Ok, i havent posted here in a while. But im in a real bad situation and would like any help from any kind people ok i been with my current b/f for a year. we became serious bout eachother soon. we are young - im 19, hes 22. we moved in with eachother a few months ago. anyways, he has a horriable anger problem. he never threatens to hurt me or anything, but everyttime he gets angry or fustrated, he gets sucidal. he throws tantrums. he tries to kill himself in front of me, and many many times i have had to stop him. or sometimes he starts to leave, saying he won't come back(like going to go kill himself) everytime we get into an argument, he starts getting sucidal. it realy hurts my feelings. it hurts me because it makes me think he doesnt care about ME since he wants to kill himself. like he doesnt care how I'LL feel about it. ive told him this and he doesnt seem to understand. i have been thinkin bout breaking up with him lately - he tries hard to make me happy but i just dont feel happy in the relationship anymore. and it hurts me so bad when he tries to kill himself, i start crying and yelling and going OUT Of control(something i NEVER do). so now when i start talking bout "US" and weither or not we should be together or not(i try to talk about the matter in a mature way) he gets fustrarted and sucicidal. i do love/care about him, but unsure if its going to work. i want to tell him i think we should break up, because the relationship is making me unhappy and hurting me. however, im scared he might kill himself, and thats the last thing i want to happen. i dont know what to do/think. and i have nobody to talk to! i have no friends everytime i try talking to him about US he just gets fustrarted and my feelings are pushed aside. thanks to anyone who helps. i very much apperiate it. soryr i couldnt give ALL the details, but i didnt wanna make it too long. if theres any questions i should answer to help get a better soultiuon, please let me know! THANKS!
he's controlling you by threatening suicide it's manipulative and low and it's not your job to keep him from killing himself, your job is to take care of yourself first and foremost. It doesn't sound like this relationship is anywhere close to healthy (you may want to post this in relationships if you haven't already)
He sounds like a total loser... If hes so bent on killing himself you should know its not your fault if he actually does it. Its going to be too hard on yourself to continually stop him from trying to, and I'm sure hes not actually trying to, or he would have already. Hes probably just trying to get attention. Let him try and kill himself, he will probably never go through with it. If he does, thats one less crazy person the rest of us have to deal with.
You've got a dilemma. On one hand, you obviously care about this guy with problems. On the other, you have to put yourself in a healthy situation. It's time to get out of the situation. Let him know that you care about him and want him to be healthy, but that you can't continue on like it is, so you are leaving. Offer to help set him up with counseling or suggest that he talks to a doctor/parent/pastor who could give him guidance. YOU ARE NOT ABLE TO HELP HIM. Only he can help himself, so set him up with someone who is trained to deal with his issue and not emotionally involved. The most important thing to do is get out. BTW, he is not really going to kill himself. Like others have said, it is a ploy for attention and power. if he wanted to kill himself, he would have done it alreaddy and you wouldn't be able to stop him. I'm sorry you're in a tough situation, but you need to get yourself healthy and free. peace and love
Everybody here is absolutely right. 19, jeez, your just a kid, and you have to babysit a 22 year old? That sucks. Time to dump him and move on. A restraining order would be great too. And if he ever comes over and says he just wants to talk.... DO NOT DO IT. Ever hear of Ira Einhorn? Yeah the psycho hippy that killed his gf and didn't get caught until 25 yrs later. Also, a couple of years ago in my town, a girl that attended the university I attend was almost stabbed to death by her ex, who she had a restraining order against. He came to her apartment and said he just wanted to talk, so as soon as she lets him in, they go to her room, and then her roommate hear's her scream. She goes in sees him stabbing her, so the roommate pushes him off of her grabs her and runs. Of course he follows her into the street, and continues to stab her until the cops showed up, at that point he stabbed himself in the stomach. She was in critical condition, but she pulled through. He survived as well, not sure if he is locked up in jail or a mental institution as I couldn't find anything in the news about it. The point is, if he doesn't care enough about himself that he might actually kill himself, what makes you think he would value your life anymore? He doesn't care about you. Better kick him to the curb.
i dated a boy for 3 years, and just recently broke up w/ him. he was the same way your current boyfriend is now. our relationship was really unhealthy and i would always tell him i couldn't be in the relationship, and he would get suicidal and freak out. one time he took me to his house and got a gun out and was threatening to kill himself. i got back together with him because i was really afraid, but then i ended up breaking up w/ him anyway about a week later. he threatened to kill himself, and i would tell him not to and talk to him for hours trying to calm him down. he's fine now i guess, although i don't talk to him anymore. i think you should tell somebody that he acts the way he does. and get him help or something. and as for you, you need to get out of the relationship right away. nobody needs to be treated like that, you need to be happy.
That is an awfully self-centered, insecure person. If you love him, you should do some couple counseling biznass or something. Or call his bluff. That's what I'd do. Because I'll bet you a buck he won't do it.
He's not going to kill himself. This is how he keeps a ball and chain around you. He avoids losing arguments or getting into them alltogether by threatening suicide. Next time he does it, walk away. If he threatens to leave, let him. Tell him you're done dealing with it and suggest he get help. He doesn't need help, but maybe it'll make him realize that you're done dealing with his immature bullshit. It doesn't seem like he cares about you or your feelings very much. Maybe he should be a bit less self-centered and realize that he's in a serious relationship with someone other than himself.
