference.

I was a virgin before her, so I've never had any past experience. Although my ex could make me orgasm from a h/j...but it took a while...

And like I said, I doubt its from me being nervous or anything, because during the act, I never go soft, not even for a second.

 

foreplay foreplay foreplay
Even guys need it!
What about dirty talking? I mean, I know you guys have to be quiet due to neither of you living on your own, but you could whisper sweet nothings (or raunchy nothings heh) into each others ears, it might turn you on more.
Does she do anything during intercourse, other than enjoy it? I mean, does she run her hands up and down your spine, kiss/lick your neck, grab your butt, any of that stuff?

 

think of the dirtiest thoughts and images you can when you are ready to climax

 

You always seem to know how to help me, ihmurria You have some good points that I haven't thought of...

She's not big into foreplay yet, she claims because her ex was a no-nonsense "put it in and be done" kinda guy...so she isn't used to it...so...we don't do much foreplay. Just kissing and a little hand exploring, but nothing more than that...

I LOVE dirty talk, and she doesn't really do much. She'll say a few things, but I normally have to ask her "does this feel good" for her to say anything at all, past "oh god, oh god" over and over again...

And no, she doesn't do much during sex...she just kind of enjoys it. She'll pull my head down to kiss me, but thats about it. I'd love for her to move her hands around, maybe some butt grabbage would be nice... But she doesn't do any of that at all...

 

My big problem is... I can't really tell her these things, because if I try to, she gets really upset, stops everything she's doing, and starts pulling the "so what I do isn't good enough for you" stuff...

 

the truth is butters, I'm not sure she is good enough for you, she sounds a bit like a pain

find a girl who you love AND can have pleasing sex with

PS, her old boytfirend sounds like a fucking idiot, you rock over him, get her so excited that she pushes her own boundaries, or dump er as she is a cold fish...be the man you can be

 

Eh, thats just not a path a take... I love this girl so much, that the love really takes center stage... theres really no way I could ever leave her just because I can't get off during sex..

 

Your a good man ...

Most guys would ditch the bitch, haha.

 

I would have already dumped the non-ho

 

Well, if you can't cum after nearly an hour, and you're trying to reach orgasm
Then yeah, what she's doing probably isn't good enough. Just because her ex was wham-bam-fuck-you-maam kind of guy doesn't mean you don't want to be more involved in your love-making with one another.

It could start off as small as things like "I love when you...." whatever ... is, be it touch your back or whatever. Positive reinforcement. Just realize that that route takes a lot longer than simply suggesting things that you think would be fun.

Or you could make a game out of it.. you two have to spend 15 minutes each touching each other, no sex no kissing, just exploring one another... first 15 you explore her then the next 15 she explores you. It's a good way to get foreplay started up.

 

Shave! Shave Manda!



Beat self,

Stoshowik

 

A few thoughts for you.
First, maybe get a bit more worked up before sex... make out some more, etc. And second, maybe try to get her a bit more into it as well. If she's used to "no-nonsense" sex, maybe try to up her level of enjoyment too. I find that being next to a girl who is on the edge of an orgasm drives me wild... whereas I'd be hard-pressed to enjoy myself at all if she were unenthusiastic. So if the two of you are comfortable enough, maybe try doing some things for her while you're at it--maybe use your hand to stimulate her clit while you have sex. At least for me, the other person's enjoyment hugely impacts my own.

Good luck, I hope it works out well. That's mostly my advice. Get her more excited about it. And get more worked up beforehand, that ought to help too.

 

I've actually tried that, but when I try, she stops me, and says that she'd get way too loud if I did that (and if you read my other thread, that would be a bad idea...)

 

Try doing it faster, a lot faster and stronger !!!
maybe you're just doing it too slow...

 

Maybe the problem is you worry about others in your household breaking in on you, and it affects your ability to cum.

Also, it seems like your gf sees sex as a chore, and if this is so, and she will not listen to your attempts to broaden your mutual pleasure, it will only get worse.
Keep trying for a while, but if it does not improve, dump her.

 

Okay, I just want to ask a question. And I'm not trying to be mean to you, Cutted, please don't take offense. But lots of people are saying this...


Why should I dump someone just because of a lack of good sex? I'm just wondering...

 

You shouldn't.

 

Yea, my opinion too....

I don't understand why sex seems to have such an overhold over love nowadays....