long distance and betrayal of a freind

hi, ive been a member of this site for a long time, but havent been active much, so i started a new account. the reason i did this is because i find that hippies tend to have the best advice about love, and i could use some right about now. so heres the deal. i moved in with my former male roommates sister this year, her and i got along great and he and i started dateing. everything was great , then one day she came home ands said she purchased a condo and i would have to find a roommate! we only lived together for 2 months! the bad part though was that where i live it is winter and people dont move much this time of year. finding a roommate was basicly becoming imposible. my old roommate was still paying her half of the rent after she moved out because she was still under contract. but last month she got pissed and said it was my fault no one was renting her room and said she wasnt going to pay anymore. which would have gotten me evicted but i moved out instead. the problem is i had to move back home and quit school because i couldnt afford the full rent. but my bf who i love sooo much and who i had more or less the perfect relationship with had to stay there. so im trying to deal with that and now the betrayal of a freind, what should i do? i want to tell her all the damage she has caused, but i dont want to ruin things between him and i. im scared of loseing him, please help!!! this is makeing me sick and i dont sleep anymore i worry so much. any advice?

 

I think you need to get your priorities straight.

What matters more?

School or your boyfriend?

It's tough now, but honestly it sounds like a lot of distraction and unnecessary noise - I am referring to your boyfriend and your lousy ex-roommate who doubles as your boyfriend's sister. It may help to think of this as a trial period and a time where you have the opportunity to reflect not only on what has happened but on what matters to you, and WHAT you're going to do to get back on your feet.

At some point you should find your own strength, and make your own decisions. Please always consider what is more important to you in the long run. If you have doubts about a person's love, or their character, I suggest an evaluation of why you're having those doubts in the first place and if you can do far better than hanging around such people.

Never fear yourself or your own character. If you have done nothing wrong, don't be afraid to pick up the pieces and re-align your life. Good things will come to you in time, and like attracts like.

 

im not doubting my relationship. we have a very good strong relationship. i guess i was looking more for advice on how to handle the long distance thing until i can move back and start school again. also i was looking for advice on what to do about his sister, i want to tell her all the harm she caused by being so selfish, but i dont want to make his life harder by making her mad, i dont want her to take it out on him since she doesnt think she did anything wrong by bailing on me and turning my life upsidedown.

 

lol Thanks for mentioning that earlier. There are mics, webcams and phones these days.

I wouldn't say anything about his sister. If you have as strong a relationship with your boyfriend as you say you do, he will notice why your address has changed, don't you think? It's not like changing your hair colour or your nail polish. You have *moved*. He is sure to wonder what happened. If he asks, I would personally hint at something but I would never say anything terrible about his sister. You may even talk about it in a matter of fact way but I would not suggest ranting to him, showing your anger or your frustration. Family is a very touchy business, imo and in my humble experience.

Don't bulldoze your way thinking that just because you date him, that you have the right to test his loyalties. It's not his fault that he has a sister who behaves this way, and neither is it his fault that you agreed to live with her without first perhaps doing your homework on what type of person she is. I know shit happens, but I would not suggest speaking badly about his sister. It only reflects on you.

 

yeah i know i shouldnt rant i guess, its just so hard not to be angry with her since we were freinds. and he does know i moved, hes quite sad about it as well. i just feel so on edge laitly because im angry with his sister but missing him soooo much and missing school. thanks for the advice though.

 

Ah.. yes, that sucks. I'm really sorry to hear about the school, and the delay. I know it's a very difficult time for you now but somehow the setbacks in life also help us appreciate the times when all goes smoothly? I hope things go well. And you'll see him still! Stay in touch, and if you get bummed out there's always hipforums... and a tub of icecream.

 

hahaha! yes, ice cream has a way of healing all wounds doesnt it? i should like to meet tom and jerry some day and tell them what a bang up job they have done in marketing such a tasty anti-depressent