.... Heres what I think about dear old dad, that he is cheating on my mom. I thought this for some time, and shes had her own suspicions herself. Heres some background to help you understand a bit better. Growing up my parents fought constantly never a day without it. Mentally and physically my mom was a victim to my dads abuse. I remember one instance since my childhood is one big blur to me. My father went out to Macdonald's which was just down the street. It was snowing out that night and was about on foot a 30 min walk. My dad took the car, my father then called and said he locked the keys in the car. Within 6 mins (or so not long tho) of the call my father was home with food still hot. My mom asked how he got home so fast, (probably in the back of her mind thinking something was up) But it was not to antagonise my father... I mean a 30 min walk in 6 mins is kind of hard to believe. He responded with I ran ...Then " what do you think i was with a girl?" I remember sitting down to the MAC meal and he still going on about it. He then pulled the chair from under my mother which was near a ledge that was part of the living room and she fell backwards and I guess you can imagen what happened form that point. Things happened between him and my aunt that I read in a report on my father and his likely hood of being a "good dad". My aunt (moms sister) has I think BPD or something ... shes not really mentally stable. She has always resented my mom for certain things. So when my father and my mother where newly weds my aunt would go out to bars and then call my house to get picked up and had accused guys of trying to hurt her etc... So my mom having to work the next mornings usually would send my father... Well apparently one night ... My father and my aunt got a little to close and my dad should him self ( you know what I mean) to my aunt. My aunt being the type of person she is realized that she had gone way to far in trying to hurt my mom or maybe thats exactly what she wanted. She then told my grandma and word got around to my mom... Eventually my parents separated when I was 7 and thats when childhood stopped. My mom was way to depressed and torn up to have full attention on us ...and I dont blame her for that... I then was a mom to my brother and sister and to her. about 6 years ago when i was visiting my father for his weekend visit and I found condoms in his car.... Now even though they were split up at this point, he still called and professed his love to my mom ( drunk mind you). That always bothered me.. So now 10 years later they are back together for about 1 1/2 years .... and its still the same except no physical abuse. I DO think hes cheating on my mom for many reasons. Just a hour ago I was in the bathroom close to my fathers room... and I heard him talking ... And it wasnt mumermring in his sleep it was talking and quit loud. So I went in and it went as fallows: Me: Who are you talking to? Him: Mom Me: moms sleeping down stairs Him: miohdsfdsnbifnskd (in coherent, pretending as if he was asleep) Me: what? Him : oh ah..sfhdoshfldsk I left the room... Also my aunt uses the word "friend" to her husband ...and she says it in an unmistakable way... And the other day he said Friend to my mom in the same way she does.. So I asked... Me:What did you say? Him: Fran... Me: hmmm sounded like something S (aunt) would say... Him: *nothing* My mom basically came into the kitchen and told me that I was to smart, and that she thought the same thing. But Im not going to post the rest of the reasons because this is long enough... I'll might get around to it later But I would just HATE HATE HATE HATE if he did this to her again... she could barely handle it the last time.. And this would be the second time he shit on us... I do confess that I HATE my father.... And when shopping for houses when they first got back... I told her it would end up the same damn way ...looks like its headed in that direction. If you read this far thanks...! If you have any advice...Thanks!
That really sucks. I think that at this point you should talk to your dad about it. You are old enough and you had to live through your moms grief once. You and your mom shouldn't have to do that again. He needs a shock and I think you talking to him about it would shock the hell out of him because he things he is getting away with something.
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It probably wasn't the brightest idea that your mother and father have united once again. From the sounds of it, your mother has issues that she needs to get resolved, perhaps best suited through therapy. It always saddens me to see children acting as the parents. Hating your father will get you nowhere real quick. Chances are your mother isn't niave of the situation that she willingly put herself back into, still that doesn't consitute your father's possible actions as right. I would NOT talk with your father about it nor would I confront your mother about it. Although this does affect you and your siblings, this is still their marriage and their problem that needs to be resolved by the two of them. Like I mentioned before, I'm sorry to hear about your situation, and I hope for the best for you and your family.
lt's always sad to hear stories like this. l also had issues with my father while growing up, also saying to myself that l hate him....so l know it's difficult not to get involved in your parents' problems. but it's the best way. l think you should look at it that way: your father acting the way he does to your mum has nothing to do with you, has nothing to do with his love to you. there's no perfect family, but after going through all the issues with my father, today l realise he did the best he could, he didn't know the other way.... your parents' marriage shouldn't be a worry for you, you're too young for dealing with their problems. lt's not nice seeing your mum hurting, if she's sad then you're sad l suppose, but your mum is a grown up person, and it's not nice when a person twice younger is dealing with it instead. you should have your own "problems": boys, make-up.... but no matter what, l'm sure both of your parents love you. remember, their marriage has nothing to do with you. let them deal with it.
But thing is it is my problem, what happens to them affects everyone in my family! im not going to say anything to my mom she knows enough, Im not going to say anything to my dad because hes got his own conscience to eat him up. But im sorry this is my problem... and it not going to pass lightly...
dont be sorry for me, thats life. But the only thing that im sorry about is that my mom is in for it again...
It sucks when people put themselves back into bad situations. I do hope things get better soon for you and your Mom. I know what it's like for parents to fight all the times.
Thanks somechickyoudontknow. Im sorry ...if a lot of my anger is put through here.. Im not mad at anyone of you...
