Im 14 and hes 17. AND IM HELLA CONFUSED! Help :]

If your not willing to hear a long life story to this then.... Yeah dont read it.


So, in early oct. He started talking to me. He saw me at a show and then some how found my myspace added me and started talking to me. I saw him there and I was like "omg the hot guy from the show added me!!!!" Like a typical girl right. Any ways. He lives kinda far from me. And we hardly see each other. But im sooo shy and nervous all the time. I mean we just started talking on the phone and stuff. And hes like really into me. And im really into him, and ive never had a boyfriend or even kissed any one before. And he knows that, and im just so confused and im afraid. Of.. I dont even know what.

But going into full details...
[must read to understand.]

Im told not to bring up the past. But When he first told me that he liked me. I wasnt sure that I like him. And yeah. One night he said he was gunna go to his friends house and drink and spend the night. and he told me girls were gunna be there and I was like " well dont get too drunk." and he was like " ahahahah.." and yeah so the next day he tell me he rolled his ankle... and is no longer a virgin, cause he was drunk off his ass and had sex with some girl. I was like sad. Because, i was realizing I liked him and stuff. I didnt tell him though.

So that passed and I knew he was seeing other girls and stuff. There was this one girl that he was talking to at his school. I knew he was like getting into it cause he told me they kiss and all and he was falling for her.So I figured that he didnt like me any more so I should just move on. So I tryed. And when ever he needed to talk about that one girl I would help him out. And stuff, being a good friend. He soon got over that one girl. And things were going ..okay.

So I guess he still liked me after all this. And he figured I just thought of us as friends. So he was just going to give up. So its took me like 30 tirllion years to just tell him that I liked him. And after words It was light weight off of my shoulders.

So just recently he told me that he was "confused." and I asked if he wanted to talk about it. He said that he really likes me a lot... but this other girl likes him too....
And yeah, I just dont like having all this compition. [ i cant spell.] I mean. I have low confidence and stuff and its a major turn off for me. I just want to stop sometimes when he does that. So I just told him this was all up to him, and I cant make his mind up for him. And he told me it was between the girl and him and I.

I didnt doo shit. And I just gave him time to think. And he made up his mind. And he really wants to be with me now and stuff.



I like him a lot. Like never before have I ever liked some one like this. And I dont want to just stop the whole thing. But im afraid to move on. Like im such a nervous person and stuff. I dont know......
I just need some help.

And you are amazing if read all this cause... Its a hell of a lot to read. Haha
<33

 

it wasn't all that much, but I must admit, I am pretty amazing

anyways, I think you are rushing into things a bit
you are only 14
he lives far away
take things slowly

and don't just 'move on' keep him as a friend, keep things slow
and think about 'someday maybe'

but that's just my opinion

 

Don't worry, everything will go fine. Just don't be nervous, I know it's hard but you don't have to. I used to be like that(and I still am) but not like before..trust me if you surpass that, it's gonna be a hell lot easier. Anyways

 

Yeah, you'll be okay. I remembering being fourteen, I was extremely nervous around the opposite sex. And trust me, after you get into a relationship, get your first kiss, (maybe have sex when you're older), you'll be a lot more at ease with the opposite sex and wonder why the hell you were so nervous in the first place.

Anyway, first kisses can be amazing and tragic. I had a best friend who didn't have her first boyfriend/kiss until she was 17/18, and it was horrible for her. She went home crying. But let me tell you, they just practiced kissing, the guy understood, and they have been together since. It's been like a year. So, you'll be okay. Don't fret. The only difference between males and females is anatomy and for the males, a lack of common sense.

Good luck!

 

Thanks for all the advice people.
Cause none of my close friends really had an answer to this

It means a lot
:]

 

I hate to be the first nay-sayer...well not really...so here goes...

NOOOOOOOO....DO NOT continue to talk with this guy. You are too yong to be with a 17 year old. He is already having sex and you are too young for that. Besides, I believe he could do jail time for that anyway. If not now then next year when he turns 18. I know that you like this guy but don't worry there will be another 10 or 20 that you like even more. Just don't do it. I can tell by your posts that you are vulnerable. You should not be dating someone who is out drinking with friends while you study for your 8th grade math test.
Please don't!

 

14 isn't too young for sex...

But a 17 trying to nail a 14 year-old?

The guy is either a loser or a predator. You might not be able to see it.

 

just because he has had sex, does not mean that she will let him have sex with her
or that he will push for it

but, just in case

to the OP, NEVER have sex until you are 100% ready
and NEVER have sex with someone that is pressuring you to in anyway, stay away from clowns like that, they just want ass

 

i went out with a guy like that, he broke my heart, and then about three years later told me i was the only girl he really wanted to be with and he never got over me.

find some nice, shy, dorky boy that will put you first. an older guy can be intimidating, and cause you not to act like yourself. you have to be really comfortable with someone to have a good relationship, and the fact that you seem insecure + he's got other girls around will probably end up too big of an obstacle. add to that, the fact that he lives far away, and... it doesn't look like much fun. definitely keep him as a friend though, maybe someday..

 

Damn straight.

 

Oh..... Okay then..................

 

In her defense, she doesn't look 14. hahah

 

doesn't matter if she looks 14 or 17, it's still a confusing time at 14 especially when you think this wonderful 17 year old guy could be interested.

the thing is you have to learn to be confident in yourself. I don't know this guy and whether he is a player or serious. from what you've written I would think player. FWIW, I'd simply make it clear that if he's serious about you he's going to have to make a serious commitment to being with you (i.e. exclusive and none of this sleeping around with someone else at a party). on top of that, I'd make it pretty damned clear that the physical side would be approaching at the pace you want. you're younger than he is and more vulnerable and if he truly has your best interest at heart then he will make that commitment and put your wellbeing both mental and physical first.

I'm also willing to bet that he most likely isn't the type that can do this yet. not that he will never be able to but he doesn't sound like a mature enough 17 year old to understand these things as if he did you woudln't be here asking the questions.

 

word.

I'm sorry, but that's a scary imbalance of a relationship... there is a point where age is just a number but for me, under 18, you have to be -really- careful about age differences. 14 and 17 is too big a difference for me to wrap my brain around, I worry what this guy is after.

 

Yeah well, I dont think this even matters any more. Today he told me that he would just rather be friends.. I didnt give him enough attention and such. I dont think ive ever felt like this before. I havent eaten for two days and ive cryed so much all day...........................

I feel like shit.

And I dont need any one telling me "i told you so.." because honestly... I having issues as it is....

Thanks for your help any ways every one...

 

shit i done worse than that when i was 14. so let me tell you this; he just wants to fuck. and if he actually wants to be in a relationship then hes probably still a virgin too (despite what he says) so dont trip off that. i can understand why youd be confused, with him sending mixed signals and all that. just remember that hes probably fucken confused too. girls mature way faster than guys

 

Haha, I take that as a compliment.
:]

Your probably right. We are just talking now as friends. I guess its better. I dont think he liked me as much as he acted like it though. Cause he moved on so quickly.

:/
What ever. I cant let this boy get to me like this.
Haha

 

I dont know if youre gonna listen. But the THRUTH is hes not nessicarily a loser or a predator, but you are really really really young and NOT READY for a relationship. You dont even know yourself well yet.. Anyways, good luck, I wouldnt get your hopes up girl.

 

the world is full of good people.

eat something. make yourself cupcakes . being sad over a boy is okay for a little while, but remember to love yourself...

 

hey 90 paces. stop crying and eat girl. things are going to be ok. you will realize in the future, what you had was a crush only. the desire to love, not really love. you are a good person for that, but wait a while ok? I know its kinda hard and lonely, but dont end up fucking up your life and someone elses for being confused. True love is between two people, not a crush. I know you feel something real, its just attraction. Its gonna be ok sweetie. Let it go. Be here now in the moment. Dont focus on it anymore, just let it go. it was nothing. youre really young.