I think I'm too nice. People around me are always trying to take advantage of my good nature and never appreciate what I do for them.Perhaps I have a big ego? Everybody I have ever met have had some selfish motive or the other. I feel very tempted to be 100% selfish and just forget about others. I want to fullfill my desires that I have been supressing for years, yet I fear the law of Karma. The ways of spirituality is not something I feel ready for yet, what should I do?
In my short time here it appears that replys are generally positive; as opposed to some others where you really better have some thing to say, they are like sharks circling a Pirate, ready to rip him apart. Now back to life, many people do not appreciate what is done for them. Many do remember the nice things done for them. For example I have loaned $ to many people (small amounts.) Most of the time I would forget about it, as the purpose was to help, not to receive anything - including the $. Hence, I was always receiving gifts when they paid me back! The important thing is that if you are being nice to partially inure good Karma; you will be disappointed. That said; untill ego is completely dissolved, it is of human nature at a deep level to want to be appreciated. When that occurrs remove yourself from that feeling, each time it appears in your mind. If not,it's like a poisen flowing into the mind & heart. I suspect you are not nice for reward, but from a desire to help people. But don't give up, there are people out there who will see you for who you are. Nameste: john
Do what you think is best. Try to be selfless, but don't be like that artificially. Being , acting like a yogi when one is not is a mityachari- a liar- this is said in bhagavad gita. The idea of religion is to free you, not to bind you to something . Therefore, one good thing to do is be yourself. if you want to do something for yourself that makes you feel special, then do it, because you deserve it. Do the thing that feels right for your heart. But don't be in doubt. Doubt is the worst type of thing there is. In bhagavad gita , lord krishna says that one who is in doubt will never find peace no matter what he does. Therefore, never be in doubt. Always do something that your consciousness tells: "its okay" and don't feel bad about it. For example, if you think you are being too selfless and and you want to do something that will be only for yourself for a change, then don't feel bad later on that you were selfish when you were doing this. if you feel bad that you were selfish, then again that will be another hell for you. Just do the things that you do (your daily things) and do them for God, that is your dharma. When you do your duty- dharma, you won't have any karma problems. So don't feel bad or scared of karma. Also, don't do other's duty, doing so will just be another hellish emotional condition in your mind again for you and you don't want that. I strongly recommend bhagavad gita for you, please read it. http://vedabase.net/bg/ Do your duty (dharma) and be free of any doubts.
Thank you for that Jedi...I often feel a lot of similar feelings that Pirate24 described... I have read Bhagavad-Gita but it seems so long ago (it was only June!)...but sometimes its so hard to break old habits...especially guilt and doubt (even when you know in your heart that you have no reason to feel these things)...thank you to you and John for your positive responses...I think we can only do the best that we can...
Yep , we can do the best we can , thats all God is asking us to do , be the best you can be in anything you want to be haha . and thank you!
The thing with doing good deeds is that they do bring positive karma, but the 'return' may not be on the same level as the action that leads to it - eg. if I give money to someone, it doesn't mean I'll get treated with kindness by others necessarily - but some good may come on another level - in steady advancement on the path, or in many other ways. A blessing may come. But thats not the right reason to try to do good - I think you sound like one to whom doing good is 'second nature' - thats great. Its always best to just do what one can, what one really is duty bound to do, and not to seek accolades etc. But still, everyone wants to feel appreciated, and really thats legitimate enough in my opinion, provided it doesn't turn into a big ego trip! And speaking for myself, I'd rather be appreciated for who I am, rather than my actions, good or bad. Love.
I quote the brhadarankyaka upanishad atmanastu kamaya sarvam priyam bhavati. This means, for the sake of the Self, everything is beloved. In other words, all actions are selfish, if you cut through to the core of motive. Only one who is a jnani performs selfless deeds, because he has no sense of doership. In all the rest of us even the noblest of actions is done because we get somethingout of it, some sense of satisfaction, some joy, some ego rush, some pleasure, some gain. However this is not a license to go on a binge of selfishness. Even though your motives maybe selfish, if your actions and thoughts are on a higher plane and you dont harm others, or even do them good in some way, then you also benefit in the long run, coming one step closer to brahman. However actions which take you away from this, which hurt others, which cause suffering pain and loss to others, will take you away form brahman. And it is that which clouds your inner light, that which draws you fromt he spiritual path, that which tightens your bonds to this material plane, that is what is defined as a sin in hinduism.
I find that signs like pisces, capricorn, virgo and cancer are by nature helpful, willing to teach or serve without seeking results. There are other signs that don't mind taking advantage of people's goodness, and they can leave scars to the point that you start dobting your ways. I hope that can help.
