Looks aren't everything...

the truth is the longer you spend with someone the more you get used to the way they look or the sex. I learnt the hard way that there is always another girl I will find more appealing physically then my gf. however the beauty that comes from within (the mind and soul), those never cease to amaze me - a person which such beauty can always find something to say or do that will stir my passions and that I've learnt is more precious than how she looks at least in the longer term.

 

I couldn't date someone who I found -unattractive- but I could date someone who I felt relatively neutral about, from a physical/attractiveness perspective. And I have. I ended up thinking they were very very attractive by the end of our relationship, because I got to know them better... but I couldn't makeout with someone who I found unattractive which, well, kinda kills that whole side of a relationship

 

Yes, beauty cannot be globally quantified, but there must be a physical attraction between two people (or more in some cases) for a real relationship to work.

That being said, there is no reason to shun a person that you don't consider to be PERFECT in appearance. As long as there is enough attraction, sometimes their personality can take care of the rest.

 

You all are so right, too. I love your ideas and points. I do think, however, that there's a difference between males and females as far as looks in dating. I would think that females, moreso in general, would accept someone who looks more neutral in comparison to them, like Ihmurria here, but it would take a lot more work mentally for most "good-looking" males to go for a woman less than their physicality and/or attractiveness. Again, I'm being biased again here. But wouldn't you say this for the majority of males?

 

MOST? Maybe...

Not me. My standards as far as appearance is concerned are low according to others. As long as they don't scare children, I can find beauty in their appearance. Their personality means much more to me.

I guess that is easy for me to say though since I am in a relationship.

meh...

 

plus you're an amazing exception to a great many men out there.

Particularly those in my age bracket, and that of miss wildflowerlove

 

they do and they don't
you need to be attracted to the person of course
but yeah

iunno, we need to think of a proper way to explain this to people :tongue:


but I'm like hacker said, I can find beauty in people as long as I like their personality
everyone has somethign beautiful about them
if nothing else, the eyes and the smile are ALWAYS beautiful

 

Overall, the males have no comebacks so far. lol

 

I just went and read your post

I think that's pretty typical and sexist of you to think
it's society's fault though
guys don't care all that much
guys' friends do
and total assholes do
but guys really don't care all that much
you girls are the ones that put all that shit on yourselves
you make yourselves think that you have to look great all the time, with your fashion magazines and jewelery and make up and shit

 

I said I was being biased. lol Sheesh. And it's not just woman who are overly critical of themselves. I mean, look at the woman in the porn magazines you all look at! That says something in itself.

 

and look at the men in the porn magazines you gals look at

still, does the typical male do anything near what the typical woman does for their appearance?

and really, porn is so fucking varied
most men don't like the women in playboy and shit, they go jerk off to BBW.com or tinyrussianteens.net
playboy probably sells more for the articles than anything

 

Okay, we could go on and on, but the end result is that it's society's fault as a whole. Not a particular gender. Yeah, blah blah blah. lol

 

Alright people, let's lay of the gender bashing and get back onto the topic of how looks/aesthetics factor into a relationship or a relationship's potential

 

Thanks ihmurria, for getting us back on track! lol

 

this is completely relevant to the topic

looks do matter to a certain extent
but people magnify that so much

 

Of course looks matter. Not nessecarily if someone is ugly or not, but if their looks appeal. They don't matter more than personality though.
If I found someone's looks to be appealing then that's all they'd be. Nice to look at. Like a well designed house or a nice painting.
If I found someone who was nice and kind and intelligent, but I didn't find them appealing physically then I'd just make friends. I couldn't have a total relationship including the physical side of the relationship if I didn't find them appealing, it wouldn't be right. Doesn't mean they're ugly though, just not the same looks as I'd look for.
To want to be with a person totally they'd have to be appealing emotionally AND physically.
lol, most people think I'm unappealing, but my girlfriend doesn't, so it's all from a person's perspective what pretty is...so no-one ugly, just different.

 

There is an old Winston Churchill story which goes like this: He was at a party, and had a lot to drink. An old, dried up dowager woman came up to him, and said "Winston, you are drunk". He looked at her and said "Yes, I am. But you are ugly and I will be sober in the morning."

However, beauty and ugliness are transitory - a short, scrawny 18 year old Jewish guy (as in one of the prior posts here) can turn into a successful, self assured, buff 36 year old Jewish guy. The 18 year old hunk with the handsome face can turn into the fat and bald 36 year old.

When I was 18, I was 6'2" and 130 lbs - if I turned sideways, I would disappear. Now, many years later, I am 6'2" 190 lbs, mostly muscle, and still have all my hair. I have turned into what the women I know say is a hunk, something which at 18 I could never believe would happen.

 

ermm no looks arent everything. i would date a person with a good personality first and then looks would just be an added bonus. I just want a good guy, but he cant be butt ugly

 

Looks come first in any relationship.

 

for me, as i cant see, sent, voice and what there skin feels like means a lot to me, rather than what they phisically look like.
to me, its not the house that the soal's contained in that counts, its the soal that's contained with in the house that matters.
i think blind people have a better way of looking at things when it comes to finding someone atractive than sighted people do.