I was in my first year of college and home for the weekend, visiting my girlfriend who was a senior in high school. We'd been hanging out in her room drinking and waiting for her parents to go to bed. By the time the house quieted down, we were both drunk and horny. They had a pretty small house and sound carried well, so we were always careful to keep the noise to a minimum. Anyways, a half hour later I'm nailing her from behind, get a little overeager and pull back a bit too far. When I slam back into her I'm an inch or two off target and bury my cock into her virgin, unlubricated ass. I've never heard a cat on fire, but I'd imagine the shriek she let out to be pretty similar. My mind is screaming "ABORT ABORT LOUD NOISE OH FUCK BAD BAD!" I quickly roll off her and pull the blankets up over her as her dad busts into the room in his skivvies holding a baseball bat, looking to destroy the asshole that’s broken into their house. She mumbles something about "night terrors" while I pretend to be half asleep and confused. He seemed pretty doubtful of the explanation but left us alone. There was a long moment though where the thought of being beaten to a bloody pile of jelly and bone fragments while naked by an old, fat guy in his underpants would be the ultimate in undignified deaths. http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=2244&p=3
A goon is a member of the SomethingAwful forums. I thought perhaps you were a fellow goon. Never mind.
