this is going to sound stupid, but the love of my life just dumped me for reasons that basicly had nothing to do with me. anyway, im sooo sad and i miss him so much but at the same time im feeling so naughty and mischevious. i dont want another man i only want him, but for some reason i ended up fooling around with a friend of mine i guess i did it to make myself feel better since i knew that hes been after me for over a year. but after i felt soooo guilty like a cheated on my bf, except he dumped me! i dont know i feel like i need to get out and get wild, but im still hopeing he and i are going to get back together. and if we do i dont want that to be on my brain, but is it right for me to just sit around and wait for him? if anyone got any thoughts at all lemme know. or even some similar stories maybe, i just need some perspective
It is called rebound (with your friend who has been after you). Don't feel guilty - you needed a guy's shoulder to cry on and to make love to you. Since the other guy dumped you, why the guilt?
exactly,. look the loser dumped you (i dont like the term dumped) he freed you to do whetever ya want, ..and every1 has needs. u cant just sit around hoping 1 day maybe..cause u never know u might find out the next guy ya spend lil time with might end up bein the 1 who sticks by ya and doesnt leave ya..i wouldnt waste 1 more momment waitin for this dude, ..have fun
aww, thanks guys. that makes me feel a little better. i know i shouldnt feel guilty about what i did but i just loved him sooo much. he was more than a bf to me he was like a best friend too. i shouldnt wait around i just feel bad that i want to go out and seduce men to make myself feel better.
are you 100% sure its over? i m ean if u had an argument and decided to cool things awhile and u just wanna go seduce whoever u can find, that maybe a different story..but if u gave it a chance to see if it could be fixed and it seems hopelress then by all means move on biut ya kno if its like u broke up and 2 hours later your with his best freind just to get back at him, thats lil immature and it can hurt u as well, ..i'm, just sayin theres no reason to feel guiolt, as long as your sure u know what your doin and why and its really just desire to be with someone and not a like oh i'll show you, i'll fuck whoever i wanna type thing\ but if its been awhile,. and your ready and hes ready to move on then by all means
Don't look back. If the guy who left you wants to return to you, take a hard look before you jump back into his arms. The fact that he left you for reasons unrelated to you should diminish him in your eyes. The friend you sought comfort from - is he a potential future life partner? Sometimes true friendship can evolve into love.
i waited on my ex for a month and a half, i rarely hung out with guys, and was as loyal as a dog to him because i still loved him and had hope that wed get back togehter, anyways, after about a month and a half, i started fooling around with someoen i met while on vacation, my ex found out, and came crying back to me to take him back. Our situtation was slightly different though, cuz i had sex with my ex while fooling around with this other guy, im really ashamed of it, but at the same time i feel like i needed to break free and do somethign for myself. i did, he came back, and we've been together for 2 years since : ) Im not saying go fool around with someone and hel come back, im just saying if he really loves you, hell come back and it will work out.
I have a similar story. When I got out of my longest relationship with the guy I lost my virginity to I fucked 4 people in a little over a year...the first I met on the internet and fucked the first night I met him, we ended up in a relationship....the other ones were friends who I ended up having short relationships with and one was my boss. About 5 months ago I asked myself what the hell I was doing and haven't slept with anyone since and don't plan to until I meet 'the one'.I know 5 doesn't sound like a lot of people at all to have slept with at 25 but with my morals and how I wanted my future husband to be the only one it's been a damper on my self-esteem.
I am in a very similar situation m'dear. My boyfriend of 4 years just dumped me because he didn't think he was ready for a serious relationship, yet he still loves me and needs to work things out. So here I am, kinda feeling like I want to rebel against this power he has over me and the way he's treated me, and, like you, I'm going out and flirting around and having a good time. I still love him with all my heart and I want to get back together with him, but at this time he needs to see that if he doesn't want me someone else will and that I'm a great person and girlfriend. I've fooled around with a friend as you have, but we were drunk and I made it clear that I still had feelings for my ex. I say, go have fun, but have fun because you want to. If he has shit to work out or think about, then let him. You don't have to sit their twiddling your thumbs while you wait. Do only what you're comfortable with and maybe you'll learn a little about yourself in the process.
Ilove - I don't know what it is about guys (and I am one), but some of us dump their girlfriends, start something up with someone new, and expect their exes to sit there waiting and hoping for them to come back, and then when the ex-girlfriends get a new boyfriend, the guys who dumped them come running back to them. Just having a cock does not mean you are God's gift to women. You have to earn their respect and love.
oh I love how guys think that...it's great entertainment man. I mean you should get a free freak show as a consolation prize after a break-up right?
thank you soooo much sunshine! my situation is exactly the same as you just described! my friend and i were both drunk and i had told him how heart broken i was earlier in the evening before we started drinking. we were having a perfectly innocent time, one thing led to another and you know the story. i was actually very surprised because he called me today to make sure i was alright with everything that had happened ,and find out if i was feeling any better yet. im still in love with my ex but i sorta feel like a casual "relationship" basicly a friend with benefits would do me some good, sew my wild oats a little. i would kinda like it to be the friend i already fooled around with but im afraid that he would want more out of it than that. im also afraid that if my ex and i do get back together it would hurt my friend. i dont know how to express to him that im interested in that type of relationship without him feeling like im useing him. also i know hes been after me for a long time, so i know he would instantly say yes to me even if he wanted more than a fuck buddy. i duno, any thoughts?
Honeyofabee - I dont know if I would want to just be your fuck buddy in the situation you describe. I am sure I would enjoy the sex, but what happens if I grow attached to you at the same time, and you return to your ex.
cutted- yes, thats exactly what im afraid of. im attracted to this man and i like him as a friend. if i didnt still have feelings for my ex i would consider a relationship but im not ready for that. ive been with alot of selfish men who were after nothing more than my body so part of me still thinks that is what all men are after and my useing him for sex will be ok with him. but at the same time i dont want to do to him what those men did to me i know how it made me felt and i dont want to put anyone else through that. even if i did deserve it, it still wasnt a good feeling. as i have gotten older though i have found that it is almost imposible to have a casual relationship or even a innocent friendship with men (not to toot my own horn) but they all fall in love. sometime i wish i just didnt give a damn.
Honeyofabee - Make a list of goods and bads. On one side put down all the good things about your ex, and on the other side all the bad things. Put the list down, and read it again the next day, and see if there is anything you want to add, subtract or change from the list. If some things are especially good or bad, put a star next to that item. This may help you think more clearly about your future with your ex, or if you want to purge yourself of him foreever and move on.
