Making the effort to talk to girls

Is this guy a gimmick or what?

 

Well supposing I was interested in a girl, that's the way i'd go about it as well, and it would probably be the best way as well - I had that in mind, but the hardest bit is the starting it off, but once you're in the middle of it, it isn't as difficult.

 

NO!!!

 

You reckon?

.

 

An easier way would be to say, what's going on at the sports center?

If they don't have a good answer, their not doing a good job.

Find out what classes they have going on today, and say, 'I'm going to talk to the instructor.'

Talk to the instructor, and ask if you can check out their class. Say you're intrested in it, but don't know much about it.

Hpw about a dancing class. Your school probably offers one, good way to meet lots of girls, talk, get your feet wet, and girls like a guy who can dance.

Problem solved.

 

Seems as it's still in the middle of the year, I can't exactly join in a class now.

As for a dancing class, I'M NOT GAY AND I'M NOT BILLY ELLIOT!!!


Also, the lads will make fun of me and i've got my pride to think about, so I don't want to do something that involves making a fool of myself or having to wear tracksuit pants and t-shirts or some other daft clothes!!!

I'm too smart for all of that and other than that, I can't think of any other hobbies that i'm able to do at college.

 

I'm not gay either. I like dancing with women.

You're asking for advice, and then you get hostile when people try and give you advice.

You're in college. It's 2007. I've seen thongs in winter. There are tons of girls, your problem is your inhibitions.

There are lots of girls in your classes. Get in a lab with a few cute ones, ask a cute one for help in a class.

Your not going to get anywhere when your so defensive though. Let your guard down, chillax, and meet some girls.

 

Thing is Chris, you need an attitude adjustment. If I was a skinny, pretty and serious girl (your type let's say) I would still think you were a shallow and immature weiner. If I was the same person on the inside, only in a large, overweight, different clothed or coiffed body - you wouldn't give me the time of day.

If you liked a girl who was your type, she could never grow, never change, never branch out and be confident, never get fat, never get taller, and never have friends around that bother you and trigger your anger.

Who wants to be with someone as shallow as you are, no matter what they appear to look like to you?

That's the thing. If you have no respect for people of all shapes, colours, sexual orientation and sizes, how can any woman want to bring you home to meet her parents exactly?

Chances are girls have fat friends, family members, they have tall and talkative parents, and gay siblings - and some day you yourself are going to be out in the workforce among them.

You are on a path of dismissing/accepting a type of person before you are actually getting to know them.

That's so lame and immature.

Women are looking for men that are patient, kind to others who aren't always kind, and understanding. Women want someone who will be good to them and good for their children.

You're not trying hard enough to actually get to know the person inside each woman you see around you. You assume the tall girls stare at you and think they have all the confidence in the world because they were born with large breasts and receive a lot of (usually unwanted) attention. You think nasty thoughts and want to tear them down, you want teach them what it means to hurt, and to put them below you... and the truth is you just want to destroy something beautiful...

Grow up and get to know anyone waiting in the bookstore line ahead of you, instead of b-lining for something superficial.

 

I like dancing with girls/women, especially if they were pretty though.

Yes, I can be hostile at times, but it's the way I react and i'm really defensive and the reason I gave disagreeable responses in that way is because I strongly disagree and I don't want people to tempt me or force me to consider.

Well I wouldn't mind seeing thongs, short skirts and low-cut tops in winter, and i'd love that any time of the year, and as I said previously, I can be really defensive and yes, my problem is my inhibitions.

Well there was two girls in my class last year, but they've left college now and this year, there's only ONE girl in my college class, and she's not cute or anything. I was rather disappointed knowing that there aren't any cute girls in my class, and I can't get in a lab with them, and I just hope that they'll be some next year.

I'm not sure if most cute girls do hair and beauty or whatever, but they don't all do sports from what i've seen.

Well I can't help being defensive, and my pride is at stake and I can't afford to chill out because it's alright having a laugh in college, but when it comes to being out there in the big wide world in a job, your employers will want to see you working and not having a laugh.

I just wish that a cute girl would see right through me and realise i'm not as bad as I make out and that they can talk to me like other lads.

This is hard for me, and I don't know whether to even bother going over to the sports centre now and finding about what classes are available to do.

 

Like I said in the above post, buck up and change your attitude.

 

If you wanted people to see a nice side to you why would you "make out" that you are bad? unless as i said, you're setting yourself up for hurt so you feel like you have a reason to hurt other people

 

Exactly

And Chris, about the dancing
Ballroom dancing can be a great way to meet people. My university offers it to students, you don't need to bring a partner with you and you end up swapping partners throughout the lessons a lot. One of my ex's took ballroom dance and took me to a few of their suppers/dances, they were quite fun

Also, if Lodui asked me to dance with him, I would say yes in a heartbeat. Why? He has an AMAZING attitude towards life and towards women. He treats people with respect, even over the internet, even people he's never spoken to before (ie when we first started chatting some). This was before he put up some pics of himself, before I knew much of anything about him. His sheer take on life. He's open and interesting, respectful and worth speaking to.

 

Fair enough comment I suppose and i'm not going to argue with that.

 

I love ballroom dancing! I took it in high school still remember enough of it to look cool at galas.
I agree with what you said. People need to take control of their own life-that's sexy.

 

what pride are you talking about? what about you are you prideful about?

i wish i remembered what i learned in my dance class. i took 2 years of dance and can't remember a thing because i thought it was a joke back then - how wrong could i be. theres nothing "gay" about dancing.

i wear sweatpants, and workout pants all the time, same with t-shirts. they're comfy. i also know how to dress for occasions, like a nice dinner, i'll dress up. if i'm just hanging out, i'm not gonna get all dressy to just chill in a friends room.

you don't have to do a sporting activity...maybe they have a photogrpahy group or monty python group or an activist group. check some things out, put yourself out there, meet some people and stop being so uptight about everything.

 

Well sorry if i'm not clear enough - What I mean is my reputation INSTEAD of pride.

My reputation will be destroyed and then i'll be all softened up and I don't want people thinking they know me inside out.

Also, i've been thinking about things i'd like to do, and i've been interested in the Administration course (in the I.T. area on PCs) and I spoke to the tutor about the course and she told me what it involved doing, such as going out there into the work place and working in an office and having to answer the phone and experience the work life.

I was also interested in Psychology as well, and I spoke to the tutor who does it, and she explained what it involved doing, and that it involved doing stuff such as stress, how the mind works etc and having to type up essays. There was a particular class in psychology where you had to be at least 19yrs old or older to enter, or there was this other class, but a lot of 16yr olds would be in there and she didn't think i'd like the idea of me being there with a load of 16yr olds.

I've also been interested in doing Art & Design, and i've thought things that would appeal to me that i'd be good at. I got a C grade for Art in my GCSEs, but i've yet to hear from the relevant tutor. I've had 2 out of 3 responses so far, so that's a good sign.

I might look on the college website for other courses that i'm interested in, and the way i've managed to get in touch with these tutors is by letting my class tutor know, then she's e-mailed that relevant tutors and arranged for me to meet them.

I've not made a decision, and i'm just keeping my options open, and even though i'd like to continue in this I.T. area and aim for a future job in it, i'm getting a bit bored of it, as the timetable for the current year (this year) is the same as it was last year - I feel like I need a change, but I can't afford to go so far and then as soon as it's difficult just chop and change and drop out of what i'm doing. I need to stick at something, and aim towards getting as far as I possibly can. If I don't like the course i'm doing, I can't change mid-way through the year, so I need to really think about it, but I just don't know right now. I need to make my mind up soon because by the end of the year, 16yr old school students leaving school will put in application forms going to the college and applying for places and I don't want them to get in ahead of me and ending up there in my place at my expense.

 

Ahhh I don't know, Spence, dancing is pretty gay haha.

 

Well there is this program on BBC1 that is on once a year called "Strictly Come Dancing" and most of the professional MALE dancers look and sound gay, and IMO, dancing appeals to gay men, and they have the flexible bodies like women, where they can do all the sharp moves and body postures etc.

 

I danced from the time I was 8 until I went into college. Trust me not all dancers are gay. There is nothing at all gay about dancing. I dated guys that I daned with.

You really need to understand what being gay is and how people preceive you as a person. I know you aren't gay we all know that, but you are so closed minded about what people preceive as gay you can't do things you want or be yourself because you are scared about what other people see. IMO fuck what other people think. I dress the way that I want to, I do what I want to, I am the person I am because it makes me happy. I don't care what other people think about me. If someone is going to like it is going to be becuase of the person that I am. There is no way I am going to chage myself to make someone else happy. You need to learn to be yourself and other people will see your confidence and take notice.

 

I'm assuming you're female due to your username? - Am I right?

If so, you're right in a way, but the person I am now IS myself, and I can't be doing will all the funny looks and i'd carry on living like this and it's no hardship - I mean give me this any day ahead of going all soft and feeling soft.

Well it's alright for you, as you're not some misfit, whereas i've never quite fitted in and will always be perceived as some weirdo and an outsider no matter how I behave.

I'm going to carry on like this, and despite what everyone says, it's the best way for me, and long may that continue.

I was different when I was a young lad at primary school, and I got bullied and I wasn't mature enough or clever enough back then - I don't need people giving me shit, and i'd rather die than put up with all the shit that everyone throws at me.

That day back in September when I spoke to the 3 girls, I felt fine afterwards and happier than I felt in a long time, but I was angry with myself for going soft and mellowing, so then I started getting all serious again.

Later on that particular when I got in the taxi to get home, a girl sort of looked at me as if she thought I was weird, and one other particular morning when getting out the taxi to go INTO the college building, a similar sort of girl looked at me funny.

See what I mean about getting funny looks and shit thrown at me? - I'M A MISFIT WHO NEVER FITTED IN WITH THE WORLD AND THAT'LL NEVER CHANGE.

I JUST CAN'T COPE WITH IT!!!