haha how come he be smacking me a lot?! I mean, I realize he is a little sick right now, but I mean he FREAKS out then he doesnt get what he wants immediatley, thats not me and might not be his mom either, I think he just has her additude I dont know. But yea, he freaks out, he smacks me, and when I yell at him he cries and makes a sad face and gives me a kiss, then instantly he starts laughing so I know it a fake. But yea, I got to ask which I usually dont, how can I make him stop smacking? BTW he's just over 14 months
he's plenty old enough to understand the concept of "soft hands" - teach him by example. You can't "make him" learn or do anything, but you can show him the right way of doing things. Show him how to touch without hurting. don't ever touch him in a way that causes him pain. Mostly, at his age, it's normal behavior. He's learning how his actions cause reactions, from you, from the world in general. You react strongly, it becomes a fun game. don't yell at him. don't assume you know what he's thinking or that he's faking anything. Babies don't have the same sorts of motives that adults do.
Ok yea I didnt reply to this earlier but I try to make a game out of it and he loves it. But now he has upgraded to punching lol. It's ok I dont mind if he does it to me I just dont want him to punch other kids at his school. I dont know if he will, I mean when he first learned how to bite I'm the only person he ever bit, he bit me on the leg a few times and then he just seemed to stop doing it all together. I never get bad reports from his school, they say he is a perfect baby when he is there, but I dont know about them girls who work there, they might just be saying that because I am friends with some of them outside of their jobs. I dont know I just dont want to have to yell at him when he punches and kicks but at the same time I dont really know how to stop him, oh well it's not really a big deal anyway I guess
He shouldn't be doing that to you either though RELAYER. I mean, I understand rough-housing, believe me, my boys can get pretty wild at times, but we won't tolerate them hitting or punching. It's just not acceptable behavior to us. I realize he's still pretty young yet, but I think you need to try and nip this in the bud before he thinks it's acceptable to do to others as well. Then you'd have your hands even more full. When my kids would try and take a swat, I would get down to their level, eye to eye, take their hands in mine and say lovingly yet firmly "hugs not hits" and then I'd give them a hug, in which case they would return the hug. Kind of corny I know, but...it seemed to work for us.
I dont think thats corny! I'll try it Im just at a loss here and dont have anyone around to help so I just been kind of dealing with it, I tell him no and hold his hand but it doesnt work lol. So yea I will give this a shot if he tries to pull a fast one on me tonight
It's a few years ago now but I vaguely remember that happening and I think reading round and asking I found stuff that said it was mainly a phase of development where they are realising that what they do has an impact on those around them, not that I would say they don't have an impact before but it is definitely something where they have control and are starting to realise that. Hugs sound like a good approach!
when I was student teaching in an early intervention classroom for the autistic I made a poster with a huge sad face on it in a corner and whenever a student hit, bit or displayed insppropriate behaviors they had to sit facing the sad face for a few minutes. these kids were between the ages of 3 and 5. since he is 14 months you could start out with 1 minute in sad corner, then as he gets older add another minute. like when he turns 2 you could make it 2 minutes. my friend is using this approach with her 2 year old son and it has been working. I don't have a kid, but i do work with kids who display challenging behaviors. mamaboogie has good advice. teach him what soft hands are. good luck!
check out this forum it might be of some help http://www.mothering.com/discussions/forumdisplay.php?f=36
Great, now today he smacked someone, and when the teacher was trying to change him he got up and ran away, and my friend who works there, she called and said he tripped when he was running and cut his forehead open!!!!!!! He is something else, I tell ya. And it's weird, he is NEVER behaving badly, his smacks arent even bad I think they are cute!
there ya go, you said a mouthfull right there... your his dad..he smacks ya and u think its cute and smile...he wants to be cute and make ya smile so he smacks ya..yea its a game...so, he sees a kid in school he wants them to think hes cute and smile..so he smacks em... maybe next time he smacks ya, dont act like its a cute game.. be firm but loving and just let him know its not fun..and it wont make you pay attention or make u smile but yea hugs will
Ok, you can hate whatever you want Tamee, but please, do not say things like this in my regards as if I do not understand my own child. Are you really trying to say that a child never "fakes" being upset to get something they want? That is absolutley rediculous and I apologize for this post if it rubs off as being rude, but I have to admit that if your comment was carried out in the sense that I am to be looked down upon for making a statement that would suggest that my child is not an absoulte perfect angel, then I have taken offense from you. I find it very rude of you as a matter of fact to openly doubt that I have some idea as to what goes on in my childs mind. Look, I am not a mind reader but I know when my sons cry is bullshit or if it is sincere, I mean how can you even say such a thing when you do not know me or my son? If, for some bizarre reason, that I have misunderstood your post, by all means PLEASE correct me so that you are not made to look like you said something offenseive, but if you are doubting my ability to listen and care for my son, then I feel sorry for you. I do not mean to go on a rant like this and I am sorry you are on the recieving end of my frustration, but nobody knows the pain that I have been through in my life, nobody knows what I struggle with daily, or how much money I have, or if I live in a ghetto or a mansion, it does not matter, I am sick and tired of being judged by people who know nothing about me. All I ever hear from people is oh, you are not doing this right, this is what a parent is supposed to do. Or, you dont make enough moeny to support him. Or you dont know what you are talking about. We all have our own problems in life, and the last thing I need is for someone to question my intelligence when it comes to raising MY son. I simply was open and honest enough to admit that I am having some trouble with helping him to stop punching me and carrying on when he doesnt immediatley get what he wants, and was just politley asking for advice, seeing that I rarely do from anyone and I try to offer as much advice everyday to a multitude of people. I admit it, I could use help with this aspect of his life, and I greatly appreciate all the suggestions I have recieved and am going to pick a few and start disciplining him tomorrow. I think Soaringeagle has had the best advice so far. But I did not post this thread to be told that I am wrong for saying sometime my son fakes something. I realize that is not how you worded it, but that is what kind of message I took it to be.
my daughter is classic for squeezing crocodile tears from her big beautiful eyes when she is not getting things happening her way or she thinks she might get extra attention for a bump that did nothing. My friends are constantly sucked in and wondering why I am just cruising along telling her it's ok and all good and then eat their words when she smiles the biggest grins a minute or so later when things have worked out for her. Kids live their emotions large and they also learn very early on how to get what they need or want in the world. The story about the boy who cried wolf is probaly a really good one for these sorts times, the whole story not just the saying, kids get stories in a way that they may not get "adult" style talking to or explainging. In regards to your kid hitting others and you thinking it's cute, well I don't particularly find other peoples children hitting me cute (in fact I don't even find my own kid hitting me cute) cause it is either painful or annoying and although I understand they are still learning about the world and how it works I will forgive them but I figure that kids need to learn to socialise with other people and that as hitting each other is not as far as I know an acceptable form of communication for any people anywhere then it might be best to follow soaring eagles advice, he said it succinctly!
Ok you know what, I am never going to ask for advice in this Parenting forum again lol. Stephanie, I never said that I think it is cute when my son hits other kids, because he only has one time, and he was in school when it happened! I said I think its cute when he hits me, not other children. Basically, I got the same reesponse from everyone, which is to not smack him or scold him, but to talk to him about it and try to get him to realize that what he is doing is wrong, yet at the same time you are all caliming that I dont understand my own child becuase he doesnt "think like an adult" does in certain situations. Sorry people, not everyone lives ain a great household with a nice loving family and partner to help out. I was smacked as a child, yelled at, and lived in a shitty area in the city, and while I will NOT smack my kid, I will yell at him from now on when he is out of line. Thanks anyway, but I am going to raise my son in the real world were sometimes, you get called out on your shit when you fuck up.
don't not post here again just cause I said something you didn't like. I thought you said you thought your kid was cute when he was smacking you and that when he did it to others it was a problem and like soaring eagle whose advice you didn't mind I sorta figure he might just be getting a bit confused with the messages about what is ok behaviour and what is not. No kids think like adults, they are kids and therefore think like kids. That is normal.As far as I can see no one is saying you don't know your kid, no one knows your kid better than you. You showed that with your posts as you were almost answering your own questions with your pondering about the situation. No one no matter where they live and what they do has any less or any more of these "situations" whilst raising kids so rather than running off how about sharing your experience and letting us know how it goes for you. I think we can all learn from each other when it comes to our children and the internet whilst it might not be "the real world" is a remarkkable opportunity to share and learn with each other.
