*Sigh* My parents are so stupid and narrow-minded, I've been going natural for a little more than 3 months, and now my mom gave me two choices; either comb your dirty hair out (Oops, I should have mentioned that I only wash w/ water and that you don't need shampoo XP) or go to the salon and get a new haircut. And yes, I did bring up some smart responses (basically things that's been mentioned in the "angry mom"-thread and on k-locks), but she just wouldn't listen, and I always started to laugh when she said that "You know you're not gonna get dreads like Bob Marley, you don't have that type of hair" My reply was: "I don't wanna look like bob marley, but that doesn't mean only black people can get dreads" And so on and so on, but anyway, my mom's too stupid to understand anything. So anyway, I won't give up having dreads (I've been fighting over this since last summer), so I combed my hair, and I must admit, having non-knotty hair feels really good too But I'm planning to let it grow to the length where all of it can be put behind my shoulders, and then I will grow natural again. Or I might just spontaneously backcomb my hair (Seriously thinking about it, tired of loosing weeks of natural locking over and over again) Oh, one last thing: I post here because I can't remember my password at knottylocks XD (My nick there is Fogel)
Oh, did I mention she thought about taking me to a psyciatrist or something like that =S? When I ask her why she would do such a silly thing, she says I'm "weird" and trying to get dreads won't work and that I'll get dirty hair w/dust in it if I don't brush... WTF?
Yeah, my parents are crazy when it comes to having dreads too. My parents threaten me to go to therapy every time i do something out of the norm. When I told them I was vegan... a couple months later, they told me they thought i was mentally ill and that i need to go seek help. Now, with the dreads... they are going to say the same thing again. How old are you??
I feel ya on the losing months of natural knots. Happened to me once, but then I just convinced mah madre that there were better things to argue about and that my hair didnt make me any less of a person. So she finaly caved and doesnt bother me much now..
I can't decide: Backcomb all my hair now, or continue to brush 'til it reaches a certain length (when I can atleast have all my hair behind my ears). Help me? I'm 16, and convincing my parents to let me form natural locks won't work, they're more like "No matter what hairstyle you have got, it should be taken care of" :C
could it possibly be your attitude that is half the problem? How can you expect your mother to respect you as a human being if you don't offer her the same courtesy? Nobody wins a power struggle. Successful people know how to find a mutually-agreeable solution to any problem, rather than insist that theirs is the only way. Stop fighting her about it, you'll never win. Figure out a solution to your situation, working together with her instead.
that's what i was thinking too mb chill out, do some research on how to care for your hair because, at some point, you really should wash it, or at least your scalp. Talk calmly with your mom about her reasons and your reasons and also take a look at other aspects of your life. I find it fairly hard to believe that your mom wants to take you to a shrink JUST because you want dreads
try and make a compromise....bring up grades, do more aroudn the house etc. Something that she wou ld a ppreciate a lot
Dude, no wonder your parents think dreads are dirty. Yours WERE dirty. You should wash your hair at least once a week with dreads. The locks actually tighten up faster and better if your hair is clean. Also, show your mom respect. You might have to wait til you're older to be knotty, and that's fine. Grow your hair now, take care of it, and when you're older you can do whatever you want. I'm actually glad I waited til I was an adult to grow mine, because I get way less flack about them (like, none) now than I would have as a teenager.
idk man you are in a tight spot. It seem slike you and your mom have horrible communiation. And since she is the parent therefore you loose. Work on communication, the rest wil fall in place, at least it did with my mother
Calling your mom stupid, man...not cool. Love your parents, you know? I know what its like to be 16 and all, but come on. Your parents aren't mean or stupid for not wanting you to get dreads. They're PARENTS for not wanting you to get dreads. Can't expect her to be a cool hippie about it...so you have to work with your mom on this one. My parents reacted the same way when I told them I was doing dreads. Except I waited until college to do it...I'm glad I waited. Your mom just wants the best for you, and an alternative hairstyle does come with social difficulties, especially in high school. She doesn't want people giving you a hard time or whatever. IMO that's the bulk of it. That and you had dirty hair! Boyo, dirty smelly hair is not the way to get dreads, and its not the way to go. So yeah, its understandable that your mom reacted the way she did. I saved tons of pictures of nice, well cared for dreads and made a slideshow for my parents, told them all about the history of dreadlocks, my spiritual and personal reasons for wanting them, and dispelled some myths that they believed. Mind you, I wasn't asking permission...I'm an "adult" now. But I live under their roof and I wouldn't want to just walk upstairs one day and surprise them with a head full of knots. And its nice to have parental support. The magic words were "If they don't work out, it IS possible to get rid of them. Lots of conditioner and patience, and I'll have free flowing hair again." Of course, if you're going with the neglect method then its a different kind of process. Bargain with her, make compromises. So wash your hair, stop being a butthole to your mother, and school yourself on the proper methods and maintenance of dreadlocks. Make sure you've got a solid reason for wanting them, and open up to her about it. If she says no, she says no...but I promise you that she'll listen if you talk to her rationally...like she's a freaking human, dude. You sound really harsh talking about her, you know? I can't imagine how you talk to her in person. Love the parentals...they're all you've got and they love you more than anybody else on this planet.
The thing is that: - I did wash my hair when it was needed (sometimes even more than needed, I love taking showers:drool ), and therefore my hair WAS clean (but it didn't smell so much shampoo, my frequently-shampooing-parents reacted to that :/) - I have LOTS of good reasons to get 'em, just having a hard time getting all of them out to my parents (love your slideshow-thing, maybe I'll try it ) - I DO love my parents, and I wish them no harm, and I do not see why someone would like to be the rebel-against-his/her-own-parents-type; I think that's wrong. Calling my mom stupid was something I did out of "rage" back then (and only in my own head, didnät say it to her).:rainbow: Well... as it is now, I have two choices: - Backcomb, love the look of it and how you get the feeling of being able to "control" your hair while doing so. - Going natural, love the look of that aswell, plus it will have more meaning to me doing so than backcombing (however, I'll have to work on my parents a little more to be allowed to do so, I think) - Go natural
All of that's good to hear. Personally, I think that backcombing is better as far as parents go...you get better looking hair sooner. At least I did. I've heard some peoples' unravel when they backcomb, but mine haven't yet. Its up to you, if you can convince your parents to let you do the natural way, I think its worth it. what I did is I left the majority of my dreads un-dreaded from the root on..just knotted up the roots. they're coming together on their own the way a natural-grown dread would, but it looks better when I pull it back than a completely undreaded head would. If that makes sense. I wear my hair back when I'm going out to...that makes it look a lot more conservative. Dreads don't have to look like a big rats nest all the time. Let your parents know this. Good luck, I hope you win this battle! Be patient, I'm sure if your parents see your level of dedication they'll be impressed.
