Looks aren't everything...

When I was younger, and more naive, I used to think that looks didn't matter. But now I'm becoming more selective when it comes to the attractiveness of the people I date. The way I see it is, if I'm not physically attracted to someone then it's going to significantly hinder the quality of a long-term relationship.

What do you guys think?

 

Although looks do matter to a lot of people. I am happy to say they don't as much to some. My girlfriend doesn't seem to mind that I am not the most handsome guy in the world. But their is something about me that she finds attractive. Can't for the life of me think what it is. A friend hooked us up on a blind date and I was attracted to her as soon as I spoke to her on the phone. As it turned out she is a very beautiful woman as well as smart and funny. Also twelve years younger then me. Still don't know what she sees in a crotchety old fart like me.

 

agreed. If an attractive person marries an ugly person, what will the kids look like?

 

maybe it's your gargantuan penis?

 

Looks matter. It hurts to say this because I am short, scrawny, have a jew-fro and biceps like a twelve year old girl, but looks do matter. Poor me, rofl

 

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You might find someone attractive that perhaps not many other people would. I think a lot of attraction simply has to do with chemistry.

 

I can't see dating someone I had no attraction for, so yes, I agree that looks do matter. I also agree with HCM, everyone has certain quirks, and specific things they might see in another person that others do not.

Looks may make it easier to get into a relationship with a person, but its certainly not enough to sustain a relationship

 

I agree. I have to be physically attracted to the girl for anything to happen. I wouldnt call that being shallow, it just matters to me. Personality is also very important but looks come first.
Also its usually the other way around, when your young you only go for the hot people, and when you are older you are less selective.
And yea i agree it probably will hinder the quality of the relationship, i would want to enjoy kissing a pretty face lol.

 

I've thought about this subject hundreds of time. As a straight man I often see girls that other men would not look at twice and I'm blown away by something sexy about them.

I can think of many girls who are not pretty - but really, really sexy. It might be just one feature about them - either a physical attribute, eg. a hairstyle or the way they dress, a particular type of clothing they wear.

In fact I concluded long ago that there are thousands of so called 'beautiful' girls who have no sexy attributes at all.

It is true however that, unfortunatey, I have met lots of girls who have no attractive features whatsoever.

I think everyone has to make the best of what they have - and in 99% of cases, everyone can be attractive in some way - even without so called 'good looks'. But, in some cases, additional (sometimes considerable) effort or changes have to be made by that person.

 

Yes, what a woman looks like is definitely important but the definition of 'good-looking' varies from one person to the next. For me, I like a person to have healthy skin and not be over- or under-weight. Big lips are a plus. And you have got to be wild in bed. No cold fish for me thanks!

 

Well, I used to think that it was all about physical appearance, and that was the way I was raised as well, unfortunately. Now, even though I am only 19 and have yet to obtain the amount of experience in my life needed to give a solid analysis of this question, I will say that in the little experience I've had it isn't always about the "outside appearance." For one, I think one of the most attractive features anyone can have is CONFIDENCE. A person with confidence (and not overly cocky, mind you) will attract MANY more people as opposed to someone lacking it. It's all in the way you carry yourself. Also, a smile and a laugh here and there is appealing to many as well. I knew a guy who by no means fit the G.Q. persona, but I found him attractive simply because of his sense of humor. Also, in life one comes to realize that we are all not the dainty little supermodels that society portrays as what should be the "norm." We begin to recognize the many, many flaws that make us so damned human. This is where personal experience and acceptance comes into play. While we'd all love to have the dainty little supermodels at our disposal, we know in reality it is the less shallow attributes of our lovers that attract us to them. I'm not saying that physical appearance doesn't have any bearing on our selections, however, it is not the ONLY quality we see in others. To be honest, it's all in whatchya like and whatchya don't. There are so many things that will turn me onto a male that has no relation to physical appearance I.E. intellect, confidence, humor, etc. Then there are so many that turn me off. For instance, I dated this guy who was extremely attractive... physically that is. But he was dumb as a doorknob. I would have been a little more forgiving of this if he wouldn't have been so damned cocky about his looks. Needless to say, it didn't last very long lol.


This is, however, my opinion. I could be wrong

 

Looks have nothing to do with love, but I agree that if you aren't attracted to someone it can lower the happiness of a long term relationship...I've fallen in love with gorgeous people, ugly people...people in between...but when you aren't attracted to someone, the sexual part of the relationship will suffer and therefore make a long term relationship not so much fun. You know?

 

Yeah, for me, I've dated someone who I wasn't originally physically attracted to, and then slowly the attraction grew. Now, he's a little hottie to me. Ha! Anyway, we had a great relationship, great sex, ect.

Maybe it's just me but it seems the more attractive someone is, the worse their relationships seem to be--especially for males, considering they feel they have a lot of options and don't seem to stay for long. Maybe my post is biased, but this is something minor I've noticed in my personal life.

But, honestly, I don't go for looks. And this is mainly because I didn't feel like I could. Now, I'm beginning to think otherwise. I've always needed a man to be intelligent and have an inner confidence as well as a sexual appeal to him. Like, there was one guy I almost dated, he wasn't exactly the most attractive person you would have ever met, but when I FIRST saw him I was attracted to him. I just wanted him! It was his energetic quality, maybe his high sexual energy. Hell, I don't know.

But, I don't ever want looks to be a focal point for me, but then again..I can't make any promises. lol

 

I forgot to add that! Nobody should reject someone because they aren't physically attractive at first...you should always give someone the chance, because you might fall in love with them...and they may seem more attractive to you as time goes by. Unless, of course they are completely hideous...think of the lady who had plastic surgery to make herself look like a tiger.

 

Haha, this is true. And you are not the only one who notices the thing about "options." But I think this is universal among all genders. If a person feels like they are God's gift to whomever, they will act upon it. Unfortunately, most people who believe this about themselves are typically waaay off track. Which brings me back to my original point of confidence- while it is great to have, being "overly cocky" is a HUGE turn-off. So yea, back to the physicalities, yes they are important in their own way, but as you've stated, there is so much more to attraction than mere looks. It IS the energy! Well said A person who gives off great energy, be it sexual or not, will attract people. It's just fact. If you can bring smiles to people's faces, make someone's day, or even make someone melt for a second, you've got good energy. And that is always attractive

 

Hahaha, well yea... I mean, if you're lookin' like Smeagol from Lord of The Rings, it might be a bit hard to find someone. But as they say, to each his own. Maybe there's someone out there who needs a Smeagol in their lives. It really comes down to how you carry youself and that energy you bring to a room.

 

When it all comes down to it, looks do matter. If a person doesn't look nice, then you may not approach them and you may never end up finding the love of your life, as I have.

After you fall in love with the person, then the person lets themself go, physically, then it doesn't seem to matter as much, because you have already fallen in love with the person, and it has become unconditional.

 

I have been told that I look like Smeagol. When I was in the Army, some of the sergents called me "Pvt. Smeagol". I think it's because of my ginormous ears. haha Decide for yourself:

 

Lol nah, I don't think ya look like Smeagol... To "look" like him would mean to have many of his physical characteristics I.E. big ears, bald, anorexic, green, pimply, a few, yellow, decrepit teeth, etc. lol

But I still don't think it's about looks. True, people that "look good" are probably more approachable than others, but when it comes down to it, to be genuinely attracted to someone isn't soley based on the outside appearances. As I stated, I was really attracted to this guy with a great sense of humor. He had that energy. He wasn't that great lookin', but his aura made up for that I think what you're talking about is the first approach. Of course if someone looks astonishing, they will be approaced a lot sooner than someone less fortunate. But in general, attraction itself is based off of many other things aside from the physical qualities, first approach or not. This is why you find people saying things like "UGH, how did SALLY, of ALL people, get that good looking guy? Now, I KNOW I look better than HER, ugh, I just can't believe this!" Or why you'll find a really good looking girl with a really ugly dude lol. It goes beyond the skin

 

Those are good points, but if you are in public and trying to find someone to hang out with, you probably won't approach someone whom you don't find physically attractive and, therefore, you may miss your chance to be with the person you are meant to be with. The only time looks don't really play a role is when you are already friends with a person and eventually develop feelings for them.