Hello, I was hoping to get some opinions on the age (what may be an appropriate) age to start a family. This is more for people who have their children later in life. I have heard so many views on it. Some think having children at an advance age not only puts the baby at risk but is also a disadvantage i.e. Dying while your child is still young. Not having the patience a younger parents may have. Some say it is selfish. I don't agree But was wondering what other think? Thanks
32 was the perfect age for me to have my first kid. Others are perfectly happy becoming grandparents at my age... it totally depends on the person in question. I did a lot of growing up in my twenties, and having kids before I was ready would have been disastrous for the children and for me.
over 16 being able to have a job is a good thing (even if it's not necessarily exercised depending on the relationship itself). Beyond that I think it's based off the unique individual involved - some people are mature enough at 16, some become mature enough, some aren't ready until they're older. I'm still not ready for a kid, but if I was pregnant and had to keep it, I'd find a way to handle it
i doubt that a 16 year old could be ready for a child IMO because for one most 16 year olds only make minimum wage and that is not enough to support a child and yourself. I'm 21 and I'm semi-ready for a child, but not really. I still have a year left of college until I get my degree, but I have a good job. I want to wait until my late twenties until I bring children into this world.
Medically between 20 and 35, that age range and the least amount of problems with childbirth. In mothers older and younger there are more risks for birth defects and disorders like autism. Also women's hormones fluctuate a lot before the age of 20 and starting for some women after the age of 35 that can cause a lot of emotional and mental stress especially if you add a pregnancy to it.
Excellent points. I remember reading that women over 36 start running the risk of having a difficult pregnancy.
This is just my opinion, but I think that having a baby at 30 is perfect. A baby changes your life so much, and a person should enjoy the things that they will no longer be able to do in their 20's (like college, partying, traveling, sleeping LOL). I think the best way to explain it is that you will worry for the rest of your life about the person you brought into the world. You can never fully relax again. Even when they are asleep, you worry. When they are out of your sight, you worry. Sometimes even when they are in your arms, you worry. You worry that something will happen to you because of them as well. Everything is different. Of course, I had my babies at 29 and 33, so that is what I know. My sister had her babies at 18, 24, 35, and 38. She says now that she enjoyed her babies so much more in her 30s. When she was younger, she was too immature and selfish, but that is just her. Good luck to anyone thinking that they want to start a family. It will change your life like you cannot imagine at this point.
bull. you know what the real problem is? doctors who treat you like your body is broken because you have passed this magical line in the sand when you turn 35. And when your care providers have no faith in you or your body's ability to carry and birth a child without their help, things tend to go really wrong really fast. They've recently discovered that we do in fact make new eggs our entire reproductive lives, we aren't born with a limited number of ova and the whole notion of eggs expiring is just another form of age-ism and a pack of lies. What next? Doctors don't know everything, even if most of them think they are God.
You sound a little bitter (just an observation) Where did you read that they recently discovered that women produce new eggs? I would love to read those studies.
I had my first child at 19 and adopted my last one at 52. I think there are advantages and disadvantages both ways. With my older children I was able to run around and get down on the floor and play with them. I can't do that now with my four year old. I certainly didn't know much about raising children in a healthy manner whenI was 19. I did what the doctors told me to do without asking why. Now I ask questions about everything. We stopped immunizing, we did not circumcize, and we basically don't go to the doctor except when he is too sick forme to take care of. My older children all went to public school even when they were having all kinds of problems in school and should have been taken out. My youngest is homeschooled. The patience thing is up for grabs. It depends on the days activity. Today, I have none. We went to homeschool day at an art museum. According to my son, "It was sooooooooooooooooooo Veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrryyyyyyyy borrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring." Therefore he acted out all day and even tonight he was still acting out. So the patience is gone right now. However, most days I find that I have more patience than I did 30 years ago. Like I said, there are advantages and disadvantages both ways. I have five grandchildren older than my youngest and two that are younger than he is. But I wouldn't trade any of them. Kathi
I was home schooled and I hated it. Even now as a grown woman I wish I had gone to school of some kind. Kids need the relationships that they make in school.
Please stay on topic, Skittlechick. I think there is no right parenting age. Not uniform. I don't think I'd be a good parent if I had waited until my thirties. I feel this is the right age for me to be a parent. And it has to be.
I wan't going off topic i was just commenting to a post. Also medically there are ages where it is not healthy for women to have babies.
My parents were young when they had me. Mother was 17 Father was 20. So I am curious about older people having kids. Just to understand the other side I guess. My parents did have patients. But often the feel of not being planned stayes in the back of my mind. It's silly I know.
Hey HippieFreak, I think she was referring to my comment that I now homeschool Dakota and would have homeschooled my older children if I had any sense in my head back then. That's just one of the ways my thinking has changed as I got older. So for me it related to the parenting age question. I'm sorry you didn't like homeschooling, but it's definitely what's best for my child. When I was younger I wouldn't have considered this option. Now I wouldn't consider any other way. Kathi
I had my first baby at 24 and my last at 38. I had more patience at 38, and more energy at 24. (I also had babies at 26 and 29.) It depends on the womyn. Some do better as older mothers, some do better as younger mothers, for some, it makes no difference. The "problems" of physically having babies "young" or "old" are really not dicernable. I had a terrible pregnancy at 24, the "perfect age" to be pregnant and have childbirth. And even things like Down's Sydrome do not appreciablly increase until the age of 47 or so. When YOU think is best, is probably best. My kids all had similar, yet different childhoods, based on their own personalities, the birth order, their genders, and the Times they were born in. I don't think having a baby at 68 is a good idea, physicallly, but, I have seen great moms at 17 and great moms at 55 and older.
