physical attraction

could you date someone of the preferred sex if you were not physically attracted at all but loved their personality? How important is physical attraction in a relationship to you?




As shallow as it may sound, I believe it is very important, think of how much time you spend looking at that person and such. I would very much like to hear your views on this.

 

Someone I wasn't attracted to? Yeah, but it might be a bit harder.

Someone I found -unattractive-? Absolutely not. If I don't want to jump their bones there's no sense in us dating.

There's actually a neat discussion in http://www.hipforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=211803 about this too.

 

Dating a beautiful woman without a personality is nothing more than arm candy. Dating an ugly woman with a great personality is hard, but can work. Ugliness is in the eyes of the beholder, and like Ugly Betty, there may be beauty under there, and the perceived ugliness may be possible to disguise or change.

I am fortunate to have found a beautiful, highly educated, successful woman with a great personality, who is a wonderful friend, companion and lover.
We both feel blessed to have found each other after some earlier heartaches.

 

When I'm not initially attracted to someone, but I absolutely love their personality, it makes them more attractive in my eyes after awhile and I do think I could look past the initial unattraction.

 

Just as a sidenote, because I understand your point but disagree with your example, the chick who plays "Ugly Betty" is actually damn gorgeous http://imdb.com/gallery/hh/1065229/HH/1065229/iid_950736.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Ferrera, America

 

I've yet to meet anyone that fit that description. I've met plenty of people that I was not initially physically attracted to, who became incredibly physically attractive to me as I got to know them. I've also met plenty of people that I thought were hot as hell at first, but then who became physically revolting in my eyes as I got to know them. I've also had plenty of experiences where I loved a person's personality, but knew that for whatever reason they have the perfect personality for a great friendship but I would kill him if I tried to date him.

So, no, I would not consider dating someone that I did not find physically attractive, as that would be an indication to me that the chemistry was just not there, that there must be some reason (albeit perhaps subconscious) for me to still not find him physically attractive.

 

I have seen beautiful looking faces change to ugly when they opened their mouths, and seen faces lacking proportional standards of beauty that started to glow when they spoke their words of wisdom and love, and I was then very attracted to them.

 

with me, here is what i think...
as i cant see, as in not at all, as in, i have been blind since birth, sent, touch and voice has a lot to do with whether i find them atractive or not, if i like what they say, do, smell like and if there skin feels nice to my touch then yes i will be atracted to them but other than that, i wont be.

 

Lizziet - that was a beautiful statement. You have the purest form of establishing a relationship. By being blind, you see beyond pure physical appearance (although you can feel his face and body with your hands) to focus on personality, intelligence, voice, scent, etc. in evaluating a lover.

 

I have to be physically attracted to someone in order to date them, or in my case marry them. My husband may not be "perfect" to everyone, but he sure gets my motor running.

As for loving someones personality but not being attracted to them, well most of my friends fall into that category. I think they are wonderful, but I never wanted to date them.

 

i think that blind people have an exilent persective when it comes to being atracted to someone

 

I agree with you Dancer Annie a good Personality is attractive.

I believe Its all about the personality... to me it doesnt really matter
Iam attracted to personality more then looks ... dont get me wrong the first thing I look at when I meet a guy is eyes and smile I dont know why LOL... But honestly you can meet the most amazing looking guy but it doesnt mean he has an amazing personality. Thats just my oppinion. lol

 

It's a shame that so many are so occupied with immediate satisfaction and do not look deep enough into their hearts and envision how life could turn out that they dont appreciate what is true beauty, true faitfulness and true love. Sure the physical body can be beautiful, and so could a personality, and if you can find someone who excels in both categories than good for you But if you turn off the ability to love someone based on appearance alone, then be ready for that sort of treatment and the pain which can be tacked onto someone as a follow up to be returned. I think what you said is great Katy, I know some girls and guys who really are close to pure when it comes to the judgement and rationalization of what determines how they will allow themselves to be open with their feelings for an other person (although the amount of boys who really live up to this respectable state is definitley, hmmm, far from tipping the balance in a positive measurement) Just an observation, Im not trying to make a false claim on the behalf of men here

 

Lizziet - reading your other posts, I think you were manipulating me when you said you have been blind since birth. Being blind f=does not compute with things you have said in other posts. The story was nice anyway. It sure took me in.

 

liz is blind and we've talked a good bit, so cutted i dunno what ya mean bout that

but back to the subject, sure i could ..and have..personality matters far more in attraction anyways,

the op said its important cause u gotta look at them all the time
well...dont ya gotta listen to em too?

whats more annoying, a pretty face that treats u like total shit, and whos voice sends u into a homicidal rage...or an average or unatractive 1 who every word ..every mommenttogether makes u love em more

i guess the questions vague when it comes to date...its 1 thiong if u define it as someone u have sex with, and yes if thats all it is the physical attractions the most important thing, but if you define it as a relationship..with a person not just an image..then the attraction physicaly is way way less impportant then the ability to stand the person when u wake up next to em the next morning right?

 

I actually am having a situation like this right now. There is this guy who is very nice, and he has made it clear to me that I am important to him.

But I'm not necessarily attracted to him, and could not see us cuddling or anything of the sort. Because of this, I have turned him down when he asked me to be his girlfriend.

I will say, though, that the more I get to know him, the more my mind opens back up to the possibility because he is a very nice guy.

Maybe I'm shallow :/

 

Thats prettyu much whats goin on with me. Except this kid hasnt asked me out but my friends all say he will. Are we shallow?

 

thanks relayer

 

I agree eagle

 

cutted, i wasn't meaning to be minipulating i was just saying, and i have been blind since birth why would i ly?? other posts are just that, other posts, has nothing to do with what's being said here