The Double Life: Gay vs..."Straight"

I've been out to certain people for a year- close friends, my mom, my sister...Everyone I've told or knows is fine. Going to college is very liberating, too.

But, coming back home, it's a double life...Only some people know, and quite frankly, I like it that way. I don't want my homosexuality going around my town, relatives, and even some select friends. Yeah, I know, some may say I'm not being my true self and whatnot but honestly I feel like some people just shouldn't know and I don't want my business being an issue or a "topic" to people. I feel like my sexuality should be on the downlow there because it's safer and better for me in the long-run. And if I ever go into a long-term relationship, I really wouldn't mind hiding it from them.

Does anyone thinks this is bizarre or wrong? Because right now I'm looking into the future and I just don't see myself coming out to the "world." But I don't care, as long as I'm out to the people I truly care about or to the people who wouldn't mind.

 

Dude, it is your life and you call the shots.

Do not set anything in stone and be always prepared to revise your views as you go.

But never allow anyone else to dictate your agenda. You know what's good for you and you will be responsible for all the mistakes you make.

So, you do, what's right for you.

KD

 

Not wrong... different, maybe, from what some might do, but not wrong.

 

My boyfriend is this way with a majority of his family.

 

I'm out to some, not to most. I like it that way because people are biiitch and will make rash judgements on you according to your sexuality. As long as you want the people who love you to accept your sexuality, and they do, then you can be happy. If strangers or relatives you don't know all too well don't know you're gay, then why should it matter? Peace and love
Lauren

 

I kinda kept it... not secret from my family, but I've only actually told my immediate family because I'm hoping (well, not hoping exactly) that it won't actually become a major issue until after my grandparents are dead. It's really stupid because I'm almost certain they'd not be that bothered - my grandad was a body-builder, so I'm sure he's not unaware of the existence of the homoism - but... I dunno. I don't think it would be any different if I was straight, to be honest. While I'm sure they don't think I'm a virgin at 23 I don't imagine any of them really wants to know about me having sex, and I've not had a boyfriend serious enough to be worth mentioning so I'm basically rationalising this to myself on your time even though you don't really care. Sorry.

 

If that's what works well for you, then that's what you should do. If you ever feel like that's not right, then you can do something about it. If you feel safer and more comfortable that way, then keep at it.

 

I think it sucks you feel you would have to hide it.

I would have liked to feel society was further along than that.

 

Society as a whole probably is, but family is different.

 

I live with my uncle, and as my family ostracized me for being gay, I don't plan on telling him. He was banished from the family for a different reason, and actually don't know what he would do. He's very conservative.

But now that I think about it, he might already know and be ignoring it. We don't talk about anything but work.