who here has been cheated on? did you feel that it was your fault? or theirs? was it embarrasing and did it make you feel like you weren't worth your partner's efforts to be faithful? or was it entirely their fault? just looking for some feedback thanks
its always on the person who did the cheating . they should feel enough loyalty and honor to be honest about what they do. noone is responsible for the other person's actions, if they are unhappy, its part of the responsibily of being in a relationship to discuss whats right and wrong. its easy to feel you did something wrong. i know for me, when things go wrong, i always wanna take the blame feeling i am bad or wrong in some way. sometimes cheating is meant to happen. the two people shouldnt be together or else the cheating helps to facilitate change within the relationship because the pains have been brought to the surface in a very real way. searching the hearts of both individuals is the only way to really tell.
I was cheated on, by my curren bf, but i forgived him because of his honesty and we're still togather now a jear later, no cheating now When he told me, it came as a great shoque, and i didn't know what to think at tha time, or whose fault it was. But when i cooled my head i realised that it wasn't just his fault and that i should take part of the blame. Stil, he was the one that cheated, but my actions must have led to that.
marija, are you saying that you are partially to blame for his infidelity? Personally, I couldn't give a cheater another chance, even after years and years. But to say that his cheating is partially your fault? I don't understand, maybe you can help me to?
It must be partilly my fault because if i was acting ok, and the relationship was ok, he woulden't have a reason to cheat in the first place.
You say that now and lots of people do what wait till you have been in the situation. Nothing is ever cut and dry.
It's the cheaters fault no matter what and if their partner is a big enough person to forgive and forget then more power to them. I can forgive easily but despite that wouldn't stay in a relationship if somone cheated on me and wouldn't expect anyone to stay with me if I did either.
True. Before i was cheated on, i touhgt that i would never forgive such thing. But when he told me what he did it made me realise that he is really sorry. I mean, he was honest to me, he cried, and he sowed to me that he cares for me more than his birthday, and friends, and relatives. I just felt that i have to forgive him, if not i would loose a wonderfull person.
Cheating is just part of a person who is a Player. Best thing is don't play the game. Meaning I just date and don't expect to be with one person anymore. Why Bother?
I cheated before and it was because I was being abused and was unhappy. I was too scared and too much of a coward to end it... I didn't want to be with someone who beat me up anyway....
I've never cheated. Not even in a shit relationship did I cheat. I've been cheated on by every boyfriend but my current one. I think it's entirely on the shoulders of the person doing the cheating, regardless the circumstances. In the past, I gave all the cheating boyfriends a second chance, and they ALL did it again. In my experience, I've learned, once a cheater-always a cheater. Should my current boyfriend cheat and I find out, it's over. Yes, I can do cut and dry. I'm not for all the drama and mistrust that comes with the second chance. It's not worth it to me, no matter how much I love him.
I don't know if I've ever been cheated on [probably] but I definitely have cheated. Definitely. Definitely x 3 or 4 or 5 times. I felt it was basically both of our faults. Whether the guy was too clingy, or too stupid, or too inexperienced, or too lame, or whatever. It isn't right to blame my infidelity on their inherent weaknesses but... I'm going to do it anyway. Because I wouldn't cheat if I were satisfied in those cases because I haven't cheated in a long, long time. I didn't think it was embarassing because most of the time no one knew but me and my close friends. And I know these weren't real hearts I was breaking. None of those guys really loved me.
Basically all my relationships I have been cheated on. With the exception of one. The first time tings werent to serious between us and I was only 15 so it wasnt a big deal. Then my longest realtionship, 1 year 5 months. I found out he was cheating through myspace. This kid in one of my classes was making fun of me saying he was cheating and to check this site out (needless to say i am now crazy addicted to it haha). So I did and read the comments they left eachother. Which pretty much confirmed it. So I gave him the chance to explain himself and all he could do was deny, finally he admitted to it. I WAS THE OTHER GIRL! I had lost my innocence to this boy and he had a girlfriend the whole time. It sucked and I had a hard time dealing. I blame myself because I am very niave, I trust people waaaay too easily. It was pretty embarrasing and it did make me feel worthless.
I understand. Only you can sat what is wrong or right for you. For me though, I disagree. It is not your fault that he cheated. I can tell you from experience that rarely does it matter to the guy who they are cheating on and how satisfied they are with them. We are opportunists, when the opportunity arises, often we jump at it. By your logic he was unsatisfied with his actual g-friend not you, since you were the 2nd woman. Irrelevant though. It is not your fault IMHO.
People suck and generally should not be trusted 100%. Same w/ women and men. Now you are going to have to put your neck on the line again someday that's just the nature of the beast. I just hope you get what you so obviously deserve. A man that will be true to you. Good luck next time around, be careful. The best advce that I can give you is to not give it up for at least a month if not more. Hopefully that will help you weed out the assholes.
