whenever my mother leaves a message...

That's wonderful.

I do not believe in regular messages. I leave the most obscure voice-messages... people don't know it's me half the time, but my good friends can always guess.

Per example, I called my friend Brett today, and his lazy ass was probebly having sex with his girlfriend, so he didn't answer... so.... I left him a 5 minute long voicemail with me just randomely grawling into the phone, and ending it with a shout of "SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATAN"..... he'll know it's me.

 

i'll tell her. she'll cackle like a pro. you're looking at the one in the "got wine" shirt, right?

 

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! sweet! that's hilarious.

 

my dad will call up and just wander through his mental perambulations in this perfect stage and screen star voice, alto/baritone, very lovely. he'll sort of mumble, you won't know what the hell he just said, but you'll play it for everyone you know, because it sounds good, like a foreign movie with a great orator.

 

Naturally. Great shirt too

 

have you seen sam? he's a beautiful lady.

 

that's so funny, my mom has no sense of humour what so ever

 

when i was 15 I had this dolls house a victorian stylish one, not barbie and I found this little chain and went on and on about how it would make something nice for the house.
in the end mother said 'get a whip to go with it and they can all have kinky sex'
S

 

I checked him out and hs beautiful locks. I would gladly rasberry him too.

 

slut you want everyone
S

 

I'm cute. Everyone wants me too.

 

hahaha....your mother looks too proper to say such things... I am jealous of your dolls house...

 

Hahaahahahah the last time I got laid, my best friend new I planned on basically spending the day in bed with this guy so she threatened to phone my cell and leave multiple voicemails on it consisting of porn music (well, her version of porn music, bow chicka bow bow type stuff)

She did actually call, but he left much earlier than anticipated and now I'm single again so she'll have to wait a while before carrying out her nefarious plan on me.

 

Poor girl... you won't stay single for long though... you seem to be the only one of us who actually gets laid and isn't married to a person (who is a steady fuck) or a computer (which all of us uncontrollably hump until we crack the screen, even though we will never admit to it).

 

Haha my mother leaves me messages like, "Why the fuck is this phone not on...I told you to leave it on, oh and get me a pack of ciggs on your way home."

The first time I called my friend Jenn I left her a message of me breathing heavily into the phone. The next day she saw me and told me how creepy the message was (still not knowing it was me.) The funny part was that I warned her that if she didn't answer I would leave that kind of message.

 

Hehehehe I'm trying to not be on the hunt
but I have the hots for an old high school crush again (don't know if he's single)
and there's a cute redhead I've been reminded of who's a friend of an ex (don't know if he's single)
and I'm talking to some dude from a dating site :eyeroll: Hey, I didn't join anythign new, I just unhid my profile from a while ago

And fuck man, I'm a nerd too, but I found somethign else to hump instead of my monitor, it's called a vibrator. Fucking A.

 

Well sometimes, due to having a super sensitive bladder, I've peed while talking on the phone to people, but I don't ever tell them.

 

nooooo not you!!!!!
S

 

yeah I've done that a few times. Don't turn on the light since the fan is connected and then it's really loud. And usually only with people I'm comfy with and, well, have peed infront of 'em anyways (what, the party girls and I all get ready together and there's usually only one bathroom, where the mirror and great lighting exists but so does the toilet and sink)

 

hahahah. now i have a raspberry panties message from sam on my machine. it's amazing.