Books ! Should You Keep It Real ???

I have had 5 children, now all grown up and gone, but I am still interested in what others think about kid issues. This is one I felt very strongly about when they were little.


For their first years,(before they could read), I would not read any book to them that had animals that talked or wore clothes, or that didn't look authentically like animals. I would not read fairy stories, or any with whimsical plots or stories. I just couldn't make myself read them. I would go to the library, and pick out all their books for them. If they just grabbed some books, I would inspect them and select the more down to earth books with realistic artwork, and stories. They seemed to make the same selections when they were older, even when I thought they were old enough to explore the world of fantasy, and even check out the animals who talked and wore clothes. I think I just felt that there was enough to process in their young minds about real things, instead of filling their little impressionable minds with fantasy. What do you think ?????

 

I understand your reasoning in some ways, but the way I feel is, they're kids, and part of being a kid is about having silly, nonsensical fun, being able to plug into that innocent time of childhood where anything is possible. They will learn soon enough through the passage of time that no, animals don't go around commuicating like you and I do, and normally you don't see them wearing clothing either.

 

I think censoring their books in such a manner is cutting their imagination short! Children process information much differently than we do. Using animals is sometimes more helpful to their reasoning than using humans. Not to mention, a well-worked imagination can see animals talking and wearing clothing without causing any harm to a child's reasoning ability.

I would rather spend my time censoring things that keep my child from using her imagination completely: video games, too much TV, etc. I think children need books of all kinds, and fantasy games to help them make sense of this world and themselves.

 

I totally agree ... incidentally I'm now studying to become a professional writer (with an interest in scifi), so yes it's obviously scarred me for life.

In my final year of high school I read and enjoyed Animal Farm, which is not a kids book, but it does have 'talking' animals. Of course I knew animals don't talk, let alone devise political systems that are allegories of communist Russia. However from a literary perspective it works; because it's an allegory, and helps us understand and engage with the events better than a history book.

So I wouldn't have a problem exposing children to that. I'm quite for it actually (Orwell and sentinent non-humans), because I feel it encourages children to empathise with non-humans and therefore be more compassionate in general.

Reading is such an important skill, and a love of books is such an asset for life. So my parents just let us go for anything that interested us, which included sentient trains (Thomas the tank engine). I must have know even then that trains didn't talk, but it made me happy, and that's what counts. They've got the rest of their lives to be 'sensible' and think like adults. So I'd allow the joy and innocence while it lasts.

 

there's a lot of reality in our world! Books are a chance even for young minds to escape and let the mind and imagination soar from the everyday. I find that my little one seems to equally enjoy ones that are realistic as well as fantasy ones. That however is me and I think that your comments about your little ones choosing stuff later in life that was similar to what you intrduced them to when they were young shows us the power we hold as parents. Neither choice is "right" but rather adds a variety of grownups with different tastes which makes the world the interesting place it is! Probably more important is that they are even introduced to books, reading and literacy in some form rather than what the form takes.

 

In today's world there is little chance to stimulate the imagination. Toys don't require any imagination to play with any more. You just turn on a switch and watch while the toy does it's own thing. Kids spend hours in front of the tv. They have computers to do everything for them. Kids don't even play outside any more. Fantasy play seems to be a thing of the past. I find that very sad. We have taken so much of childhood away from them. I think it is so important for kids to expand their minds and play in that special fantasy world that we as adults have pretty much lost. Whether it be talking dogs or pigs that wear clothes or spiders that weave names into their webs, I think this is a vital part of childhood. In my opinion it does children a disservice to take that away from them. As I am sitting here typing this, my son is near me on the floor with his dinosaurs and dragons and frogs. They are talking to each other. Some are asking not to be eaten and some are saying how yummy the other ones are. Some are counting each other. Some are flying to the moon. I think kids need this kind of play to stimulate the brain.

Kathi (Who still believes in fairies.)

 

To expand on my opinion a bit:

My mother didn't lie to us about Santa Claus. She never wanted to tell us a lie, and so Santa was a legend. However, while she never wanted to lie to us, she did want us to utilise our imaginations, to have that opportunity to see magic and wonderment in the world, and if you take away fantasy books, you curb a child's ability to see the wonder of the world.

 

yeah, i agree with everyone else. fantasy books are an integral part of developing imagination and creativity. that said, i do choose my kids books from the library, as i don't want them learning certain things at this point, no violence, things that glorify sibling rivalry, school (we homeschool) etc...

abe, i'm interested in learning about your grown children's life after knowing you didn't allow them to view books of this nature. what did they go to school for? what are their careers?

 

I think you are cutting your child's intellligence short by censoring fantasies. My son reads many stories and watches shows where animals talk, but he is by no means stupid, he knows that animals do not talk in real life. We play with toy animals and make them talk, is that any different? I do the same with his sister (we play where she is talking to him), and it makes him laugh, he'll say "babies can't talk". He also will pretend that he is a dog or super hero, it seems like not allowing him fairy tales would be the same as me telling him not to pretend to be an animal simply because he is not one LOL!

I am also interested in how your children feel about it now that they are older and are they doing the same with their children?

 

I think fantasy is good for children. Imagination is more important than education (I think) Einstein said that.

My kids KNOW animals don't talk. Any child who grows up with a dog, or a hamster or a cat or a mouse knows that. I am not big on the whole Santa thing, so we play it like a game. My kids know that Santa is a feeling and a fun Holiday fantasy.

My kids love playing with thier stuff animals and having them talk ect. My kids would (and the little one does) makes "families" out of anything. A large, medium and small crumb becomes the Papa, Mama and Kid Crumb. Same with cotton balls, mugs, balls of dust or anything.

I think fantasy is a good thing. People have been telling children fantasy stories since there were stories. I do and continue to tell my children stories (they know the difference between reality and play things) and I even make my dogs have voices, that OF course, my kids know is me being silly.

My kids have good imaginations. I think a full childhood full of fantasy helps.

 

we all have enough reality in our worlds, our children included. i've never ever stopped my daughter, or my little brother and sister, from indulging in silliness and such. i'm currently reading "big momma makes the world" to my daughters. there's no empirical evidence that a big, earthy mom with a child on her hip created the world, but it's a wonderful story. i just finished reading "the wizard of oz" to my 4 year old. we're starting on the wind in the willows next. i will never, for one second, expect animals to stand up and offer me tea. the harsh reality of the world will intrude upon their minds soon enough without me bringing it along sooner. my mother is a great believer in allowing a child's world to be magical for as long as possible. as such, she's raised a slew of free-thinking, highly spirited and creative children.

 

In my prior post, I didn't say that my children never read fantasy. I said I didn't read that style with unrealistic artwork to them while they could not yet read themselves. (under 5). I would browse the books at the library and saw little worthwhile or edifying text to go along with the fantastical pictures (animals with clothes, fairies, etc). I don't know about now, but in the late 80's, early 90's, when my children were small, the fantasy literature was mostly silly stories with no redeeming values or moral lessons. They were mostly just gaudy, attention getting pictures, with stories about nothing at all. It just looked like the authors were trying to make a fast buck.


I just could not bring myself to read them aloud. I tried, and then it just sounded like my voice talking , and I was somewhere else, and I would put it down and say "Sorry, I just can't read this". They could look at the pictures, or ask an older sister to read it. I wanted to get behind what I read and enjoy it myself, since I spent so much time reading.

We lived in tents in the woods for most all of their young lives, with no TV, radio, or movies etc. We spent most time outdoors, and they had plenty of a fantasy life in their playtime. We read most of the winter months, and I read everyday, all day, and still I was discerning about what I read to them. I can remember a few books that I did find OK. (ones with unrealistic depictions)
They were.....Berenstain Bears
Care Bears ( didn't like the advertisement hype)
Serendipity Books

When they were old enough to read themselves, they could choose whatever they wanted, and they read most everything in the library kids section. I just wanted them to get a solid sense of the realistic selections before they read the rest available. They are rather down to earth type girls, even now.

 

My daughters were all homeschooled, except for our firstborn, who went to grades 2-6. They are now ages 16-28, and four of them live together, and work together in their own pottery business, which is very successfull nationwide. One has her own small business, growing her own catnip, and making crocheted hemp catnip mice to sell to pet stores. She created her own logo and packaging, and is very creative in many other artistic ways. The other girls are younger and exploring the world around them, also going to community college to get their GED's. My oldest daughter has 2 children, and her 3 sisters work in the pottery business, and help her take care of the children, and keep the household running smoothly.

Our second born daughter moved to California with her partner of 1 year, and is taking classes (yoga, bellydancing, martial arts), and enjoying her rural life in the mountains. She got her GED , and took business classes at a community college. She also writes and records her own music, accompanying herself on guitar. They are all very intelligent, creative young women with lots of common sense, and full of life and love. They also totally love their Mom and Dad. I am so proud of them.

 

being the most down to earth member of my family, i have to say that it's often totally over-rated. i wouldnt' mind flying off into the stratosphere from time to time. the reality of my surroundings matured me far too soon. i never got to be a child. only in my pointless fantasy books did i escape. i can't really bring myself to read stupid stuff, either. but the more fantastic, the better, so far as i'm concerned. it just has to be well written and beautiful. kai adored the voyage of the basset, with it's gorgeous illustrations and mythical creatures. beautiful story, beautiful book.

 

oh, i'm glad to hear they are still very creative and artistic individuals even though you banned imaginative books for them as children. quite honestly i've never heard of someone doing a banning of this sort.

 

Well, I still need to redefine this idea of my banning books. After more consideration,I realize that I just wasn't exposed to many good writers of childrens books, as my only source was our county library (80's 90's homeschooling was still prohibited then), and often I did find a limited amount of books that seemed to fit into our lifestyle. There are many books about school, and I didn't want to read very many books about public school, a little for relatively, but not too many. We also lived in tents, so I think I gravitated toward books about pioneers etc. to exemplify the simple lifestyle we had chosen. I know I read many imaginative books (even some with animals talking and wearing clothes, or fairies, dragons, etc), but they had to have some intentional meaning or pertinent lesson, not must ramblings about nothing, which most books of fanatasy (at least at most libraries) are. I wish I had had access to more alternative type books that had imaginative pictures with a text that I found worth reading. I am sure there are many I would have loved to read to my children when they were little.

If I am the one doing the reading out loud, I need to believe in the text of the book, or it just doesn't inspire me to read. My children would pick books with goofy eye-catching covers, and I would scan the text to see if I could read it or not. So, I don't think I thwarted anyones imagination by endorsing more realistic text and art in their first 4-5 years, I still think in their formative years, books about the real life around them is what they need to know most,

I also picked books with text in lower case. If it was in all upper case, I would usually not pick it, because I thought it would be better to initially see written text in lower case, as it is written or typed. I thought it would easier to learn the alphabet and have more ease in learning to write, and always taught reading and writing with the lower case.. We all have our idiosyncratic methods of childraising, and they are all quite different.

 

I am a homeschooling mom, and as such, I can't possibly imagine any book, no matter what subject or how poorly written, that doesn't contain anything that cannot be turned into a chance to learn more, an educational opportunity, you might say. Even those books that I really detest open up a world of conversation between my girls and myself. Just because I might not like something doesn't mean I deny my children the experience, but I will and always do explain to them what it is I don't like about it, and we talk about that, sometimes at great lengths. And THAT is how learning happens, from interaction between parents and children, dialogue, questions and answers. That's not just how my kids learn, that's how I learn new things, too. The only thing that will make me deem a book inappropriate (for the time being, not when they are older) is too much violence or war.

 

I don't think what she did was such a horrible things. The kids did not miss what they didn't know they were not getting and as she said later on she allowed them read whatever books she wanted. And as they had a substantial amount of playtime, they were able to be creative on their own. Kids don't need to be prompted to be creative if they are just given time to be on their own and explore that. I took care of children who didn't have any toys or books and they were very creative, I was astounded by their imaginations almost everytime I watched them play. This is because they had the whole day to play. That's all they did all day.

Do I think this was a necessary parenting technique, not really, but I don't know. I don't think it was life ruining so I really don't see what the big deal is. It's an interesting preference, and it's obvious she did it in the thoughts that it was best for her daughters.

 

you know after your last post I realise that I probably "ban" some books without even meaning too. I can't stand reading some books so therefore I hardly ever read them and go for ones that I get a kck out of reading. So maybe we all do what you were talking about, read things that we are happy too and sidle past others!

 

A great viewpoint. Similar to watching TV with kids, seeing commercials and asking the children, "What do you think this is about? Do the people who make this product care about you? What is it they are trying to do?" Kids are SMART people, some of their responses are amazing.

My two oldest are 20 and 18, and I found plenty to read to them. Frog and Toad, The Wizard of Oz, Muffin Mouse, (my kids still talk about how much they loved Muffin Mouse) Peter Rabbit and other books by this author (for some reason, I can't remember her name) Charlie Brown books, The "Carl" books (he's a big Rotwiler who has a baby friend, he's great) ect. We were never at a lack of things to read.