This is long but I really need advice

deleted

 

You want to be with him why exactly?
He lied
He doesn't stand up to you
He's manipulative
He uses the threat of suicide to try and control you
He hasn't fought for this relationship at all
He whines

... is he amazing in bed or something? Because you could turn him into a fuckbuddy if that's the case and not deal with this emotional crap.

 

I agree with ihmurria. That's just too much bullshit to have to put up with. Luckily you've only invested 8 months in him - it could be worse...you could stay with him for years and put yourself through even more crap. I rarely tell someone straight out that they should break up with someone, but I'm gonna say it: dump him, and get away from him before it's too late and too much damage is done. This is not a healthy relationship. This is a struggle of emotional control. This isn't love, it's codependency at a scary level. He seems to exhibit signs of someone who could become abusive. You may think it could never happen, but it does. It may be hard to let go, but you will thank yourself later.

If you choose to break up with this person (which is the right choice), this isn't a case where you can be friends. Sorry to say this, but he will always try to control you emotionally through suicide threats and the like. This is a guy who really shouldn't even be in a relationship until he can figure his own shit out. Make it a clean break, and don't maintain contact with him. If you have to, get a new phone number, change your locks, etc. Tell him straight out that you do not want contact. Don't break up with him at yours or his house, meet in a public place where you can be on neutral ground, and lay it out straight. Don't resort to namecalling or anything mean, just staight out say that it isn't working out, and that you'd like to go your separate ways. You have a right to decide who you will associate with in life, and you are under no obligation to remain in contact with him. If you want to, bring a friend for moral support to just be around (he/she doesn't have to be right there as it's happening, just be in the general area to kind of be a lookout in case things get too dramatic - in fact, it could be harmful if the friend is sitting at the table as you're breaking up with him). Tell him you'd like to arrange a time and place that's neutral in order to exchange your things with each other and say a permanent goodbye.

You said it yourself, you aren't happy. You don't trust him. He's trying to be better, but people like him have a tendency to drop the ball and go back into old habits again. Get out while you can, seriously. I have experience with a relationship like this, and it lasted for years simply because I didn't have the balls to break it off due to his emotional manipulation of me. I wish I'd broken it off before the 8 months point. Believe me, the longer you are with him, the more painful it will be.

 

Ugh, breakups in public are horrible. I've only ever had one that happened in public and, well, I hate crying around other people so the fact that I was crying out in a public part was unbelievably humiliating (and not in a fun way)

If you have to resort to public, find a nice secluded spot where other people can't overhear/see what's going on too easily, because breakups are bad enough without adding public humiliation into the equation. If you're genuinely afraid of doing it at one of your houses, then the best bet is to either do it over the phone, or to have a toughass friend in your house in another room who can forcibly remove the soon-to-be ex if need be

 

You do make an excellent point, Ihmurria. It's such a catch-22. I have had bad experiences with breaking up at home because the person started freaking out and smashing my stuff because of me wanting to break it off, so I guess I'm paranoid. Having a friend in another room is a good idea, though.

 

Piss in his shoes when he's asleep and then leave him a "Dear John" letter.